So I'm thinking of heading out to buy myself a gun. I'm going to Gander Mountain or Ye Ol' Shooter Shoppe or Bullets and Babes. You know, one of those places where you can get the gun, a pocket full of ammo and maybe a pair of black shooting gloves. I'm just kidding of course.

What I'm trying to do is deal with the tragic shooting in Colorado as I listen to the NRA sycophants prattle on about how guns don't kill people but people kill people. I've heard it said that NRA stands for Neanderthal Redneck A**holes. I can't disagree.

This whole thing makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe I am a wuss.

I love our Constitution and I especially love all the amendments that gave women the right to vote, got rid of slavery and all that other good stuff. But that second amendment gives me pause. Not one of our founding fathers considered mass murder to be a factor in who ought to be able to have a gun. They wanted people to have flintlocks or blunderbusses to protect their houses against raiding armies.

The NRA is so powerful and has bought the souls of so many politicians, that it's hard to even get a good discussion going about gun control. Those well-armed guys and girls won't even brook a moment of logical or rational discussion.

Well, let me get back to me going to get a gun. I'm a grandfather and I look like a grandfather. If I go to buy a pistol they can run a background check and I'll come back clean. The guy behind the counter can be fairly sure that I'm not out to commit mass murder.

But when a guy buys four guns, including automatic weapons, and then buys 6,000 rounds of ammunition on the Internet, and he buys bullet proof clothing and a gas mask, well, the odds are that he ain't going out for target practice or even to shoot rabbits in his garden.

I know we face all kinds of obstacles when it comes to dealing with guns. But here's a simple solution that makes use of our technological abilities.

Every time a gun is sold or ammunition is purchased, a record of that sale goes into a central database. When someone comes into a store to buy a gun or a fist full of bullets, you access the database and see if he bought something lethal recently.

If it looks like there's a pattern developing, we blow the whistle on this guy and refuse to sell him another thing. If this takes a little time, like a day or two, I say who gives a damn if the purchase is delayed. Call it a safety lay-a-way plan.

Will this solve all our problems? No. But it sure can't hurt.

I'm not sure of all the facts of the latest shooting, but I'll bet this guy tried to build his cache of armaments while remaining under the radar. Let's use computers to shed some bright light on outrageous purchase patterns of weapons. Maybe it will make us a little bit safer.

Maybe the NRA is actually in favor of safety. And then again, maybe not. I mean, how about the congressman from Texas who remarked how surprised he was that nobody in the theater was carrying so they could shoot the killer.

And I'm not kidding.