I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that it takes me an hour to park, and my AC is broken, as is my driver's-side window, causing me to drip sweat as I search for a spot. Maybe it is the fact that these places I go to in the Third Ward people always tell me are great places. However from Swig, to Water Buffalo, to Rip-Tide, and now Wicked Hop I walk away consistently disappointed. I've written about Water Buffalo, and Swig, and now it's Wicked Hop.

Appetizer (Starts off on wrong Foot): Guacamole and Chips. The chips were great the Guacamole was so bad I would love to use an expletive to describe it. It was one of those clearly store bought Guacs. You know the one you are excited about when you get it from the refrigerated section, but then it has the smooth consistency of sour cream, is overly citrusy, and at no point even offers the hint of avocado except for the baby-vomit-green coloring. I think it should be against the law to offer Guacamole on the menu without actually making it in your own kitchen. If you want the best Guac in town check out Cubanita's. Their's is clearly homemade, and comes with their homemade Plantain chips.

Main Courses:

1. Buffalo Chicken Wrap. It is on the menu as the BBQ Chicken Wrap, and they were nice enough to make it buffalo. That was the only thing they did well. The tortilla was cold and way to soft. The chicken was ok, but there was not enough buffalo sauce, and the accompanying vegetables inside the sandwich were likely a frozen pre-mix. The way I explain restaurants like this is I say to people, "Think what Applebees would taste like if they had better ingredients. What if the people at Applebees had to shop at Glorioso's or Sendick's? Maybe the food would be better." Wicked hop is what Applebees would be like if they shopped at Pick n' Save (No offense to Pick n' Save I love you).

2. My dining companion also got a wrap, and I pretty much have told you the problems. I have an Idea. Wrap the sandwich and briefly throw it on the grill, or pan sear it so it is a bit crispy. I do it all the time at home with Fajitas. Wrap your food and then throw it in a dry hot pan, or on the grill or in the oven. It makes the tortilla warm and a little crispy and really enhances it.

Finally, The Famous Bloody Mary. What a freaking joke. Ok I get it for brunch it comes in a Boot. Great. The mix is homemade, great. That means nothing if it sucks. It is like they made a crappy bloody mary and covered it up by putting a ton of little garnishes including a decrepit mini dill, a black pickled mushroom, a beef stick, and a bunch of weird string cheese that looked like noodles floating all over in it.

I just don't get how these places stay in business. I mean the food sucks, and people still go because the price is right, and you can sit outside. I got an idea everyone come over to my house. I will charge half the price, make better food, and you can sit on my lawn. People need to check out places like The Knick, and Harry's on Oakland. Those two places are what Wicked Hop, and Water Buffalo wish they were.