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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2014

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This says "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," "Joyful Hanukkah," "Woo Hoo Festivus" and "Kwanzaa Is Kool" all in one.
This says "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," "Joyful Hanukkah," "Woo Hoo Festivus" and "Kwanzaa Is Kool" all in one.

A solution to the "Happy Holidays / Merry Christmas" debate

Like so many issues, I don't think we're going to come to a universal agreement about whether or not we should wish each other "happy holidays," "Merry Christmas" or some secular hybrid of pine-smelling platitudes.

Perhaps we need to move beyond words with this one. Words, after all, seem to be problematic. Confining. Unable to express what we want to say and how we want to say it. So instead, I suggest December chest bumps, high fives or a universal hand symbol that simply means "it is between Thanksgiving and New Years and I am acknowledging your existence."

Although I'd like to see more chest bumping on a daily basis in December, and I've always been a bit of a high fiver, I'm leaning towards the universal hand symbol. At first thought, the two finger peace sign seems like it could moonlight from it's usual job as a '60s symbol and work overtime as the hand's holiday hello, but then again, the peace symbol has a liberal stigma to it. I think we need something entirely new. (Oh, and the middle finger is too Scrooge-ish).

So talk amongst yourselves, figure something out that might work for the human race, and get back to me. And if we can't decide as a planet, let's just go with Milwaukee designer and business owner Fred Gillich's "Too Much Rock For One Hand" symbol, K?

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