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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Monday, Sept. 1, 2014

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Words, words, words.
Words, words, words.

My favorite words

Today, I posted an article about a woman who created a website, Wordnik.com, dedicated to peoples' favorite words and their meanings. This inspired me. So here are my favorite words. What are yours?

1.    Curlicue
2.    Lozenge
3.    Luxury
4.    Clandestine
5.    Brouhaha
6.    Lascivious
7.    Beer garden
8.    Fandango
9.    Paradigm
10.    Glockenspiel
11.    Schmaltz
12.    Ampersand
13.    Ethereal
14.    Gorgonzola
15.    Accoutrement
16.    Oxymoron
17.   Cacophony
18.    Coagulate
19.    Pith / pithy
20.    Tintinnabulous
21.     Widdershins
22.    Akimbo
23.    Onomatopoeia
24.    Melancholia
25.    Katmandu

Oy, there are so many more …

Girl Globetrotter Fatima "TNT" Maddox leads the "YMCA." Um, yeah, my kid is clueless.
Girl Globetrotter Fatima "TNT" Maddox leads the "YMCA." Um, yeah, my kid is clueless.

Five signs I have failed as a parent

I always knew there were blind spots in my parenting scope, but lately, they have been extremely visible. I just hope there are plenty of sensitive, inquisitive young folks out there who are going to make fine future therapists because my kid's gonna need one.

Here are five things that happened recently that suggest my parenting license should be revoked:

1. My son was invited on court with the Harlem Globetrotters to do the "YMCA" dance and he did not know how to do it. Where are my priorities? Didn't I coin the phrase "It Takes The Village People To Raise A Child?" And didn't I work at the YMCA for 12 years?

2. He is 8 and still thinks words like "appropriated" (as a synonym for "suitable") and "unihorn" exist because I do not correct him. That's right, I am holding on to the last shreds of his baby-ness like the selfish maternal figure that I am. And "unihorn" is more accurate anyway. The magical horse has one horn, not one corn, right?

3. He's in a latch hook club. With me. That I started. What is wrong with me? I must have the locker picked out that I want him to be stuffed into someday when he's 13 and someone finds out he is or was in a latch hook club with his mother. What next? A Happy Hands Dance Club with his dad?

4. He put his jeans on backwards today and did not notice. As much as I would like to think of this as fashion forward, it's most likely more in the "fashion failure" category. Why would anyone accept a butt zipper?

5. He wants to be a "computer writer" someday and write articles about Milwaukee.

Kalahari is fun for all ages.
Kalahari is fun for all ages.

Kalahari renovates, invigorates

All of the Wisconsin Dells' water parks have their individual charms, but I've always appreciated the Kalahari Resorts because all of it's under one roof. It just makes the experience easier, specifically in the wintertime, when we don't have to travel from building to building with wet heads.

"We have always been committed to being under one roof," says Daylene Stroebe, who has served as Kalahari's general manager for 10 years. "People told us they feel safe letting their older children walk around on their own."

Recently, Kalahari renovated again, and added three new water slides that required workers to, literally, raise the roof to accommodate. Two of the slides are the first indoor Super Loops in the country. All three of the new slides have a 60-foot drop and riders zoom at speeds up to 25 m.p.h.

I went on all of them and they are pretty nuts. They rank in high thrills with the Master Blaster, a roller-coaster-like water slide and the Tanzania Twister, which we call "the toilet bowl." I never went to water parks before I had kids, and never understood why other adults I knew did, but now I get it. A good water park offers experiences for all age groups, including adventuresome adults.

My kids were too old to get into it, but Kalahari also recently unveiled a new Kid's Play Zone for little water lovers. It's super cute and revolves around a character, Tiko the Elephant. Years ago, I would have really appreciated the layout, which has lots of room for parents to hang out right next to the slides as well as double-wide slides so parents can actually slide next to them.

The Kids' Play Zone also has it's own mini lazy river with little inner tubes. All of the amenities for the Play Zone came from parents' and kids' recommendations.

It had been a few years since we last visited the Kalahari, so the indoor theme park was new to us, too. We splurged on the wristbands ($9.95 for kids 6 and under; $19.95 for kids 7 and older) and in doing so they had unlimited acc…

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Wingstop has a new West Milwaukee location.
Wingstop has a new West Milwaukee location.

Updated: Wingstop lands in Milwaukee

Wingstop, a national franchise with 500 restaurants including one each in Kenosha and Madison, opened at 2086 S. Miller Pkwy. in West Milwaukee on Dec. 28.

Wingstop offers chicken wings in nine flavors, including atomic, Cajun, hot, mild, hickory smoked BBQ, lemon pepper, garlic Parmesan, Hawaiian and teriyaki. They also serve chicken strips and "Gliders" (like sliders).

Kurt Hodermann, a Brookfield resident who also owns seven Subway restaurants, plans to open three more Wingstops in the Milwaukee area in the future.

Tonight, I bought a couple of orders of wings my 9-year-old kid (and his brother), who is a connoisseur of wings. We got 10 regular wings without bones and 10 hickory smoked barbeque with bones. (He'll be eating them for breakfast, too).

The wings were really good. They were tender, not too fatty and flavorful. My sons only complaint was I didn't get "hot wings." I am always leery to get him spicy wings, but I should know better by now. He loves them. He puts Sriracha on corn and mac 'n' cheese.

He liked the BBQ wings the best, claiming they had the most flavor and that the chicken was "more real" on the bone rather than the boneless in a "McNugget" shape. I do not know if the boneless chicken is more or less processed than the chicken on the bone, but I thought it was a potentially valid observation.

All in all, for fast-food wings from a chain, Wingstop wings are really good. Next time we might try the sliders, too.