I've always been of the belief that the more you know about the opposite sex the better off you are at figuring out their thought process. I'm not a regular reader of Askmen.com, but from time to time I stop by to see what's new in the minds of men.

The site is full of the manliest of things: tips on grilling, beer, dating and, of course, tons of near nude pics of hot chicks. Hey! Focus! The nude chick pics will still be there in a minute. Men also seem to be huge fans of the top ten lists and as I was clicking through ‘Top Ten Shameless Male Crying Displays' and ‘Top Ten Ways to Impress Her Mom,' I stumbled on a classic from early last year, ‘Top Ten Subtle Ways to Tell Her She's Getting Fat.' Oooo! And just in time for swimsuit season! Just like a train wreck, I wanted desperately to look away but I couldn't. I had to know more.

The ideas range from putting out ‘then and now' photos so she can compare and contrast her looks to actually dismantling her chair so it crumbles beneath her when she sits down. Are you kidding me?! This was not the insider look to the male brain I was hoping for.

Item No. 7 suggests serving your girlfriend ‘unsatisfactory serving sizes' so she eats less due to the fact that she'll be too embarrassed to ask for seconds because, of course, then she'll look like a fatty. However, you can sneak back for seconds ‘when she's not looking.' Oh yeah, Slim, go ahead have a second helping. Let's hope she doesn't notice the spare tire sneaking over the top of your jeans.

Guys, really? If your girlfriend has put on some weight since you've been together and by some weight I mean between 5-15 pounds, you need to chill out about it, not try to starve her into submission or just make her feel so bad about herself that she loses the weight because you shamed her into an eating disorder.

Here's an idea; use positive reinforcement! How about you tell her how insanely hot she looks when she gets home from a workout. You'll make her feel like a Victoria's Secret model. Encourage her to hit the gym and you might get some action too. It's a win, win, win!

Sure, there are supposedly men and women out there that can eat whatever they want, not work out and still never gain weight and, of course, we all hate them. The majority of us, however, have to strike the balance every day between food and exercise and it's not always easy, but it is real life. When you're in a relationship you can develop the tendency to eat similar portions. You go out and both order a burger or a sandwich. You make dinner and both serve up similar portions. It's an easy trip up as you become more comfortable in your relationship.

Surprisingly, some, alright two, of the ideas were really good. ‘No. 8: Set Out On Your Own Weight Loss Plan' and ‘No. 6: Improve Your Own Diet' are both great ideas for yourself and if you want to encourage your Love to get healthy. So go ahead, turn it into your issue (clearly that's what it is anyway.) Tell her you want to eat healthier and get into a better workout routine and ask if she'd like to make it a team effort. That's the best, kindest, subtlest way to say, ‘I want you to be happy and healthy and I'm willing to work for it too.' Not, ‘you look like you could lose a few pounds so I bought you these jeans that are three sizes too small. Hint, hint.'

Tons of weight gain is one thing because bottom line, it's terrible for your health and when you care about someone you want them to be as healthy as possible. But to start purposely making someone feel like crap because they've put on a few pounds is ridiculous and, likely, really counter productive. You're making her feel terrible and you look like a complete jackass in the process. Grabbing little parts of her body that you think she should slim down isn't a good way to get her to lose weight. It is however a really good way to get a slap in the face.

Oh, and, by the way, if all of that wasn't enough reason, women that don't feel confident about their bodies aren't going to be all that comfortable letting loose in the bedroom. So if you want her lying there like a dead fish, refusing to get naked in anything but pitch blackness or hiding under the sheets trying to cover all the parts YOU made her feel bad about then by all means pinch her love handles, break her chairs and display unflattering photos of her. You'll be lucky if you ever get laid again and you can thank Askmen.com for that.

My suggestion, if you feel like your lady is letting herself go as of late, is to take items 8 and 6 and run with them. Literally. If you can't pony up and put in some effort then stop griping to her about it. Unless you're Josh Holloway, and you aren't, you could probably use some improvements yourself. There are probably things about you that your girlfriend would love to change. She's just not going to dismantle furniture to get her point across.

Use your brain. When you truly care about someone you don't purposely point out their flaws or try to make them feel bad about their looks. Wanting to help someone improve a part of their life doesn't mean criticizing them until they submit to your grand plan. If you love this woman, then make her feel like you're on her team, ready to encourage and participate.

Here's the alternative. She recognizes your not so subtle tactics to get her to lose weight and, on top of it, that you're a completely self-centered, shallow creep. She dumps your loser butt and finds a guy that makes her feel great about herself, which by the way, leads to, when you feel good, you look good and vice versa. After the stuff you pulled she's not going to give you or your cheese fries the time of day.