Five ways I'm a disgrace to Milwaukee
I do my best to celebrate the beauty of this town and to work for change in ways I believe it needs it the most. However, I certainly have my share of Brew City blind spots and am not always the uber Cheesehead I like to think I am.
So, here are five ways that I'm a disgrace to Milwaukee:
1. I am a terrible bowler. There is no excuse for this. I started taking bowling lessons when I was in grade school. Then I went to Shorewood High School where there is a bowling alley on campus and bowling was a frequently offered gym unit. Finally, I have spent many, many nights bowling at Landmark Lanes and Bay View Bowl, and still, I am lucky to break 120. I like to blame it on the fact I never got my own ball and never feel like the ball I pick is quite right for me, but let's face it. I lack the keggling gene. Wah-wah.
2. I don't really like bratwurst. I love grilling them for other people, but I'm just not a fan. It's unfortunate, because I love sauerkraut and I love mustard, and brats seem like the perfect vehicle for consuming these condiments together.
3. I am yet to catch an episode of "Made In Milwaukee." I am really excited about this DIY Network home remodeling show that premiered at the beginning of this month, and I have not had a chance to check it out. I heard the show is quite good. Nice work, Flux Design.
4. I started saying "pop" recently. After a lifetime of calling it "soda," I have slipped into this terrible, unforgivable habit of calling carbonated soft drinks "pop." I blame it on the Minnesotan I live with. I am really trying to resist his other Minneapolis-laced vocabulary like "sack" instead of "bag" and "garbage bucket" instead of "garbage can."
5. I still struggle with the spelling of multiple Milwaukee words. This might be OK for some, but as an entertainment writer, I regularly type "Kinnickinnic" and "Potawatomi" and yet I have to double check the spellings every time. Hell, I just googled both the words right now to make absolutely certain I wasn't misspelling them in a blog about misspelling. I'm hopeless, I tell ya der hey.
Pop? Sack? Garbage Bucket? Watch out...next thing you know, your kids will be playing "Duck, Duck, Grey Duck."
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