Oh, man. With the lame-duck Bush Administration on the fast quack, some weeks there's just too much weird news. Two seemingly unrelated stories caught my attention in the past 48 hours. Maybe you can tie 'em together. Or maybe I'll just have to make us some pâté.

First story, this one from Thursday: Bush made a tour of Latin America this week to boost his faltering partnerships with presidents there. During a joint press conference with Brazil's president, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, a reporter asked whether Brazil was having any luck in getting more access to European and U.S. markets through ongoing trade talks. According to the New York Times, President da Silva said he was hopeful that the negotiators would soon reach "the so-called 'G-point' to come to an agreement" - "point" being the best word the Brazilian translator could come up with on the "spot." Ahem.

The Brazilians in the room laughed out loud. President Bush looked pale. And, NYT reports: "The other Americans in the room puzzled over what initially appeared to them to be perhaps a local term used when speaking about trade talks."

Yeah, trade talks that go like this: "Honey, I'll do that thing you like, if you make sure to reach my 'G-point' first."

Second story, from the AP wire Friday afternoon: Or maybe it's not a story. Depends on who you ask. Who's asking? And who told you to ask anyway? Can I see some I.D.?

Enough beating around the -- ahem -- bush. The FBI released a bulletin this week alleging that foreign extremists have been getting commercial driver licenses in order to drive yellow school buses. The AP led into the story with this provocative wind-up: "Suspected members of extremist groups have signed up as school bus drivers in the United States, counterterror officials said Friday, in a cautionary bulletin to police." However, an FBI spokesman conceded that they have no proof that any of these drivers pose a threat. "There are no threats, no plots and no history leading us to believe there is any reason for concern," the FBI's Rich Kolko stated to the AP.

So, OK, the kids are alright and the FBI just noticed that there are foreign drivers-for-hire in the U.S. Jeez, have they never hailed a cab in a major metropolitan area?

Worry. Don't worry. Put your children on the bus on Monday morning. Or not. This is the kind of terror alert we've come to expect from Bush's government: "Be unsure. Be very unsure." Sounds like his spinmeisters are back to Ol' Reliable: when the Prez is in trouble, manufacture some fear. It's the only thing that's gotten his poll ratings up, and he sure needs all the -- ahem -- points he can get right now.