According to some fundamentalists, this Saturday is the beginning of the end of the world.
Well, I'd argue the beginning of the end started a long time ago. Like when "American Idol" debuted.
But seriously, this weekend should be a good dry run for the wider group of conspiracy theorists who think the world will end in December 2012. That nonsense should make Y2K paranoia look like, well, Y2K reality.
Obviously, I don't believe doomsday is coming either on Saturday or next year, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that this hoopla has given me the tiniest bit of pause. After all, I don't want the world to end. I like the world. I like living. I'd like to see the Brewers someday win the World Series, too.
Selfishly, considering how much I make fun of people who preach the coming of the apocalypse, I would certainly be one of the poor suckers who doesn't get raptured up to heaven (or whatever is supposed to happen).
According to these soothsayers, the end of the world will actually take five months. If they're right, don't count on any more blogs from me. I'll be spending the days until Oct. 21 doing something cool, that's for sure.
Work, truly, will be for jerks.
But again, seriously, or at least as seriously as I can take any of this, it hurts my brain to ponder the end of the world. What happens to the astronauts on the space station? Are they let off the hook?
And really (for real this time), would I be content if my time was up? Yes and no. While I turn 37 at the end of the month, I've already lived a wonderful and privileged life, rich with experiences and adventures. But no, there's a lot more I want to do before some asteroid comes crashing into Earth.
Most importantly, though, like all parents, it's really not about me anymore, anyway. I don't want the world to end because I want my daughter to have a long and great life.
So there. That's my serious answer to a ridiculous question. That's what I'll be doing on Saturday: briefly contemplating, then making a few jokes, then moving on. I'm 99.9 percent sure the world will still be here on Sunday morning, and I plan on tweeting and joking about it basically non-stop until this non event comes and goes.
But joking aside, these kind of prophecies remind me that my real purpose in life isn't just to live, but it's to make the world a better place for our children.
And, when I think about it like that, these ridiculous prophecies are another reminder that we've all got a lot of work to do, and a limited time in which to do it. Let's get cracking.
While I definitely do not support Mr. Camping's predictions, and I do love the life I have here on earth, and I want my kids to have a wonderful, long life here too...I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there will be a Rapture of believers someday, no one knows when, no one can accurately predict when, but it IS going to happen and you can be prepared for it. John 3:16. Life, after the Rapture, for those who truly believe what that verse says, is going to be more wonderful than our simple minds can comprehend.
I have about 5 restaurant gift certificates and I'm going to start using them around 4PM today...and use them all up before midnight...hopefully the rapture will still be able to lift me to the heavens above.
happy prelated birthday, Milly
and don't worry about the Rapture happening this week, next week, or any time during this year or 2012. We aren't going to have any biblical episodes up until September 13, 2015.
Milly | May 18, 2011 at 4:03 p.m. (report)
Sunday is my birthday, so if I wake up, and there is still a world, I'm gonna have two reasons to celebrate! I also plan to play the Blondie song "Rapture" at some point this weekend. Might even get crazy and post a link to the video on my Facebook page.
4 comments about this article.
Post your comment/review now
Disclaimer: Please note that Facebook comments are posted through Facebook and cannot be approved, edited or declined by OnMilwaukee.com. The opinions expressed in Facebook comments do not necessarily reflect those of OnMilwaukee.com or its staff.
Recent Articles & Blogs by Andy Tarnoff
Published April 10, 2014
Whether you support the e-cigarette industry or not, one thing is indisputable: it's a phenomenon that's growing rapidly. And while the companies that produce cigarette alternatives are based all over the world, one exists right in Milwaukee's own backyard. Hartland's Johnson Creek Enterprises, which makes Johnson Creek Smoke Juice, has quietly grown to an $8 million business and is expanding rapidly.
Published April 8, 2014
It's hard to believe that the classic baseball comedy, "Major League," is 25 years old. Filmed largely in Milwaukee, everyone here of a "certain age" seems to have a story to tell about the making of the movie.
Published April 7, 2014
Jason Gorman, the chef most Milwaukeeans know from his time at Dream Dance and Iron Horse Hotel, is returning to Wisconsin to Kenosha's newly remodeled Mangia Wine Bar.
Published April 5, 2014
I wanted to see the hubbub first-hand, so I joined the throngs of crowds checking out the brand new Mayfair Collection today. The parking lot was packed, but the two stores I visited weren't too chaotic. And once things settle down a bit, I'm sure I'll be back.
Published March 31, 2014
Opening Day has always been a special day for me. It was 16 years ago, on April 7, 1998 that I celebrated my first day of self employment (and the birth of OnMilwaukee.com) at County Stadium. I haven't missed many since then.
Published March 24, 2014
In an industry where positioning a brand as retro vintage is suddenly new and trendy, Milwaukee's Lucky Tiger doesn't even need to even try. Trademarked in Kansas City in 1935, the iconic men's brand actually stretches back to a barber shop from the 1920s, when it was a very large line of tonics and hair products.
Published March 18, 2014
And just like that, the trip is over. The one that I spend 360 days a year daydreaming about. The one that almost didn't happen. On one hand, it feels like we just got here. On the other hand, when I look at myself in the mirror right now, it feels like I've been here for a month.
Published March 17, 2014
When I last left off, it was Saturday night in the desert and we were starving. After a little pool time at the Camelback Inn, we headed to Old Town Scottsdale to see what awaited us.
Published March 15, 2014
When I left off last night, we were heading out to dinner, our first actual meal of this year's spring training trip. It's really been a great 24 hours in the Valley of the Sun, and we're all now in full-on Cactus League mode.
Published March 14, 2014
After 15 years of consecutive Brewers spring training trips, this one almost didn't happen. My tradition of fleeing the Milwaukee winter and heading to Arizona to watch the Crew tune up for the regular season pre-dates the creation of OnMilwaukee.com by one month. It's a working vacation that I cherish, a time for rejuvenation and renewal when I hear that first crack of the bat.