I'm not sure why I only really want a hot lunch and never, ever, ever crave a cold sandwich, but I have an idea and I think it would make a lot of psychoanalysts nod their heads knowingly.

When I was in grade school, I sometimes went home for lunch, but I also often ate lunch at school. But, being ineligible for the free or reduced rate hot lunch, my mom packed me a lunch. It was the usual: a sandwich, a banana or an apple or a baggie of grapes, a Snack Pack pudding. You know, the regular stuff. There was nothing wrong with the lunch itself, rather the problem lies in the atmosphere.

The hot lunch kids -- by far the majority -- sat in the lunchroom at long tables and appeared to be having a great time. We cold-lunch-from-home kids sat in an unused classroom across the hall. At most there were a couple dozen of us, kept apart, deprived of the fun in the lunchroom.

After a while of this, I think I started going home again for lunch. After all, if I couldn't sit with most of my friends anyway, why not go home, pet the dog, watch some TV and get away for a while?

I'm not really scarred by this experience in any way (that I can tell) except that I don't want a sandwich for lunch, thank you very much. A grilled cheese? Sure. A tuna melt, OK. But a cold sub of any kind? You enjoy it, I'm going to get something warm.