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Warning: potentially annoying "cute things my kids said lately" blog. You might want to stop reading right now ...
Warning: potentially annoying "cute things my kids said lately" blog. You might want to stop reading right now ...

From the mouths of babes

I kept a log of my recent favorite kid sayings and thought I’d share. No, they haven’t been swearing at Beans & Barley lately, but they’ve managed to offer up a few amusing statements. I’m sure your kids are equally as humorous, so feel free to add your kids’ funny commentary via the Talkback feature.

1. My son lost his front two teeth last December, and by spring he got his adult teeth. A few times, he asked friends or family members, "Hey, did you see my new teeth yet? They work better than the old ones."

2. Our doctor walked into the check-up room and my son said, "You look a lot older than the last time I saw you." I tried to appreciate the purity of their little honest remarks when he told me, about a month ago, "You look ugly when you wake up."

3. For a few weeks, my boys’ favorite expression was "poop fat." I think they made it up, but I’m not certain. In any case, they were creative with their usage of it. They used it as an insult, "You’re a poop fat!" As a noun, "Is that poop fat on my plate, Mom?" And even as a term of endearment, "I love you, poop fat." One day, the expression just went away, and now I kind of miss it.

4. My 6-year-old likes to ask questions that start with, "What would you do if ..." These questions can be as lighthearted as, "What would do you do if the grocery store only sold candy?" to the totally ridiculous yet unsettling, "What would you do if a zombie chopped me up into a thousand pieces?"

5. Lately, I have heard a lot of my own expressions coming out of their mouths, which is both scary and funny. My 5-year-old started a sentence with, "You know, I’m not a big fan of ..." which is something I often say but never noticed until I heard him say it. Hearing him say that inspired me to say something more positive, so yesterday I said, "I’m a big fan of riding my bike," and my kid said, "Unless you fall off your bike and die." I wanted to say, "No, not a big fan of falling from moving vehicle…

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Me and Fonzie having a deep, meaningful conversation.
Me and Fonzie having a deep, meaningful conversation.

Pose with the Bronze Fonz, get a free beer

I have mixed feelings about the Bronze Fonz, but for the most part, I find the statue kitschy, fun and very Milwaukee. Last spring, OnMilwaukee.com posted its traditional April Fools’ Day edition featuring dozens of satirical articles, and for one of them, I conducted an interview with the Bronze Fonz. (He was rather quiet that day.)

So, when I heard that Palomino is hosting a "Franz & Fonz" promotion through the end of the month, I knew I had to write about it.

Here’s the deal: Anytime this month, bring in a photo of yourself with the Bronze Fonz (the statue is on the Riverwalk, just south of Wells Street) and you’ll receive a free Franziskaner, which is a Bavarian beer.

The photos will be on display at the bar and the Palomino staff will pick the best one. The winner will recieve a $75 gift card to Best Buy and, of course, life-long bragging rights.

We added a new word every day, for about a week.
We added a new word every day, for about a week. (Photo: Karen Parr)
The sunflower sprouts, inside their protective PVC containers, after about a month.
The sunflower sprouts, inside their protective PVC containers, after about a month. (Photo: Karen Parr)
The sign that invited friends and neighbors to join us for a gathering to celebrate the project. We served wine and sunflower seeds.
The sign that invited friends and neighbors to join us for a gathering to celebrate the project. We served wine and sunflower seeds. (Photo: Karen Parr)
Paper cups served as our medium to construct the words.
Paper cups served as our medium to construct the words. (Photo: Karen Parr)

The Sunflower Project

Nobody said we could plant sunflowers around the toxic brown space, but no one said couldn't either. So, last May, six Riverwest families, all of whom were responding to an e-mail, showed up with shovels, ready to guerrilla garden.

My friend and I planned this for a long time. The idea was to covertly plant sunflowers in the bleakest areas of our neighborhood. With our kids, spouses, neighbors and friends, we planted seeds in dirt on boulevards, next to bus stops and in alley gardens, but the majority of our efforts were focused on 2.8 acres of fenced-in, toxic grassland that looked harmless, but is unusable space where a battery factory once stood.

Our plan was to plant sunflowers outside of the fence, which is topped with barbed wire. However, we were concerned that the city would mow down the plants because workers cut the grass about every three weeks.

It was a plumber friend's idea to slice PVC tubes into three-inch chunks and plant the seeds inside the plastic circles to protect the future sprouts from the power mowers. Turns out, this was the million-dollar idea. The one that made everything possible. The final "she loves me" petal of the whole plan.

After planting hundreds of sunflower seeds around the large, vacant grass patch, we went home to eat dinner and for the next few weeks, waited to find out if anything sprouted. And sprout they did.

We typed "guerrilla gardener" updates on Facebook that got lots of little thumbs-up icons, but we knew the real hurdle to clear was the mowers. A friend weed-wacked around the containers to, hopefully, stop the mowers from mowing too close to the containers with sprouts, and it worked.

A few days later, the landscape crew came, gave the grass a fresh cut and left the white plastic containers unharmed.

We tried to imagine why the city workers took the time to mow around the containers. Maybe they thought they were planted by the city. Maybe they didn’t think about it at all, and j…

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"It's a combination of three delicious snacks: the cheeseburger, the brat and the soft pretzel," says 102.1's Brian Kramp about the new Kramp and Adler Burger.
"It's a combination of three delicious snacks: the cheeseburger, the brat and the soft pretzel," says 102.1's Brian Kramp about the new Kramp and Adler Burger.

Kramp and Adler Burger is A-OK

I just said no to my Lean Pocket for lunch today and cruised over to Bella’s Fat Cat, 2974 N. Oakland Ave., to try The Kramp and Adler Burger. As a weekly guest on the FM 102.1 Kramp & Adler Morning Show, I wanted to show my support of their sandwich, but also, I was grossly curious what a hamburger topped with a bratwurst would taste like.

It definitely doesn’t taste like chicken.

Kramp told me that when he and Adler kicked around ideas for their namesake burger, they wanted something with "a nice distribution of tastes." Mission accomplished.

The "Kradler" burger features a 100 percent sirloin patty topped with cheese, raw onions, yellow mustard and, yes, a grilled bratwurst, on a soft pretzel bun.

The Kramp and Adler Burger is $3.99 and a portion of the proceeds will go towards brain cancer research. The burger is available at both Bella's locations through September.

The ingredients completely work together, but after eating one, be prepared for slug mode because there's a whole lotta meat to process.

Best of all, although the burger is massive, it’s not sloppy because of the limited condiments. Turns out, Kramp’s not much of a condiment guy, so they compromised with just a dab of mustard.

Truth be told, I am crazy for ketchup and added a wee bit to my sandwich. Sorry, Kramp, hope you don’t find that too sacrilegious.