Tuesday May 29th, 2007 - Chicago, IL

Why does it always have to be ONE single idiot that ruins a good thing? One that I can think of recently is that halfwit shoe bomber that wanted to blow up an airplane with his nuclear Nike or whatever he was packing. Now we ALL have to take our shoes off while going through airport security and clog that toilet even more and it’s all because of ONE goof bag’s out of left field actions. This is a common story throughout the history of man.

Adam eats the apple, BANG. Paradise lost. It started there and went downhill. Example after example has happened since and afterward all the rest of us have to be put out of our way because of the actions of the original jug head. This doesn’t seem very fair, does it?

I am going through a similar situation with my comedy class. There is ONE moron who didn’t graduate from the last session who is now DEMANDING a refund. The fact is that he flunked out of the class and chose not to show up for several sessions. That wasn’t my choice at all. He knew what was required and he chose to stay away. That’s fine, he has a right to do that if he chooses but that doesn’t allow him to get any refund in my opinion.

He’s sixty years old, owns a business he hates and is angry at the world. I tried my very best to give him WAY more than he paid for as I always do with my students. They might not like what I’m saying but it’s what they need to hear if they want to be comedians. The truth is not always pleasant but this is a brutal business. I don’t sugarcoat anything but the ones who get it come back to me years later and thank me for doing it. There are always a few who think I’m a maniac but I don’t apologize for telling them the truth. They need it.

SO many students have become personal friends over the years that I sometimes cannot keep track of them all. We’ve had over a thousand students now and 99.999% of them are super people from all walks of life who take the class for various reasons. Some just want to meet people, others want to see what comedy is like and still others want to make it the career they’ve always dreamed of. No matter what their reason, I try to cater to them all.

Every once in a while a pinhead pops up. It’s not often but when it happens it makes me forget all the good people I’ve met and focus on the weenie. This guy is sending me nasty emails and is threatening to ‘go above my head’ and ‘get the money I deserve’ because he doesn’t like my ‘dictatorial teaching style’ and blah blah blah. All of it makes me puke.

Had he come to me with a problem I’d have taken great pains to solve it. Now HE is the great pain and won’t admit to himself or anyone else that his problem is standing directly in front of him in his mirror each morning when he shaves. He won’t admit that so now it becomes my fault. In my past I might have just peeled off a refund and sent him packing. Or, I might have opened up both barrels and let him have it with a verbal nuclear assault.

I chose to do neither. I wrote him a very professional email and he answered me with all kinds of complaints and insults. He has to be right and he won’t back off. I am choosing a professional approach and won’t take it personally. Wow, I must be maturing after all!