Social Circle: Should you stay Facebook friends with an ex?
The "Social Circle" is a group effort between readers, social networkers and the OnMilwaukee.com editors. Every Monday, we ask a question via Facebook and Twitter and then post the responses from our Facebook "likers" and Twitter followers in this column. Well-known Milwaukee movers and shakers will contribute, too.
After you break up with someone, is staying friends on Facebook a good idea? For some, it's a great way to stay in touch. For others, it's torture.
Really, it depends on the nature of the relationship and the breakup. However, some members of the Social Circle have very strong opinions one way or the other. Here are some of their responses.
To join the Social Circle, "like" OnMilwaukee on Facebook and you'll have the opportunity to respond to the question every week, too. Or, as always, you can add your input via the Talkback feature.
Sarah Berg: "Depends on the breakup and how long it's been. And then there are some breakups that are for the best, so not only Facebook is out but so is any other form of communication."
Brian Brehmer: "No, unless you don't understand that ex = past and have no desire to head for something better in the present, something with a future."
Rick Charlie: "If both wanted out, yeah. Otherwise, no way!"
Marian Webster Denning: "Children involved, absolutely. Abusive relationship? No."
Dan Franke: "I always think it's weird when people are not friends with their exes. I usually think it's a red flag about getting into a relationship with that person. I'm Facebook friends with at least three ex-girlfriends – maybe others that don't post very often."
Boyd Frederick: "Depends if it's an ex-girlfriend or an ex-wife."
Dede Gales: "I tried but eventually I had to unfriend him as I stayed annoyed at his stats. In order for us to remain friends it was for the best."
Peter Hable: "Necessary in order to see when you can start 'catching up.'"
Mark Hill: "No. Never."
Katharina Hren: "I think it depends on how long ago the relationship ended and how dead the old issues are. I'm Facebook friends with a couple of ex-boyfriends, even some that I only went out with once or twice, and yet there was one I had to unfriend twice. Why be friends of any kind with someone who keeps trying to push your buttons?"
Sherwin Hughes: "It's just like money in the bank to be used on a rainy day."
Larry Johnson: "Ah, nope. Bad idea. Bury the love, bury the shovel."
Paul Kennedy: "That's what Friendster is for."
Paul J. Kloster: "If you left on good terms, yes. If not, no can do."
Erin Shea Linnane: "Depends on the situation / break up. My ex and his girlfriend are both my FB friends. We often travel together – with my husband – when we visit our daughter in Minnesota."
Kathy Nichols: "It depends on how things ended."
Buzz Noyes: "It's fine after 25 years and three grandchildren, but no sooner."
Mike Palmisano: "Check on the gallon of milk in the refrigerator that's been there a month. If it's sour, check on it in another month and see if it improves."
Dax Phillips: "I say no way, regardless of a positive or negative breakup."
Donna Reed: "Eff no."
Carole Kramer Ross: "NO!"
Andrew Rubin: "Depends on how it ended. I have a few that are fine, it's good to see how they are doing, we chat once in a while. I have a few that I thought was kind of odd for them to friend me, but OK, don't really interact with them much but I see their posts. Then I have a few that are seven shades of crazy, and I would never, ever want to be FB friends with them."
Jen Skladanek: "Depends on the nature of the breakup. Or the heart strings involved with both persons. I have exes as FB friends aside from one person in particular that for my own self-preservation I am not FB friends with. We had our time and now it's done."
Don Sefton: "I think that it depends if you have a good relationship with the person. If not, or uncomfortable issues, delete the 'friendship.'"
Lauryl Sulfate: "Depends on the ex. I am very good friends with some of my exes. Some of them I never talked to again after we broke up."
Tami Yoghourtjian-Scheehle: "My ex-husband and I are still the best of friends on or off FB. Just because we weren't a good couple we were and are still great friends."
Patty Zastrow-Jankowski: "That would be a great question for my ex – also my baby daddy – who dropped me as a FB friend. Funny, his kids from another relationship are all friends with me."
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