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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Monday, June 17, 2013

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Mark Wahlberg (and Seth MacFarlane's voice) stars in "Ted," in theaters now.
Mark Wahlberg (and Seth MacFarlane's voice) stars in "Ted," in theaters now.

Grab your thunder buddy and hang out with "Ted"

A movie about Marky Mark and his stoner teddy bear produced by "Family Guy"/"American Dad" funnyman Seth MacFarlane: It's a profane comedy geek's dream come true. It's rude, it's crude, and laughing at it will probably send you to hell, but "Ted" is sure to please its target audience of people who just don't care.

First things first: How does no one care that an anthropomorphic teddy bear is running amok in Boston? Well, after being wished to life by a young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), Ted the Teddy Bear (voiced by MacFarlane) became a media sensation. But, as narrator Patrick Stewart explained, eventually people stopped giving a sh*t.

Now well past childhood, John and Ted are still best buddies. But, instead of riding bikes and playing games, the duo spends most of their time getting ripped in their apartment and behaving like stereotypical frat boys, much to the chagrin of John's girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis). Caught between his best friend and the love of his life, John has to figure out a way to grow up without ditching his beloved teddy bear.

"Ted" rides on its no-holds-barred jokes, which take jabs at everything from itself (they address Ted sounding too much like Peter Griffin head-on) to 9-11. Obviously this kind of humor doesn't cater to everyone, but no one smart should expect MacFarlane to deliver the "Schindler's List" of comedy. It's "Family Guy" with an R rating -- disclaimers aren't necessary.

In addition to borrowing its style from the popular TV cartoon, "Ted" also employs many familiar faces – or at least voices – from the show. Kunis and Stewart are both carry-overs, as well as Patrick Warburton and Alex Borstein. The movie also plays off a fair amount of cameos, especially "Top Gun"'s Tom Skerritt and Flash Gordon himself, Sam Jones. If you close your eyes, you can actually picture the "Family Guy" cutaway gags in your head.

While "Ted" is no doubt raunchy, there is a pretty tight – albeit simple – plot holding it all together. MacFarlane is good at piecing together storylines that entertain both in short stints and the long haul, and he turns out yet another here.

Ted's ridiculous antics play well for one-liners and gags, but subplots driven by Lori's boss (Joel McHale) and weirdo stalker Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) cater more to viewers expecting the more traditional movie experience. It's kind of a niche comedy, but audiences (who are semi-prepared for what's about to go down) won't leave disappointed.

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