The story of Goldilocks is pretty well known. A little blond girl breaks into a house owned by a family of anthropomorphic bears and proceeds to jack up their chairs, porridge and beds while they're out doing, I don't know, bear stuff. But what if, instead of being a cute little fairy tale girl with no respect for property, Goldilocks had some sense and happened to be just a little bit of a lush? Well, that'd be me. 

I've decided to explore every bar, pub, lounge and dive Milwaukee has to offer – in sets of three, just to be cute. Check back often as I embark on regular bar tours with my self-proclaimed "magical sidekick," Jessie. And don't worry – I'm too much of a taste chameleon to ever find one that's "just right."

Well, we've come to the end of the extended trio extravaganza. I'm not the kind of person that needs an excuse to celebrate, but I figured we'd give the Seeing Double run a good and cheery send-off. And what's more festive than 'ritas? They're colorful, they're boozy, and there's only one name that comes to my mind then I think of them: La Fuente.

Lucky for me (and you, since you're reading), that one name has two locations – the original in Walker's Point and the new location at 92nd and Bluemound – giving me the perfect excuse to get my lush slush fix.

La Fuente, 625 S. 5th St. and 9155 W. Bluemound Rd. 

Location and parking

There's street parking abound at both La Fuentes (Las Fuentes?). If you want to park close to the Walker's Point location you may have to deal with meters if you stop in for lunch or an early happy hour or dinner, but that'll only set you back a couple of quarters. As a nice bonus, spaces along 5th Street are diagonal, so that lie you told about your mad parallel parking skills will survive another day.

On the other hand, parking at La Fuente West may be free, but it'll cost you a bit of a walk. Spaces lining the surrounding streets and in the baby parking lot across the street fill up fast.

Either way, both ar…

The story of Goldilocks is pretty well known. A little blond girl breaks into a house owned by a family of anthropomorphic bears and proceeds to jack up their chairs, porridge and beds while they're out doing, I don't know, bear stuff. But what if, instead of being a cute little fairy tale girl with no respect for property, Goldilocks had some sense and happened to be just a little bit of a lush? Well, that'd be me.

I've decided to explore every bar, pub, lounge and dive Milwaukee has to offer – in sets of three, just to be cute. Check back often as I embark on regular bar tours with my self-proclaimed "magical sidekick," Jessie. And don't worry – I'm too much of a taste chameleon to ever find one that's "just right."

(Quick recap for the uninitiated or the overserved who may have forgotten since last week: "Seeing Double" puts two locations of the same bar head-to-head in a battle for bar supremacy. There will be three total for those of you objecting on grounds of relevance. If you want to read the first one, click here. If you want to read the third one, well, you'll just have to suck it up and wait until next week.)

It wouldn't be fair to say the Café Hollanders wrote the book on beer, since a) the Belgians did most of their work, and b) even they're not the end all, be all of beer. But with over 20 draft beers at both the Downer Avenue and Tosa Village locations – not to mention a literal book devoted to their full lineup and helpful tasting notes – it's a safe bet that they've got the Belgium beer (apologies – bier) pretty well covered.

As cafes, their business isn't based solely on the suds, but as the book would suggest, it's kind of a big deal. Case in point: they stock 40+ different glasses just to serve the stuff. Clearly, they don't mess around.

Not one to pass up a good beer (not to mention ones with higher APVs than wine in some cases), I couldn't say no.

Café Hollander, 2608 N. Downer Ave. and 7677 W. State St., Wauwatosa

Location …

The story of Goldilocks is pretty well known. A little blond girl breaks into a house owned by a family of anthropomorphic bears and proceeds to jack up their chairs, porridge and beds while they're out doing, I don't know, bear stuff. But what if, instead of being a cute little fairy tale girl with no respect for property, Goldilocks had some sense and happened to be just a little bit of a lush? Well, that'd be me.

I've decided to explore every bar, pub, lounge and dive Milwaukee has to offer – in sets of three, just to be cute. Check back often as I embark on regular bar tours with my self-proclaimed "magical sidekick," Jessie. And don't worry – I'm too much of a taste chameleon to ever find one that's "just right."

Tackling the bars of Milwaukee in trios is a near-perfect project. I get to explore new places, I get to drink, and it allows for a pun-tastic title.

It works great for me, but there are a few bars in this city that don't want to comply. I'm talking about those with two locations. What am I supposed to do with those? Group them in their neighborhoods? By type? Pretend like they're completely separate?

Of course not. That would be boring. Instead, I'm going to pit them against each other in a trio of head-to-head bar battles – starting with ...

Mo's Irish Pub, 142 W. Wisconsin Ave. and 10842 W. Bluemound Road, Wauwatosa

Location and parking

Mo's Downtown is located on the corner of Wisconsin and Plankinton Avenues. It's easy to find, but parking (street or structure) can be a beast, and can also cost you. Mo's in Tosa, on the other hand, has its own free parking lot just off Bluemound Road, plus two extra lots for overflow and street parking.

Timing is everything when it comes to either spot, though. The downtown location gives its customers a hand with free valet parking after 10 p.m. Judging from the small dinner crowd, this seems to be its niche. It's a different story in Tosa, however, whose normally spacious lots were filled to the ve…

It's been a summer of firsts – from aerobatic plane rides to rappelling down Lambeau Field – so it seems fitting I'd throw my hat into the ring for some competitive eating, too.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I agreed to faceplant into a cream puff at the State Fair's Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Contest. I knew I'd get messy, but the cream puff quantity seems to change yearly, so I wasn't sure quite how messy.

I thought I would at least be able to hold my own when I found out we only had to eat one, but I didn't have to wait long to realize I wasn't going to win it.

I'm a slow eater by nature; it's not in me to shovel it down for bragging rights or cream puff glory. Still, not 15 seconds after my fellow contestants and I dove in, the judges were declaring a winner on the far end of the table.

Somehow in those 15 seconds, Dave Murphy of Oldies 95.7 had managed to plow through his whole cream puff. I had barely made it through my first third and was just starting to get my rhythm.

After I cleaned myself up I asked the champ to clue me in on his technique. His response was simply, "I just inhaled it."

I guess I'm not cut out for this kind of thing after all. My lungs only work with oxygen. Still, I got (part of) a free cream puff out of the deal, so I like to think I won just a little bit.