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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Thursday, Nov. 27, 2014

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Readers Blog: Dobie Maxwell's 'Dented Can' Diary

Fantastic Voyage

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Sunday September 2nd, 2012 – Milwaukee, WI

   I really don’t need many more shiny objects dangling in front of my face to distract me from all I have going on these days, but I made room for at least one more anyway. For the first time in a long time – probably at least ten years or more - I joined a fantasy football league and today I drove to Milwaukee for the draft. I may live to regret it, but I thought I’d give it another shot.

   It’s not that I don’t like football, I totally do. It’s just that I’m not very organized at times, and it became a huge pain in the end zone to have to make sure I got my lineups in on time and make sure my guys weren’t injured, in prison or in any other way incapable of increasing my income.

   In theory, fantasy football is a lot of fun. I’m sure the NFL must really love it, because that and gambling increase interest in even the most boring of matchups. Jacksonville vs. Seattle couldn’t draw flies outside both of those cities if degenerate gamblers and mega geeks weren’t watching.

   I’ve never been much of a gambler, as being an entertainer for a living is risky enough. I don’t need any more stress and tension every week on top of what I already have. My geek factor isn’t what it was at one time either. I used to watch pregame, postgame, actual games, game highlights and then Sports Center at the end of it all to see what I just saw reviewed for me all over again.

   The last few years have seen my sports interest wane considerably. I’ve got far too many things on my brain that have more of a personal impact on my life than how many sacks Philadelphia’s defense has, and I thought it would be a good idea to flex those geek muscles a bit to stay sharp.

   Plus, it helps my friend Richard Caan indirectly. He’s been a member of this particular league for years, and they were short a couple of guys and he happened to bring it up in conversation on occasion. He’d asked if I might want to snap up one of the available spots, and at first I said no.

   Then I thought about it and changed my mind. How could it hurt? I’m sure a lot more positives will come out of it than negatives, and if it totally sucks I won’t have to do it next year. It’s only a few bucks a week and I’ll get a chance to interact with some good guys and make new friends.

   Richard is one of my very favorite people, so that sealed the deal. He’s made a living by selling high quality sports cards on Ebay for several years after quitting his day job and he has helped me too many times to count in too many ways to count. He’s as good as it gets, so anything that would help him in any way is something I’ll always do. The other guys were all friendly as well.

  The draft itself went quite smoothly. Again, Richard being the good guy he is let me share all of his prepared player rankings lists, and I made my choices accordingly. I didn’t stress about the picks, and if I lose every week I’m not going to be upset. If nothing else, I’ll find the humor in it.

   Expanding one’s horizons is never a bad thing, and this just felt like the right thing to try right now. Maybe I’ll really get into it now after many years being away. Or, this is my last year of ever doing it and life goes on. I’m already thinking of a comedy bit about it so I think I’ll be fine.

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