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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Wednesday, May 22, 2013

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Readers Blog: Dobie Maxwell's 'Dented Can' Diary

Customer Disservice

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Sunday July 15th, 2012 – Reno, NV/Milwaukee, WI

   I had an unpleasant situation at the Reno airport today that really bothered me. I arrived at 5am for my flight and encountered a ticketing check in person who had an attitude larger than her big fat ass, which if it were luggage would not come close to fitting into any overhead compartment.

   It probably could have been used as a floatation device to save at least a few dozen passengers, but that’s not an important part of the story. She was in charge, and she had to let everyone know it. As soon as I arrived, she pounced on my single piece of luggage like a freshly delivered pizza.

   I was actually in a rather jovial mood, as Harrah’s had provided limousine service to the airport and the driver was a laid back pleasant fellow. We shared a few laughs on the trip, and he got me to the airport in plenty of time without a hitch. That’s always a good way to start off a travel day.

   When I politely tried to tell the woman I wouldn’t be checking my bag, she told me I’d have no choice. There was something in her condescending tone and pompous demeanor that let me in on the fact this was going to be an issue that wasn’t going to be solved easily. And it wasn’t. I could tell she was going to do her best to make my life miserable, but I was determined not to accept it.

   She was frothing at the snout telling me how my bag was oversized, and I calmly informed her I had no problem fitting it in on the incoming flight, and I didn’t. That person didn’t even have to measure it. There were no problems, and I’d packed lightly because it was only a three day trip.

   Before I knew it, out came the tape measure and she examined my bag like she was measuring a fourth and inches play in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl. It was ridiculous, but she made me check the bag because it was two inches higher than the legal limit. I stared at her in disbelief but she was serious. I tried to tell her it was fine on the incoming flight, but she wouldn’t listen.

   Then I tried to explain that I’d taken this particular bag all over the country without issue, and I have. She was bound and determined not to let it on, and she didn’t. I was steaming when I got to the gate, only to discover they had run out of room in all overhead compartments and said that all remaining carryon luggage would be checked - for free. $25 is $25, and I was going to fight this.

   I tried politely explaining my situation to the customer service person, who had the warmth of a popsicle and the intelligence of the stick. As a rule I’ve never thought I was better than anyone, but the public is starting to win me over. She was no help, and had an assortment of pre recorded corporate gobbledygook in her head she spewed out with zero humanity. I wouldn’t win this one.

   I tried to calmly explain to her that this was insane, but she wouldn’t hear of it either. I asked if $25 was worth losing my business for life, and her eyes glazed over to give me my answer. I’m a dung beetle just trying to survive day to day, and I know I mean nothing in the big picture of life.

   Still, if you ever see me on another U. S. Airways flight in this lifetime, be sure and ask for ID because it probably will be someone else who looks like me. For $25, they have lost me for life.

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