And now, in stunning revelations …
I do read your "talkbacks" and your Facebook posts.
I was actually floored that it took so long – almost 36 hours to get a comment on my "Open letter to Brett Favre" that included a suggestion to use texting as a preferred mode of communication with the former Packers quarterback.
Now, we all know what that’s about, right?
In case you don’t, Mr. Favre’s intimate self-portrait of a smaller (this is of course, both subjective and relative) appendage he sent as a text (sext) to some lady made a little more Internet news than the guns he has on display in his current online photos.
My husband (God love him for having any sense of humor about the smut I type) was actually the first to throw that clever texting zinger in my face upon my traditional pre-submit read aloud to him. My response to which, was an involuntary "ewwwww-ick" accompanied by a little vomit in my mouth.
Because I always feel the need to be precise and clarify, I’m strictly referring to the sending of sexy images via text here – specifically "dick pics." I am not talking about relationships or even real life physical interaction, just that very incriminating photo of male genitalia that seems to always be a bad idea for the owners of the offending attachment.
Why is it a bad idea? Don’t all shout at once, but not only will that image inevitably come back to haunt you in some way personally or professionally, but in my very humble opinion, I just don’t think that most recipients of these gifts really assume the intended emotion or desired result of theses tell-all texts.
Ladies especially, I don’t know if you are with me on this one, but it’s not the isolated image of a penis I find hot or sexually titillating when I see a photograph of a scantily clad or nude male. If I’m going to be visually aroused – I need to see more than just that.
I have an even more difficult time entertaining warm and fuzzy feelings when the body is decapitated by mode of cropping in an oddly angled "selfie" or the "member" in question is somehow floating, displayed in a violent grip or is the very centerpiece of the composition. It just takes a little more than that for me.
Perhaps it’s that old "men are more visually stimulated than women" thing, but I don’t think that excuse really hits the nail on any sort of head. For me, I believe it has more to do with wanting to see the whole package.
I am an admirer of the beauty of both the male and female physique. I find attractiveness in both curves and vascularity. I know the hard work and dedication that goes into displaying this sort of lean shredded physique; hence my applause for what Brett’s got going on right now.
Shirtless? Sexy. Full frontal? I’ll pass.
No Talkbacks for this article.
Post your comment/review now
Disclaimer: Please note that Facebook comments are posted through Facebook and cannot be approved, edited or declined by OnMilwaukee.com. The opinions expressed in Facebook comments do not necessarily reflect those of OnMilwaukee.com or its staff.
Recent Articles & Blogs by Lindsay Garric
Published March 26, 2015
Lindsay Garric chats with jazz pianist Andy Milne about his band Dapp Theory, the details of his Shatner collaboration, Milwaukee's vegetarian culinary fare and more. Dapp Theory gigs at the Jazz Estate on Friday, March 27.
Published March 18, 2015
The question of weather a dog can actually be mentally ill is a controversial topic in veterinary medicine, but one that blogger Lindsay Garric asks anyway.
Published March 2, 2015
There are some things that no human, no matter how much grace, patience or tolerance they possess can abide. There are some things that get the goat of even the Mother Theresa of airline passengers.
Published Feb. 19, 2015
Jazz and youth are not mutually exclusive. Twenty-six-year-old jazz trumpeter and Wisconsin native, Paul Dietrich, is proof of that.
Published Feb. 5, 2015
I will embarrassingly admit that I started this piece a while back, saved it and then never even recalled its creation or need for completion until I was opening another document and stumbled upon "Blog Memory."
Published Jan. 8, 2015
I'm going to tell you how I really feel and then, I'm going to actually do something about it
Published Nov. 24, 2014
For families dealing with childhood cancer, the moments captured by photographers like Whitefish Bay's Ellen Cook through the organization Flashes of Hope at in-hospital photo shoots provide forever precious memories. Cook is hosting a benefit for the program on Sunday, Dec. 7.
Published Nov. 12, 2014
It's a given that this time of year includes an inevitable packing on of the pounds, but I am certain this is not just happening from a single meal at Thanksgiving or one Christmas dinner.
Published Oct. 27, 2014
What exactly is a longboard? Well, it sure looks like a skateboard. But, it's longer and wider with larger wheels.
Published Oct. 9, 2014
Lindsay Garric reports on what it's like for a caffeine lover to go a month without drinking coffee.