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Too much information, Rihanna.
Too much information, Rihanna.

Four songs I hate right now

My iPod adapter is busted, and, consequently, I'm listening to too much radio. Here are four songs that I'm hating on right now:

"Wide Awake" by Katy Perry – I don’t actually hate the song, per se. Perry’s contralto vocals are strong on the track, although I will say I’ve yet to see them sound as pure in a live performance. But I just hate, hate, hate, hate, hate it when singers write a song about overcoming the adversity of an awful relationship immediately after a break-up. It just sounds like a lot of blah, blah, blah to me. Let that misery marinate for a hot minute. Then it can be good art. Otherwise, it’s just a half-drunk Facebook status update. 

"Payphone" by Maroon 5 – I don’t even know, guys. I feel like every Maroon 5 song sounds the same, and I don’t really like any of them. There’s no great explanation for it. Adam Levine’s falsetto sounds a little whiny to me, and I don’t understand why he sings with a Southern accent when he’s from Los Angeles. And I heard his digits were in Paris Hilton’s phone when it got hacked back in 2005, and now that’s all I can think of when I hear his voice. I will say, however, that I think Whiz Khalifa’s rap verse is pretty great. 

"Want U Back" by Cher Lloyd – First of all, if your name is Cher and you want to be a singer, change it. We’ve already got a Cher, thank you very much, and she’s been evil-diva-awesome since way before your mama got knocked up. Secondly, I don’t like "mean girl" songs. I’ve had enough of them. I hated Avril Lavigne’s "Girlfriend," and I hate this song, too. It’s whiny and it’s girl-against-girl. 

"Where Have You Been" by Rihanna – If I wanted to hear this much about your sex life, Rihanna, I would be one of your girlfriends. I’m not – probably for reasons other than that, but that’s irrelevant right now. As for the lyrics: I call foul on just repeating the same line over and over again. I have no problems with the video, which I think is hilarious. In one scene Rihanna is lurking around in a bog like a really pretty version of "Swamp Thing;" the next she's breaking it down in a desert that looks like the set of that really bad "10,000 BC" movie.

Talkbacks

melkiper | Aug. 16, 2012 at 8:05 a.m. (report)

Brilliant. I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't stand these songs. I seriously couldn't tell you the difference between a Katy Perry song, K$sha, et al. Good luck getting your iPod fixed pronto!

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