So, when I was writing yesterday's blog, I was in the middle of a panic attack.  Actually, I took a valium (prescribed by my doc) and then began writing.  The subject was so "positive" that I didn't feel I could bring it up and not bring the whole piece down.

But, it does bring me to the subjects of anxiety and depression.

No one likes to talk about either of those topics, really.  I do speak of my personal experience, but you do risk people putting you in the "looney" category from the get-go.  That said, I was at work Wednesday night talking with my chef about my recent trip to the doctor who increased my prescrition for Zoloft from 50 mgs to 100 mgs.  I admitted that my kind of crazy is constant mind speak... I can't shut my own mind up.  I aim to pair the medication with yoga sometime soon... I think it will help.

Anyway, my chef said to me that he never would have guessed because I hide it so well.  I'm a fairly outgoing person and, being honest, I really have things good.  Being over maudlin seems indulgent and ingrateful.  But, it is true.  I do hide it.  Most of the time, I'd rather spend my time alone... with no one... and no communication.  Odd when most of my life and career have been built on that very strength.  But, now I'm feeling the rebound.  

To speak to us all, and to be more inclusive of what causes me axiety and depression, I have to chalk a lot of it up to the economy/money matters... but, secondly, CHANGE.  It's what our President won the election on.  However, now so many of us are terrified of too much change, too soon... even if it's necessary and in the greater population's best interest.  No one likes change.  I can barely keep up with my mobile phones.  It's stressful.  And, we're all feeling it.  

I am happy so much of the time.  Unfortunately, I'm also so despondent so much of the time.  Now, I'm making some changes to rip away some of the monotony... like dying my hair blond...big mistake.

More soon... Cheers!