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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014

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In Living Commentary

Winter is here ... grab a blanket.

The sexy side of winter


It's winter in Wisconsin and I've decided this season truly belongs to couples. (Or at least people that like to snuggle or "roast their chestnuts on an open fire" if you know what I mean.)

It's easy to be single during summer. It's a hot, sexy time of year and it feels like singles come out of the woodwork during the warm months in the Midwest. But during winter, we prefer to hibernate and spend cold nights warming our feet under the covers with someone and a salad bowl full of mistletoe.

I'm not a cold-weather person. I've been bitching about the cold since I realized there were places in the world where it's summer all year long. While they all look forward to a winter wonderland, I start counting down the days to spring the moment the temperatures start to drop. I'm also very susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder, which doesn't help matters. I need those long summer days to be a functional human being. Waking up in the dark and driving home from work in the dark is just too damn depressing.

All that aside, even I can see the upsides of the chill. It's a very romantic time of year. There is something mysterious and magical about snow falling, the soft glow of holiday lights and the smell of fires in the fireplace. Snuggling in 85 degree, 97 percent humidity summer weather doesn't have the same sweetness that curling up under a blanket while the wind howls outside does.

I tend to be far less social when it's cold out. It's harder to convince yourself to get all dolled up and hit up the town in six-inch heels when there's an 85 percent chance you'll break an ankle on a patch of ice. (I still do it, but I don't like my odds!) That said, I've grown up and gotten smarter as I've gotten older.

In college, my friends and I would nearly freeze to death walking to house parties in the dead of winter because we didn't want to get stuck wearing a coat over our tiny little outfits. Nothing like a little frostbite to get a guy's attention.

This time of year, you can use the flu as an excuse to stay home in your footie pajamas and no one will question you. Of course, this is also the time of year when you'll likely really get the flu and your cutie will end up needing to wear a surgical mask to get within fifteen feet of you.

By January, I've usually decided I want to bring a Saint Bernard with one of those little liquor barrel collars everywhere I go. But like always, just as we're all about to go stir crazy, the snow banks turn to mud puddles and the wind starts to smell like dirt, a sure sign of Spring. This season belongs to the 'birds and bees.' So maybe Spring is the sexiest season.

In the meantime, here are my top 10 sexiest things about winter: (in no particular order)

  1. Mistletoe.
  2. Getting snowed in with your honey and a bottle of wine (or two)!
  3. Turning up the furnace and lounging around in your Roos.
  4. Going for a brisk walk in the cold for that naturally rosy cheek look. (Just beware of snotsicles.)
  5. Little sweater dresses.
  6. Hot chocolate with Bailey's.
  7. Being a snow bunny.
  8. Using the cold as an ideal excuse to get closer to someone.
  9. Vacations to Mexico.
  10. Getting to wear your winter wardrobe after six months. (I love coats and scarves!)

Talkbacks

swoakes | Dec. 7, 2010 at 11:36 a.m. (report)

AAA? HAAAAAA. Someone call roadside assistance because Sarah Foster enjoys wine. Ha.

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jjn742 | Dec. 6, 2010 at 9:47 a.m. (report)

She needs to go to AAA? Not sure what drinking alone has to do with car insurance or roadside assistance... And also, coming from a guy, you're right, we're generally not that particular about what a girl's wearing out - especially in the dead of winter. But, if a girl makes the effort and risks it out in a dress and 5-inch heels, I'll probably pay a little extra attention to her instead of the girl in the sweatshirt and running shoes. Maybe that's just me...

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THE_Guru | Dec. 4, 2010 at 5:52 p.m. (report)

OMG (awesome female vocal saying)......here we go again. Lets be NEGATIVE about winter. If you don't like winter in the north, then move to a warmer climate hon. Maybe you'll find a job there. Now....lets see what you should do. #1. Your choice to dress with less with the 3-inch heels. Remember a majority of the time females dress for each other, not the guys. WE DONT CARE. You can dress smartly and still be warm. #2. Guys will snuggle for a brief period of time...usually after servicing you so you won't feel used. Although you use us to satisify your inner being. #3. Frostbite is serious. Your choice if you like to lose fingers or toes while us men are warm. and #4. You shouldn't drink alone dear........please go to AAA. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year in your lonely abode with your blankeeeee.

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