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Apparently, there are only seven living "supercentenarians" in the world. All of them: DOOMED. |
| By Michael Stodola Special to OnMilwaukee.com E-mail author | Author bio More articles by Michael Stodola |
| Published Nov. 3, 2009 at 3:06 p.m. |
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Is it just me, or are the world's oldest people constantly dying? They reach about 115 years old and ka-put. The world-over this phenomenon continues to plague our eldest. I don't suggest getting this old to anyone. What really gets me the most about the "curse of the super old" is that it always makes the news.
It seems like I read that another 100-something has "taken that little black train" on a monthly basis. Willard Scott gives them a shout out on their birthday, and a few months later they show up on msn.com, dead.
Apparently, there are only seven living "supercentenarians" in the world. All of them: DOOMED. (A supercentenarian is one living beyond 110 years.) But this is news ... because ... um ...
Do you know what else? The youngest person on Earth has just been born. NOW. No, wait ... NOW. I suppose that's a lot harder to track, let alone report. And, how do they track who's oldest? Supposedly, that title now belongs to a 114-year-old Japanese woman named Kama. Go visit her, quickly. I'm sure there have been a handful of oldies that have actually been the oldest, but lack "verification." Meh ... paperwork.
The oldest person ever (if you ignore the Bible's statistics) was Jeanne Calment (however, disputed by a 128-year old Salvadoran lady -- now passed). Jeanne was a French gal who lived to be 122 years, 164 days. Remember how important counting "half-years" was when you were little? It gets REAL important when you live as long as trees. Most of the top 100 oldest dead people also have lived in the United States. Really? India and China have populations over one billion, whereas America has a population of 306 million. Maybe America just has the most powerful public relations staff?
It gets a little sketchy due to verifications based on birth certificates printed on animal skins or cave walls. Not to mention, the most common lie could be about one's age. Do you think women who lie about being YOUNGER, begin to lie about being OLDER at some point? Highly dubious.
Either way, I suppose it's interesting to peek into the lives of others -- and being so old is just a good excuse. Just like drinking beer in Milwaukee. But, beware ye of 115 years ... don't procrastinate and we'll read about you real soon.
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6 comments about this article. Post a comment / write a review. |
Posted by joe on Nov. 4, 2009 at 1:17 p.m. (report)
This is so irrevent and creative. Something that we can all now associate with the creative staff at Boelter + Lincoln. Perhaps a whole series should be done... "Is it just me or does it seem like Michael J. Fox shakes a lot more now that he has Parkinson's Disease?" Let's watch the hilarity ensue.
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Posted by Broner on Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:30 p.m. (report)
WTF?
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Posted by ssspinball on Nov. 4, 2009 at 10:24 a.m. (report)
This reads like it was supposed to be in the The Onion, but this isn't The Onion... I don't get it.
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Posted by Mil_WI on Nov. 4, 2009 at 9:35 a.m. (report)
I'm trying to figure out the purpose of this post - all respect to the author. The mention of verification of birth records suggests there may be something worth reading, but the overall tone is that this he's belittling the significance of supercentenarians - maybe with the simple purpose of being funny or clever. He writes, "But this is news ... because ... um ... " Well, to me it's newsworthy because any nonagenarian, centenarian, much less a supercententarian, is incredible. (This summer I was speaking with my 92-yr-old great uncle; he's a charming, wonderful man, and listening to his perspective is humbling.) In particular, today's supercentenarians were born in the 1890's - a lifetime that spans three calendar centuries. That fact alone is mind-bogglingly incredible. To have been born only 30 years after the Civil War (and watch an African American be elected to the White House), to have been an adult during WWI, to have been in your mid-70's when humans first landed on the moon, and to witness firsthand the exponential proliferation of technology from an era of horse-and-buggy to terabyte-wielding hand-held computers (not to mention today's land, air, and sea vehicles), is so fascinating to many of us. It's obvious the current "World's Oldest" may not retain the title for long. We get it. However, when you relegate their physical, emotional, and overall human marvel to a gimmick - "Supposedly, that title now belongs to a 114-year-old Japanese woman named Kama. Go visit her, quickly." - it is simply not funny or clever. It's bad taste. If you want a second opinion, go ask their families.
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Posted by joe on Nov. 4, 2009 at 9:24 a.m. (report)
A very distasteful article.
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