I cannot thank you enough BCS. You have rescued me from watching another thrilling tournament, or adding to the pointless playoff dribble that clueless sports fans go on and on about. Who wants to watch a tournament?

How much fun would it be if Santa didn’t wrap your presents? The excitement of seeing that present with your name on it is priceless. You shake it, squeeze it, listen to it, and measure it.

Thanks for putting the mystery into college football.

Pre-season college basketball tournaments are lackluster to say the least. Watching an ACC Championship game between Georgia Tech and Clemson is what I want to watch. Never mind that both teams are coming off losses to sub-par SEC teams. Winner gets a BCS bid in its stocking. Now that’s excitement.

Watching NFL teams fight in Week 12 trying desperately to stay in the playoff picture is pathetic. I mean come on? If only you could step in and become the governing body for the NFL. Roger Goodell is a Tony Soprano wannabe. We all know you, the BCS, are the real mob. You extort money, you bully, you instill fear, and you don’t listen to common sense.

The traffic jam of undefeated teams in college football is just what the doctor ordered. A playoff would complicate things. A playoff would crown a champion, and eliminate all arguments of who the best team was. Way too complicated for me to comprehend.

Throwing a bid to little Boise State is brilliant. Who says you only cater to the big boys? You’ve handled TCU extraordinary. So you have two teams that wouldn’t normally be invited to the party, it’s not like they will play for the National Championship.

We know that the best team is Florida, Alabama, Texas, or Cincinnati.  There is a slight chance that Boise State or TCU really is as good as advertised, but no reason to find out. Utah handling Alabama last year was a fluke, right? Boise State simply gimmicked their way to a win a few years back, right?

Well that is why we have you BCS. You take the questions out of college football, and serve us the BCS Gatorade that has all the answers. After drinking it I feel refreshed and brainwashed.

Thank you BCS. With holiday shopping, the weather changing, holiday office parties, treadmilling off the Thanksgiving pounds, and working overtime to pay off the higher than normal credit card bill, I do not have time to sit down on the couch and watch a college football playoff.

You’ve rescued me from excitement. I’ll be forever grateful.