In everyday life and especially when faced with the abundance of social activity the holidays and New Year’s brings, I sometimes premeditate conversations. Meaning, if I know I am going to be face-to-face in a social situation with a certain person, I sometimes script what I am going to chat about with them.
I consider it a sort of premonition, but whatever you want to call it, it sometimes goes so far as me drafting soliloquies and hearing my dialog partner’s response.
The last exchange I fantasized had to do with my new passion for painting. I was asking an experienced oil painter their opinion and advice on the medium. The imaginary exchange culminated with me asking her if she thought it mattered if one was "good" at painting in order to pursue it.
Which brings me to this page and this discussion with you.
Is being "good" at something what makes it worth doing? Do you have to be "good" at something to enjoy it, to pursue it either as a hobby or professionally or to declare you "do" it?
I run into this issue a lot. I discover that if I am not almost instantaneously "good" at something I undertake, whether in my leisure life or work world, I tend to let it go and move on to the next thing. Putting these words on paper makes me see the tragedy in this on a multitude of levels.
I seem have this programmed, pre-conceived notion – a personal, self-rule of sorts – that dictates that in order for me to "do" something (and I suppose to enjoy it) I have to have an immediate proficiency with it.
The ludicrous nature of this is not lost on me as I watch the characters form the words in black type on white page in Microsoft Word.
It disappoints me that no matter how many strides I move forward in self-acceptance, there is still a trail of hypercritical thoughts in my wake. I realize I need to let go of this unhealthy habit and refocus on the process, not on the outcome or my personally perceived skill level.
Which brings us around to good old New…Read more...