Despite the fact that the divorce rate was holding firm long before the economy took a crap on us, the recession is being blamed for a lot of floundering relationships.

It's no secret that when times are tough, bills are piling up and one or more of the parties in a relationship fear being laid off, a relationship can suffer because we are so preoccupied with keeping our heads above water.

At the same time, the economic uncertainty may be keeping couples together because lack of financial flexibility may limit freedom.

It's a complex issue, but these are complex times.

If you're the employed half of a relationship, you may begin to resent the fact that although there is nothing all that glamorous about cashing unemployment checks, you just spent a full day at work while you're significant other may not have changed out of their pajamas until 6 p.m., if at all. You no longer have the back and forth comparisons of bad days or good, obnoxious boss stories to compare or the same feeling at the end of a long work week.

When you're the one unemployed, it can be even harder than being the one at work all day because in times like these, whether you are qualified or not, the options simply aren't there. It's easy to begin to feel like a burden to the other person or even ashamed and unwanted. It's easy to let the mundane day-to-day get to you and become depressed at the lack of prospects. While the day of your partner may fly by, you've had nothing to do but sit, think, send out more resumes for jobs you're overqualified for and lose yourself in books or television to avoid the reality of your own situation. It's tempting to watch the screwed-up lives of those on daytime television to make you feel better about yourself, but beware, it's an easy addiction.

If you're in a serious relationship, or you're either living together or married, my suggestion to the unemployed would be this: show your great appreciation for the one bringing home the much needed bacon by keeping up with the things around the house. Do the laundry, clean, make dinner, become a temporary desperate housewife (or husband, as the case may be). Keep a schedule and wake up when your significant other does, sleeping until noon and getting nothing accomplished will only add to your feelings of self-doubt. Plus, when you do land a job it will be that much harder to get your body back on track.

Get what you need done such as sending out resumes and touching base with call backs. Keep up with current events, it's useful in interviews and you'll have something relevant to discuss over dinner when your employed someone comes home. All of this will not only keep your mind and body busy, but it will show your hardworking honey that you may be down, but you're in no way out and that you want to make their life easier by stepping up at home while they slave away at their desk.

Free time is a great time to exercise. Even if you just go out for a walk, getting out and moving will allow you time to sweat out your worries and get you refocused. It's a fact that physical exercise can help ward off feelings of depression. Plus there is nothing like kickboxing the hell out of something to make you feel better about damn near anything. And speaking of getting sweaty...

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2 comments about this article. Post a comment / write a review.

Recent Talkbacks ...

Posted by Broner on July 22, 2009 at 12:31 p.m. (report)

I do believe that this down economy affects relationships. I know I have a lot less to spend on my mistresses and that has caused some friction.

Posted by speakthetruth on July 20, 2009 at 4:14 p.m. (report)

Relationships suffer when women want to talk about invented "feelings" for hours on end instead of just living their lives. The economy has nothing to do with it.

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