I've never been a runner. My Phy. Ed. years are littered with neon green Field Day "participant" stickers and mercy-laden Bs doled out by sympathetic gym teachers who graded on effort.

However, I've always been stubborn. And now that I've set my sights on – and tamed, if not conquered – various athletic feats of increasing difficulty, it's time I face my nemesis.

In a move that was half peer pressure and half masochistic intrigue, I joined my friends' team for this Friday's Color Run, otherwise known as the "Up With People" hippie of 5K society. They throw colored powder at you while you run. Colored powder and joy. Seriously, check out the website. It's a regular love-in over there.

So, I found the best possible arena to exorcise my run-phobia. I was good – until they sent out the race map.

Listen, I know how far five kilometers is. But, one look at that map – with its seemingly endless path winding around the tiniest representation of Miller Park I've ever seen – completely shook up my game.

I should know better. Logical Adult Brain keeps insisting that 5K is 5K is 5K, no matter how it looks on a map. But, Wiggy Regressing Brain is telling Logical Adult Brain to shut it because LOOK HOW FAR THAT IS. And somewhere in the middle, I'm stuck, because they just prattle on and on when deep down both of them know that come Friday I have to – and will – run that 5K.

It won't be that bad. And yes, Color Run, all that matters is I try. I just need to steer clear of that map, is all.