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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2014

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Try to remember everybody that looks at adult sites is not addicted to cyber sex.
Try to remember everybody that looks at adult sites is not addicted to cyber sex. (Photo: shutterstock.com)

Love, porn, women and the Internet

Whoever came up with the saying, "You can never have too much of a good thing," obviously had never been on the Internet.

In all of its glory, the Web has many addictive qualities to it. From its anonymity and endless outlets for just about any and every fantasy and desire known, its alluring appeal can be difficult to ignore. The Internet obviously is not just for the guys anymore; the ladies have also taken quite a liking to it. Along with all of its amazing and useful qualities follow the dangerous ploys of temptation, lust and even love.

Women do tend to use the Internet differently for sexual curiosity/ satisfaction than men, but not as different as many may think. In 2011, research showed that one out of every three people that visited an adult site was a woman. 17 percent of women are addicted to porn, 13 percent of women look at porn while at work and 70 percent keep their online behaviors a secret. Now, take that 70 percent and think about all of the women that are on dating sites, in chat rooms and writing/answering Craigslist’s ads.

When it comes to hooking up or finding love online, women obviously look at it differently than men, but they do share the same problematic online sexual behavior.

  1. Addictive or compulsive preoccupation
  2. Feelings of betrayal/guilt when engaging in cyber sex or other online sexual behavior when in a relationship and
  3. Engaging in unwanted sexual encounters (i.e. harassment, solicitation, or face-to-face encounters that go wrong). Women can also get more emotionally involved than men, and that can lead to deeper addictions, betrayals and unwanted encounters.

Try to remember not everybody that looks at adult sites is addicted to cyber sex. The Internet can be a very healthy way to express your sexual desires and communicate with people that share the same interests. There are many secure forums, webcam sites and chat rooms that can be a lot fun.

It is important to be able to know the difference between a real relationship and an online encounter, and when some playful fun can get out of hand.

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