There's a little phenomenon on Facebook called the "Poke." Simply put, you click your mouse on the "poke" link and, voilà, you can virtually jab anyone you're stalking ... err ... I mean... friends with on Facebook. It's that simple, and that dumb. Ramming your virtual finger into their virtual ribcage is supposed to be fun, and supposed to get their attention.

Without a doubt, it's the most worthless P.O.S. Web site functionality I have ever seen.

Also, my eighth grade sense of humor is very strongly trying to dictate this post, just an FYI.

Recently I was challenged to a "poking war" by a few of my friends. It's absurd, and childish and the only reason I obliged is because I'm a competitor through and through, and I will win. Win what? Nothing at all. I will just win. I will be the better poker.

One day, I noticed a strange poke sitting on my Facebook wall. A poke from someone I am not a friend with. Hell, I don't even know this person. Why? Why are you poking me? You don't know me. You are not allowed to poke me. You keep you poker to yourself.

This just intensified my hatred for the "poke." This useless button that has no value, entertains so many, and allows creepers to stick themselves on your Facebook wall.

There's an unwritten rule here people – don't poke those you don't know.

Moral of the story: If you value your virtual phalanges, kindly think twice before sticking them in my ribs.

Now it's your turn – do you have rules for poking on Facebook, and if so what are they? Do you poke random strangers? Talkback below or tweet me – I'm @bootyp.