An Overdose Of Air

Monday June 26th, 2012 – Kenosha, WI/Rockford, IL

I just pulled my second all nighter in less than a week. Who am I, Kid Rock? This is ridiculous, but the situation called for it so here I am. I was on the air from 8pm to midnight last night doing The Mothership Connection radio show on WLIP in Kenosha, WI and needed to be in Rockford, IL by 5am to do the morning show on WNTA. Going home to get any sleep was not an option.

I got off the air in Kenosha and headed straight to Rockford on Illinois Highway 173. It’s a two lane highway that goes through quite a few small towns, but it’s the most direct route. It’s also an excellent way to get a speeding ticket, so I was extra careful to go the speed limit the whole way.

There’s something both eerily peaceful and potentially frightening about driving along a lonely two lane highway at 2 or 3am. I’ve done it countless times, and know that I need to be extra alert for potential problems. Besides having to watch for third shift speed traps, animals darting across the highway can happen at any time. Sometimes they don’t dart, and that’s when it’s a problem.

I could fill a small zoo with the variety of critters I’ve crunched over the years, and I never feel good when that happens. I’ve hit raccoons, opossums, skunks, deer and even turtles. I try to miss them if possible, but sometimes they just run out at the wrong time and there’s nothing I can do.

Keeping the gas tank filled is another painfully learned lesson. Quite often there are no stations open after a certain hour in many small towns, and more than once I’ve had to pull over and wait until morning to be able to gas up. That hasn’t happened in a long time, but I’ve had to learn the hard way. Hunger can be a factor too. Restaurants and food stores also tend to close down early.

It was a gorgeous night tonight and part of me was hoping to see a UFO. I don’t claim to have ever seen one, even though I host a radio show that talks about them enthusiastically. One would think if ‘they’ really are monitoring us, I’d be somebody they’d want to abduct and get to know.

Another part of me would be scared to death, and I’d probably soil my pants to the ankles and go into shock if I saw a ship land and little green men with bulbous heads come waddling over to my car to haul me inside their saucer for an infamous ‘medical experiment’ with the giant finger.

It would probably feel a lot like Jerry Sandusky felt his first night in prison, and that’s another thing I thought about while I drove. What a nightmare situation that all is, and I feel horrible for those victims. I have to believe that even though he did get convicted, their pain won’t go away.

I talked about it on the air in Rockford with Jeff Schneider, my podcast partner who happens to live in Pennsylvania. I had him on as a guest for several reasons. He’s very up on current events, and it’s also a chance to plug ‘The Unshow’ podcast. I have to start thinking that way a lot more.

I’ve always been easy about sharing the wealth when it comes to air time. I never thought I had to always be the center of attention, and I’m fine with somebody else having the spotlight. I want the best possible show, and this is all good practice. Now I need to sleep. These hours are brutal.

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