I kept a log of my recent favorite kid sayings and thought I’d share. No, they haven’t been swearing at Beans & Barley lately, but they’ve managed to offer up a few amusing statements. I’m sure your kids are equally as humorous, so feel free to add your kids’ funny commentary via the Talkback feature.

1. My son lost his front two teeth last December, and by spring he got his adult teeth. A few times, he asked friends or family members, "Hey, did you see my new teeth yet? They work better than the old ones."

2. Our doctor walked into the check-up room and my son said, "You look a lot older than the last time I saw you." I tried to appreciate the purity of their little honest remarks when he told me, about a month ago, "You look ugly when you wake up."

3. For a few weeks, my boys’ favorite expression was "poop fat." I think they made it up, but I’m not certain. In any case, they were creative with their usage of it. They used it as an insult, "You’re a poop fat!" As a noun, "Is that poop fat on my plate, Mom?" And even as a term of endearment, "I love you, poop fat." One day, the expression just went away, and now I kind of miss it.

4. My 6-year-old likes to ask questions that start with, "What would you do if ..." These questions can be as lighthearted as, "What would do you do if the grocery store only sold candy?" to the totally ridiculous yet unsettling, "What would you do if a zombie chopped me up into a thousand pieces?"

5. Lately, I have heard a lot of my own expressions coming out of their mouths, which is both scary and funny. My 5-year-old started a sentence with, "You know, I’m not a big fan of ..." which is something I often say but never noticed until I heard him say it. Hearing him say that inspired me to say something more positive, so yesterday I said, "I’m a big fan of riding my bike," and my kid said, "Unless you fall off your bike and die." I wanted to say, "No, not a big fan of falling from moving vehicles to my death," but out of respect for my attempt at optimism, I just nodded.