Blog entries for ItsMrLucky

A Double Dodger

ItsMrLucky — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:21:48 GMT

Friday November 6th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   After the show last night I decided to at least start on the long drive home since I’d slept away most of the afternoon anyway. I knew it would be the longest drive-a-thon this week and I was prepared for it. The bad weather on the way up threw a monkey wrench into the mix and I was concerned about the way back but it cleared up and it was a perfect night.

   Tom Slovinski did an excellent job both nights so that experiment was a total success. It was his first real road test and he passed without a bit of trouble. It was fun to be a part of it and hear the unbridled excitement in his voice as we went over both shows in the car on the way down. It kept me awake while driving and helped to shorten a hellacious drive.

   One thing I really don’t enjoy is crossing the Mackinaw Bridge, especially at night. That thing is always extremely windy and I don’t feel safe at all. There’s always a sign warning drivers of impending winds and I’d rather not chance it. Too bad it’s the only way over.

   Other than weather concerns, drunk drivers are another bane to late night drives. That’s usually when they’re out, and if there are a lot of two lane highways I’ll usually stay over even if it means taking up most of the next day. That’s one fate even I refuse to tempt. I’d much rather be late and living than rammed head on by some goober in a jacked up 4x4.

   The other main issue that scares me to death is the old ‘critter hitter’ trick. I’ve bagged a lifetime supply of fresh road kills so far, and I can easily live a fine and productive life if I never again squash another living creature with my vehicle. Skunks, raccoons, opossum, it doesn’t matter. I’ve mangled them all. Deer are the worst. I’ve hit several and it’s ugly.

   The average deer is rather sturdy and will most definitely annihilate any car, especially if they collide at exactly the right angle. I had Tom watch along with me as we drove and by the time we arrived in Lansing we’d seen a total of six. One really looked as if he’d go for it and Tom and I both thought we‘d blast it head on, but then it darted the other way.

   That sent a blast of adrenaline through both of us, a lot stronger than any caffeine drink could have given us. That easily could have been a disaster. The last thing I’d need now is a mangled Toyota, but adding having to find a ride home from rural Michigan would turn it into an all out tilt-a-whirl of torture. Those six deer are alive, and we’re glad to hear it.

   Not too far outside Lansing, I was buzzing along about 75 through a construction zone when I noticed the outline of a police vehicle. Apparently the speed limit had gone down significantly from 70 to 45 and I missed the sign. He hit his lights and chased me down.

   Tom was frozen next to me but I’d been in this situation before. The officer wasn’t one of those do gooder Nazi types and calmly asked to see my registration and insurance card, which of course I didn’t have. I don’t know why, I just didn’t. He could have put us both through the ringer but instead I got off with a warning, probably because he thought my ‘I (heart) Uranus’ bumper sticker was hilarious. I dodged two major bullets tonight. Whew.

Another Nut Cracks

ItsMrLucky — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:47:41 GMT

Thursday November 5th, 2009 - Sault Ste. Marie, MI

   The drive between St. Ignace and Sault Ste. Marie is only about fifty miles, but today it seemed like five hundred because of the weather conditions. There was rain and sleet and slow and wind, and then it was sunny for five minutes. Then it was like a blizzard again.

   It went back and forth like that the whole way and I can’t recall ever seeing such diverse weather conditions on such a short trip. My little Toyota was rocking back and forth with such force there for a while I thought for sure I’d wind up dead in the ditch as bear chow.

   We ended up making it to the Kewadin Casino and checked in. They feed us here and it was lunch time so we went and had a spectacular meal. That’s one of the perks of this run so Tom and I made full use of it. After lunch it was nap time and I made full use of that as well. I didn’t get much sleep last night so I went down for the count and sawed some logs.

   I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon and woke up around 6pm. I don’t usually turn the TV on often but today I did and saw the coverage of the shooting situation in Texas at Ft. Hood. Of course I was stunned like anyone else would be and it made me feel very sad for the families of the victims. If anything puts a damper on comedy it’s a mass shooting.

   These kinds of situations are never going to go away unfortunately, but I sure wish they would. If the guy was that wacked out, he should have gotten help or just blown his own head off. Why do these nut bags always have to take out innocent people? Have a plan.

   The second thing I thought of was his name. They said he’s from Jordan and probably a Muslim and that pours gas on that whole situation. I know all Muslims aren’t bad but this won’t do anything to squash those rumors. Innocent people will get screwed once more.

   My friend Azhar Usman comes to mind immediately. Azhar is a wonderful person and hilarious comic as well. Unfortunately he looks like he should be the poster child for The Taliban’s recruitment division. He’s dark skinned and has long hair and a beard and he’s about 6’2” tall. I have to admit, I’d look twice or more if he was on an airplane with me.

   HE’S the one that has to suffer the most when things like this happen because everyone assumes he’s a terrorist along with every cab driver and millions of other good folks who moved to America to build better lives for themselves and their families. It’s just not fair.

   I know life isn’t fair and never will be but my heart goes out to Azhar and everyone else who happens to be of Middle Eastern descent who are good people and just want to live a peaceful life. I know there are bad ones just like there are bad apples of every group but it stinks that those maniacal selfish bung holes have to ruin it for all the others, and they do.

   Check out Azhar’s website at www.azhar.com. He’s really funny and a very gentle soul. Hopefully he can help to cool off some of the tensions that are sure to get tighter after this little cowardly punk stunt. Life is tense enough and nobody needed this. Enough already.

Way Up In The U.P.

ItsMrLucky — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:47:53 GMT

Wednesday November 4th, 2009 - St. Ignace, MI

   Good news is coming from all directions, and I’m not complaining. First, I’ve got a full week of decently paying gigs, even though I’ll have to drive all over the U.P. of Michigan and back to do them. That’s ok, it will give me a chance to pay some bills and also help a young comic named Tom Slovinski get some road chops. He’s my hand picked opener.

   I met Tom at the Zanies Rising Star Showcase a few months ago and I thought he had a lot of promise. He lives in Lansing and I was able to pick my opener on this run so he was the one I chose. He’s thrilled to have the work so I swung through Lansing to pick him up on my way. He’s young and eager and wanted to talk about comedy for the whole drive.

   That made the trip a lot shorter because he asked excellent questions. He’s a student of the comedy game just like I was at his age and I’m glad I’m able to pay forward some of the mentoring people like C. Cardell Willis, Gary Kern, Kyle Nape and others did for me when I started. Tom is a bright guy and very funny and I don’t think my effort is wasted.

   I hit major rush hour traffic in Chicago on my way through but there’s not much I could do about that. I left home a little later than I wanted and got caught, but I was up late so it was better to at least get a couple of hours of sleep before driving 521 miles to St. Ignace.

   On my way to pick up Tom I received a call from Marc Schultz telling me I was chosen for a holiday party on December 18th. He sends out DVDs with several acts and the client chooses who they want. This one picked me, and I’m thrilled. It was a direct result of my Late Late Show appearance and that’s great news. That’s starting to pay off for me now.

   Marc said this probably won’t be the last one, as he sent out quite a few DVDs to quite a few potential clients and he’s gotten positive feedback about me from a few people. It’s finally starting to pay off after all these years and I’m not going to take it for granted. I’ve worked super hard to get in place to even be considered for these shows, so I’m grateful.

   Next, I got a call from Jerry Agar telling me we’re booked in January for the first run of our play “You’re On The Air” with The Kidders. Vicki Quade put it together and we’re at The Beverly Arts Center, where I’ve worked before with the Chicago Style Standups. It’s the exact kind of place we want to be playing, and we were all pumped to hear this news.

   Then, another call came in from Rick Piccolo telling me he’s working on not only a gig for Jerry’s Kidders, but a paid comedy class session at one of the local colleges where he lives. He’s been working on it for a while and it looks like it’s finally coming through for next year. It will be a paid situation and he said the people in charge are glad to have me.

   Not as glad as I was to hear of all this. One call after another came in with one piece of good news better than the next. The show tonight was extremely fun, even though it was a small audience. They were fantastic laughers and the staff was great too. This is exactly how I pictured life is supposed to work, and I’m going to keep that picture in my head.

A Kidder Kaboodle

ItsMrLucky — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 06:37:10 GMT

Tuesday November 3rd, 2009 - St. Charles, IL

   Big Jerry’s Kidders summit today. The four of us have been out of touch for a while for various reasons, most of them legit. We needed to get back on the same page so we met at Portillo’s in St. Charles, IL, right across from the Pheasant Run Resort. Portillo’s is a very popular hot dog restaurant chain in the Chicago area that has achieved legendary status.

   I was turned on to them back in the ‘80s when I first moved to Chicago. They serve hot dogs and Polish sausages and Italian beef sandwiches among other things. It’s not a fancy menu but they really do it right and every location seems to have lines around the joint for the drive through window at all hours of the day. People in Chicagoland LOVE Portillo’s.

   The guy who started it has become a celebrity in town and there are now probably about 40 or 50 locations, mostly in the suburbs. There’s a picture in every one of where it began in 1963, and it’s this tiny little mini house looking thing that isn’t very impressive at all.

   What’s extremely impressive is the business the guy built out of that little cart. He has a gold mine and I’m sure he’s a millionaire many times over. Good for him. He found a gig and did it well, and in a town where hot dog joints are everywhere - his brand stands out.

   His places are always very clean and well run and there’s a vibe of efficiency whenever I walk in, no matter the location. He’s got the mojo working, and I respect the guy beyond words. I’ve never met him but I’d like to shake his hand someday and say how much of a fan I am of his accomplishments. I know nothing about hot dogs but I admire Portillo’s.

    Another guy I admire a lot is ‘Famous Dave’ Anderson. I did get to meet him years ago when I interviewed him on the radio in Salt Lake City. There’s another guy who made his mark on a competitive business and stands out because of his quality and efficiency. I’ve always been a fan of Famous Dave’s restaurants because I see how well they‘re operated.

   I don’t want to get into the restaurant business but if I did, I’d gladly work for either one of those places. Someone in charge has a clue, and they know what they’re doing. I would bet they’ll both be around for a while and I’d have to feel good about my job being safe.

   Job security was the main issue of our meeting today. We’re all concerned about money right now and wanted to get on the same page of how we’re going to move forward in the next twelve months with the Kidders brand both on radio and as a live performing show.

We’ve got opportunities on the horizon but nothing is in stone and we all have to make a living NOW. If anyone gets hired to do something else it could easily jeopardize all of our hard work as a group and nobody wants that to happen. We’re in a delicate situation here.

   Our play with Vicki Quade is moving ahead, but that takes time. None of us can say for sure we’ll be making our living doing it in 2010. Portillo’s built a hot dog empire but they focused on one thing and did it right. Jerry’s Kidders now need to focus on our product.

Eleven Percent

ItsMrLucky — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:14:38 GMT

Monday November 2nd, 2009 - Chicago, IL

   Back at Zanies in Chicago after a week off. It felt good to get back in a groove but I’m wrestling with the same issues I’ve always had with time management. I spent all day at home working on tedious but necessary tasks like sorting receipts and answering emails.

   I intended to get a walk in but I had so many other things to do, I just didn’t get around to it today. I was on a roll doing what I was doing so I decided that was being productive and chose to keep doing it. There’s no way I can do everything I want to do in each day.

   That’s unbelievably frustrating but also reality so I have to make my choices carefully. Today was the tentative start of a new session of comedy classes so I had to be at Zanies by 6pm to see if anyone showed up. We did get a turnout and I’ve got a few more on the fence so hopefully we can squeeze in one more class session before the end of the year.

   I’ve come too far with this project to just let it die and I refuse to let that happen. I have a proven system that has taken years to develop and it’s still getting better because I work at it all the time. I know I have a dynamic product, now I have to market it to the masses.

   Having Zanies in my corner doesn’t hurt. They have been good to me and have stood by their promise to let me be their exclusive comedy teacher. No matter how many others try to set up shop in Chicago, I’ve got the cherry location everyone craves. That’s one chip in my favor but I still have to get the word out so people know that classes are available.

   Bert Haas and I had a meeting after the show tonight to discuss exactly that. He wants a set schedule for the classes, much like Second City has for their improv classes. They’re a money machine when it comes to that and that’s great, but now even they’ve jumped on a growing bandwagon and added standup classes. It’s time to claim this and make it mine.

   I listened to some great audio programs on the way to and from Zanies today. I’m trying to pack my head with quality thoughts at every turn. Tony Robbins had my ear on the way there and Wayne Dyer was my choice for the way home. I enjoy listening to both of them.

   Every person in that field has virtually the same message, but they’re all correct - what a person thinks about most of the time, becomes reality. Many use the phrase “Thoughts are things” or some variation of it and it’s very true. Our thoughts can be our biggest boost or our biggest bust, and ultimately we’re the ones who control them. That’s the basic theme.

   And a most splendid theme it is. Even George Clinton has a variation of it with one of his album titles - “Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow.” No matter how it’s said, the truth is all of us have a lot of untapped power inside our coconut that stays unused.

   We’ve all heard the statistic that we use about 10% of our total brainpower. Who’s the one measuring this? I think they’re WAY high on that number, but if it’s true all I’ll need to do is use 11% of mine and I’ll be looked at as a genius. I think I still have a way to go.

Nothing Is 4 Ever

ItsMrLucky — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:03:14 GMT

Sunday November 1st, 2009 - Pittsburgh, PA/Kenosha, WI

   Well, the Purple Satan got his revenge on Green Bay. Big whoop-de-doo. I hope he’s finally happy, because apparently the blind worship of an entire state for 16 years wasn’t quite enough. He had to whine and suck his thumb like a baby but now that baby got his wish. I’m glad I didn’t watch even one play of it, as I was driving back from Pittsburgh.

   It’s amazing how things that appear to be locked in stone in life can get reversed and go in exactly the opposite direction. I was a supporter of Brett Favre, along with every other Packer fan, both rabid and casual. Even other fans had to respect his talent, and they did.

   I still respect the guy’s talents. Who doesn’t? On paper, he will go down as one of if not THE best football player that ever suited up in the NFL. That’s impressive, and it doesn’t matter what he did personally. But it does. He pissed off millions of people by the way he handled this situation, even though his team won the game today. I’m not a fan anymore.

   If you’d have bet me ten years ago I’d be cheering against Brett Favre, I’d have taken it and laughed in your face. I’d NEVER cheer against the Holy #4. He was the man and that was Green Bay gospel. Then he had to pull his little crybaby stunt and it changed the way a lot of people looked at him, including me. Now I have a completely opposite opinion.

    I’m still blown away by how this happens, but it’s not the first time. When I was a kid I absolutely despised Muhammad Ali. I wanted him to lose every fight and shut his mouth, but he never did. I thought he was a braggart and a loudmouth, and he was. What I didn’t appreciate then was he was also a brilliant showman and amazing athlete, but I do now.

   I think Muhammad Ali was the greatest athlete of the 20th century, which is a complete departure from what I used to think but my perspective changed. I admire the guy’s work in the ring and out and wish I could have enjoyed it back then rather than be reviled by it.

   There are a few other examples too. When Steve Martin got hot in the ‘70s, I didn’t get what was so funny about him for the life of me. I tried to like him, but it didn’t sink in for whatever reason. Most of my friends loved him and I couldn’t understand why I was in a minority of one. Now, I can appreciate him and really think he was brilliant, but not then.

   Married couples who divorce have the same feeling. At one time they are ready to live a life together, or at least they think they are. In all the world, they’ve found ONE partner to share life’s journey. Then, that person becomes a hated rival and their number one enemy. What used to be a relationship is now a battleship, and the roles are completely reversed.

   This has happened a couple of times of note in my life recently. My ex business partner and I were friends for many years, or at least I thought we were. We got along quite nicely for a long time, but then he not only cleaned out the bank account, he started up doing the exact same business I taught him how to do. He took what I taught him and stuck it in my face and he went from confidant to competitor immediately. It still doesn’t make sense.

   Then there’s this whole ugly mess with Giggles and Funny Business. I thought we had a very strong working relationship, but I guess I was wrong. When it came down to proving it, they both leaked out. I did what I said I would, a week of shows for low pay. I’d shown a lot of good faith over the years to both of them, but never had it shown back in return.

   I used to look forward to going back and working there, but one bounced check ruined a lot of things. Now, I have a really bad taste in my mouth about them as people. I know the feeling is mutual, and it’s all really wrong in my opinion. I think all of this is wasted time.

   What put this whole day into perspective was a story I read in the in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette this morning. A 37 year old mother of three was walking home with her children after grocery shopping and walked over a train track. One of the kids was in a stroller and that child and the mother were killed by a passing train. The other two kids saw it happen.

   Wow. How unspeakably horrific is that? I was stunned as I read that story, as it said the two surviving children weren’t physically hurt but were ‘traumatized’. Hell yes they were traumatized, and I wanted to go find them and give them hugs and cry along with them.

   The article didn’t give the names of the lady or the children, what ethnicity they were, a description of their social status, nothing like that. I would assume since they had to walk to the store they were probably not that well off, but that doesn’t mean it was necessarily the case. What it did say was there was a foot bridge across the tracks fifty yards away.

   Was the lady in a hurry? Just plain lazy? Who knows the real story of why she chose to cross railroad tracks with three small children, but she did. Too late. What really gripped me were the two kids who lived. Their lives changed forever, and probably not in a good way. They’ll surely never forget Halloween of 2009, no matter how long they both live.

   I wanted to reach out to those kids and try to do something to soothe their what I’m sure is excruciating pain, but there was nothing I could do. That got me to thinking about God, and my perspective on that subject has changed dramatically over the years also. I wonder if there is one, and after seeing stories like this I’m having my doubts. What’s the truth?

   The older I get, the less of a clue I have about anything. I do know a football game isn’t anything I should be concerned about so that didn’t affect me at all. Brett Favre has a fine life and more money than he could spend in ten lifetimes, and I might actually like him if I had a chance to meet him. Or not. Either way, who he works for is of no major concern.

   My heart really went out to those kids. I don’t care who they are or what color they may be or even how stupid their mother was for taking them across railroad tracks. None of it matters now, does it? Those kids are ultimate dented cans and will have a rough struggle.

   Some of the problems I have, I’ve brought on myself. I admit it, and I am trying to get a grip and fix what I can. These kids had no control over this, and it’s a true tragedy. I send all good vibes their way and know that my problems are microscopic compared to theirs.

Paying Back In Pittsburgh

ItsMrLucky — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:50:54 GMT

Saturday October 31st, 2009 - Cranberry, PA

   Small crowd, BIG fun. That’s not usually how the equation works, but tonight made my long drive to West Virginia and then here totally worth it. Wow, what a vibe these people had. They were there to see comedy and they gave it up start to finish. What a fun night.

   This is the drug to which I am hopelessly addicted. An audience like this is worth going across the country for, and around the world. We clicked from the first five seconds and it never let up. I could do anything I wanted and I had as much fun as they did. We bonded.

   What made it really satisfying is that Keith Schneider was in the room and saw most of the show. He and his brother Jeff owned the Funny Bone in Milwaukee where I cut most of my comedy teeth on the way up the ranks in the ‘80s. They switched off in running the club so I worked for each of them both onstage and off. They’ve known me from the start.

   Before the show Keith and I were talking about my first road trip to their club on Route 51 on the south side of Pittsburgh. I was SO not ready and on my first night I was short on time by about 8 minutes. I was the opener and very green and I just got frazzled and froze.

   I remember Keith getting in my face about it and scolding me for not doing my time. He was right and I knew he was right and it didn’t happen again…until I worked there for my first time as a feature act. I was supposed to do 30 minutes but I ran out of steam at about 17 or 18 and got off stage. Again, it was Keith who was right there to tell me what I did.

   Again, no complaints from me. I knew I blew it and it felt terrible, but at the time that’s the best I could do. I was ok the rest of the week, but nothing special. I was just another in an endless parade of mediocre to poor Caucasian comedian wannabes during that time of the comedy boom in the ‘80s. Most of the others have dropped out by now, but I stayed.

   Of the two brothers, Jeff was is the one who wanted to be a comedian. Keith joined him as a business partner, that’s about it. They’re two distinctly different people, but I’ve been around them both so long I can relate to each of them on an individual level. Keith is very much into flying and is a licensed pilot. We‘ll talk about his plane, but rarely any comedy.

   During the show tonight I saw Keith walk through the rear of the club and grab a table at the very back. I don’t recall him doing that very often if ever, so it got my attention. He usually just waits in the office or counts out the receipts or whatever club managers do.

Tonight I heard him laugh out loud countless times and after the show he came right up and shook my hand and told me how far I’d come since that first time and how much he enjoyed the whole show. In a strange way, it really made me feel like it was all worth it.

As luck would have it, I went a little long tonight because the audience was so fantastic. I told Keith it was me paying him back for the time I went short in 1984. I didn’t make a ton of money this week, but I got a lot of work done and am still in a positive mindset.

One Slick Negotiator

ItsMrLucky — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:01:39 GMT

Friday October 30th, 2009 - Cranberry, PA

   No show tonight but I’m not bummed out about it. This is a slow week and I knew that when I took the gig. We did have eight people show up so it wasn’t a total loss, but that’s still a little light to do a show. Not to say some places wouldn’t make us do one though.

   I’ve had to do shows for two people. More than once. One time I even had to do a show for ONE guy - and he was a heckler. No joke. In every case the club owner reasons if he’s paying us to do a show, we’re going to do one no matter what. This is another reason club owners get minimal support from comedians. That’s just plain stupid to make us do that.

   Nobody wants to be there and it makes everyone look bad. I’ve had classy places pay us out and call it a night. It’s not our fault if people don’t show up. They’re really buying our time for the night, not necessarily our act. We were there, but the crowd wasn’t. Too bad.

   On the other hand, I’ve seen plenty of clubs try to add additional shows over the years. I don’t mind, but be fair. One time I was working somewhere and the guy decided he could add an extra show during the Christmas season, but he was going to pay us half our price.

   In other words, we were scheduled for X number of shows that week for Y dollars and even though I was never good at math I think you can figure out the formula for how the pay scale worked out. Say it boiled down to $100 a show for the week. He would pay the $100 for the scheduled shows but only $50 for the added one. He assumed we’d all do it.

   I was just the opener back then and I really wanted the extra cash. No, I needed it. The headliner was a guy named Gary Kern, one of my early mentors. Great guy, great comic, horrible businessman. Common story in entertainment. He said he’d do it but I could tell he wasn’t thrilled about it. He hung his head and shrugged his shoulders and that was it.

   The feature that week was a guy named Kyle Nape, also a mentor. He and Gary did a lot of work together and that’s very smart. Kyle was a comedy magician and a perfect lead in opener for Gary, who was dry but absolutely hilarious. It was a very good blend of styles.

   Both those guys liked me and saw me as not only an up and comer, but someone they’d not want to strangle after being in a car for twelve hours. We went all over the country for many wonderful weeks of work until I was ready to feature myself and that was it. Those guys were both very instrumental in me getting started and I’ll forever be grateful for that.

   Gary passed away of a heart attack many years ago at the age of 36. Kyle is no longer in the comedy business but I did hear from him only a few years ago. I thanked him for how he and Gary took me under both their wings and he joked how they’d made a big mistake.

Anyway, back to the story. Kyle absolutely refused to do the extra show for the guy that night unless he got his full pay. The club owner was furious and the louder he hollered at Kyle the softer Kyle spoke. It was as if he enjoyed watching the guy squirm. And he did.

   The club owner was foaming at the mouth screaming about how there was going to be a room full of people in fifteen minutes and he needed to have comedians. Kyle said he had no problem doing an extra show, but only if it were for 100% of the price of the others for the week. Then he sat down and calmly started putting his magic tricks away in his case.

   I must admit it was fun watching the owner’s face turn purple and the wheels turn in his devious head. Then he came to Gary and me, trying to convince us of his logic. He told us since we were already there the money would be a bonus, not a rip off as Kyle saw it. He tried to spin it as a positive and quite frankly I was ready to jump at it. I needed that cash.

   Kyle picked up his case and said very calmly to the owner, “SO, what’s it going to be?” The owner looked out and saw a full room and told us he’d be right back. He went out to call the booker, which happened to be John Yoder of Funny Business. John spoke to Kyle and tried to convince him to do the extra show and just take the money, but Kyle said no.

   There was a lot of tension backstage and at one point Gary just asked Kyle to please do it and take the found money. Kyle had worked in the corporate world in Toronto and told us how we’d all thank him after we got our full pay. Sure enough, at show time the owner slithered backstage and snarled in Kyle‘s face, “All RIGHT…you’ll get the full money.”

   Kyle wasn’t finished. “ALL of us will get the full money?” The club owner was getting even more upset, and I didn’t think that was possible. “NO, just YOU.” Kyle wouldn’t let it go. “Sorry, we ALL are in this show together and we ALL need to get paid full price.”

   By now the guy wanted to strangle Kyle but it was time to start the show and he gave in rather than see if Gary and I would do it without him. It was a good old fashioned pissing contest and Kyle just plain out-pissed the guy. From that day on, Kyle Nape was my hero.

   We all discussed it the next day in the car, and Kyle said he refused to get treated LIKE an idiot, BY an idiot. He said he was prepared to walk away and that’s why he knew he’d get the money. The guy had a full room and needed us, even for only one night. Kyle said he wasn’t going to let the guy screw us and didn‘t care if he ever worked that place again.

   How many others would have had the stones to do what Kyle did then? Not many. I was willing to take half the money and so was Gary. Not Kyle. I really learned a lot from both those guys, but Kyle was king when it came to off stage business. No wonder he’s now in the corporate world again. Even he couldn’t stand a steady diet of comedy club oil cans.

   I know we’re not the only ones in entertainment to get screwed over though. Musicians, actors, strippers, you name it. Anyone who is in business as an entertainer has stories that make mine look like Sunday School lessons. Still, when it’s personal it hurts a lot more.

   No worries about tonight though. I had a great day of solid work and even got in a walk. The weather was again perfect and I’m in a creative wavelength that’s cranking out really strong ideas like water. I’m moving ahead and having fun doing it. This is how I like it.

Einstein Was Right

ItsMrLucky — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:38:24 GMT

Thursday October 29th, 2009 - Pittsburgh, PA

“Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices, but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills the duty to express the results of his thought in clear form.” - Albert Einstein, quoted in N.Y. Times, March 19, 1940.

    I’ve always had an affinity for Albert Einstein, mainly because we share a birthday of March 14th. That may be the only thing we have in common, but this quote rings as true now as it did when I first heard it years ago. Translation: Idiots don’t grasp true vision.

   That’s how I feel about this whole demented debacle with Giggles and Funny Business. I’m in a fantastic space in my head right now and who’d have thought a drive through the back woods of West Virginia would put me there? I wouldn’t have thought so, but it did.

   Yesterday’s drive was way too long and hectic at the end, but today was completely the opposite. The weather was perfect so I decided to take U.S. Highway 19 out of Bluefield heading north toward Pittsburgh. I wound through the mountains and through a bunch of secluded Mayberry like towns I’d never seen before. It put a whole new spin on all this.

   Not ONE of those people cared about any bounced checks or knew I was a comedian or the fact I was on national TV this year or anything else other than my car is red. I waved to people as I passed and they waved back. Most of them smiled and there was nothing to be angry about. This tiny little flea fart doesn‘t mean jack in the big picture. I‘ll survive.

   I was in a very creative mind space all day and stopped a few times to write down notes so I wouldn’t forget them. Trying to write on the steering wheel on those winding roads is a sure recipe for a fiery one car rollover. That would be a shame, because apparently I am aggravating some of the mediocre people with what I’m doing. I’m delighted to hear that.

   I never set out to piss people off so much, but throughout my life I sure have succeeded. Those few I clash with usually hang on like pit bulls with lockjaw and that means I made a lasting impression on them. The best way to piss them off even more is to ignore them.

   The wife of the Giggles owner is apparently telling anyone who’ll listen how evil I am. Good! She’s doing me a huge favor. Anyone that believes her will hopefully stay away so I can have more time for the quality people. I know a whole lot more of those anyway.

   I don’t want to deal with these insects anymore. I got a bum check but that will pass in time. That guy has to wake up next to her every single morning, so I win in the long run. She’s being a borderline stalker but I just delete all of her incessant emails and texts.

   They’re the ones that started it by bouncing the check. NOT acceptable. Then the Funny Business wouldn’t fight for me and that’s wrong too. I’ve goofed many times but not this one. I’m glad to see I’ve managed to get under their skin. It’s about time somebody does.

   I don’t wish anything bad on either of them, but I don’t have to. I think they will bring it upon themselves. Bouncing checks is THE cardinal sin in comedy and I’m not at all sorry I stood up for myself. They might not like how I did it but it sure captured some attention. I have special needs too - food, clothing and shelter. The comics need to be PAID. Period.

   There’s an old joke I always loved. It says “How do you give an idiot a small business? Give him a large one and wait.” I see how Giggles and Comedy Café and Funny Business have shrunk over the years and it’s no surprise. I predict all three will continue to spiral.

   The main reason is how they treat the comics. There is a complete lack of respect and I for one refuse to accept that from anyone who is clueless. None of them ever grasped the concept of what it takes to put on quality comedy shows and in a sense they’ve taken on a role of nothing short of pimps. We comedians are the whores, and we’re all disposable.

   For years there was an endless supply of comedians on all levels who needed work from agencies and clubs like these. We’d take any and all abuse they might dish out, thinking it would somehow get us ‘in’ to get those gravy gigs, but that never seemed to materialize.

   Instead, we’d get cancelled a week out because somebody like a Tommy Chong could be booked rather than us, and we’d be out of luck. No ‘Sorry’, no ‘Let me pay you for the inconvenience’, no NOTHING - just an empty week on the calendar with zero income.

   These kinds of things happen over and over in the comedy world but I don’t think most outsiders really care. Then they wonder why a comic snaps at a heckler. Year after year of being treated like a soggy cat turd will sour almost anyone. I myself have reached a limit.

   As I drove in the sunshine today it occurred to me what a favor Eric Yoder did by firing me. Thanks Buddy! Now I won’t have to secretly hope I’ll finally get paid back for all my years of loyalty and get to work a complete run of your rooms for decent money one after the other so I can clear out my financial backlog. Now I know I have to get on it myself.

   I always knew it, but I think we as dented cans seem to hope there will be some random phone call from a booker who has treated us like mud for years, suddenly changing a tune that hasn’t changed in decades. It’s like expecting a Nazi to suddenly crave a matzoh ball.

   I know I’m not the only one who feels this way in the comedy world, but I am probably one of the few who’ll discuss it. I can’t shut my mouth about it and if I lose work, it’s not anything to build my career anyway. If I have to drive a truck, at least I’ll have my dignity and self esteem, and I’ll know my way around the country from all my years on the road.

   We as comics will have to be entrepreneurial and book more of our own shows and just slide past these weasels. How hard can it be? I for one am not going to cower to whims of anyone I don’t respect, and if that means I get fired, I get fired. But, now they have a very experienced competitor who can not only do what they do, but BE the show as well. Let’s see who’s where a year from now. One club or booker does not a career quash. Game on!

Driving Myself Nuts

ItsMrLucky — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:29:37 GMT

Wednesday October 28th, 2009 - Bluefield, WV

   What an idiot I can be sometimes. Today was one of them. I accepted a gig in Bluefield, WV which is 714 miles from home. I’ve worked here before and should have known how far it is, but it’s been a while and I didn’t bother to look it up. I’ll surely not do that again.

   There were several reasons why I did it. First, Halloween week is usually pretty slow in the comedy business. Everyone is at parties and I totally get that. I had this week open so I took this gig and strung it together with a weekend in Pittsburgh. In theory, it’s smart.

   In reality, it’s a LONG drive for not enough of a payoff. In the old days there were a lot more one nighters to string together and I may have been able to put two or three stops on the tour before I got to Pittsburgh. Those are drying up quickly, and this is all I could find.

   Now I have a night off to fill, at my own expense of course. My friend Darryl Rhoads is working in Ft. Wayne this week at a club called Snickerz. I haven’t been there in years so I thought I’d not only hang out with Darryl but also poke my head in and see about work.

   Again, it didn’t seem that far but looking at it closer it’s 450 miles from here. Then it’s another 350 or so to get to Pittsburgh tomorrow. That’s too far and I admit in my old age I’m not nearly as bullet proof for driving as I used to be. I used to be able to grind it out.

   The times are surely changing on all fronts. I’m getting older, the gigs are getting fewer, gas prices are getting higher and I’m getting tired of it all. The thrill is long gone and now it’s just a chore. I said years ago if it ever got to be like that I’d quit. Well, it’s like that. If I keep doing it so haphazardly. I’ll never get out of this rut. It’s time to evolve gracefully.

   I’ll never quit enjoying the stage time, but the drives are getting longer. I stopped to see my friend Greg Phelps in Indianapolis on the way here. He’s a former comic that’s moved on and started his own business. We talked about the road life and he said he doesn’t miss it at all. His family gets to see him and he’s got a daily routine. What’s so bad about that?

   I guess everything has plusses and minuses but right now I wouldn’t mind having some routine in my life. I’ve seen the country and it’s beautiful but driving to Bluefield in a day doesn’t float my boat anymore. Even NASCAR drivers only have to drive for 500 miles.

   Greg and I talked about my CD project because that’s what his business does. He helps design packages and arrange orders and is very good at it. I’ll use him in some capacity to do both my comedy CD and also the recorded version of my comedy classes. He’ll do the job and I also want to see him get the business because he’s a quality guy and deserves it.

   I left Greg’s house and headed south on I-74 to Cincinnati. Then I went south on I-75 to Lexington, KY and east on I-64 to Charleston, WV. I didn’t need a map as I’ve driven all these roads many times before. I set the cruise control and popped in some tapes and used the time as a work day. I transformed my car into a mobile office and made the most of it.

   I laid out all of the notes I’ve been making lately about my comedy classes and took the best ideas and wrote them on a legal pad. I came up with a skeleton outline of three levels of classes and I was very happy with the results. This will be a thorough teaching course.

   I know I probably shouldn’t be writing when I’m driving but I put the legal pad right on the steering wheel and jot notes and catch phrases down as I watch the road. If I do crash head on into a pole at least I’ll die doing something I love. The notes can be saved also.

   As I was driving east on I-64, Kentucky became West Virginia and I passed through the town of Huntington. That’s the home town of Soupy Sales, who passed away last week. It reminded me of the week we worked together in Reno when I lived there. He was a trip.

   I don’t think younger people realize what a huge star he was in his day. We were sitting in a restaurant at the Reno Hilton where we were working when an older lady came up to Soupy and asked for an autograph. She was shaking with nervousness but Soupy signed a placemat and she just about jumped out of her orthopedic shoes. He made her whole year.

   I liked working with Soupy because I’m a student of the game and knew how much of a star he was in his day. He could sense I knew what I was talking about and his wife Trudy told me all week how much Soupy liked me and would laugh while I was on stage. What a sweetheart she was and probably still is. When I heard he’d passed I felt sad for her.

   At the end of the week we worked together Soupy asked me if I’d work a benefit show he did every year in Huntington. I told him I would if I was available and Trudy contacted me a couple of times over the years but I was never able to do it. I’m sorry that I wasn’t.

   Life is short and then it’s over. Soupy’s life came and went and mine will too. Whether or not I’m a big star doesn’t matter. It’s about doing what pleases ME. It used to be going from town to town doing comedy and seeing the country. Now I’ve seen it. That part isn’t the fun adventure it used to be so it’s time to revamp my plan. I’m the one in charge here.

   When I got to Charleston there was a horrific accident and traffic was completely halted on I-77. That wasn’t what I needed and I called the Holiday Inn and told them it would be a close call. If I was lucky, I’d make it just at show time. If not, I’d keep them posted as to where I was and we’d go from there. I could feel the stress coming on and I dreaded it.

   I inched through the accident scene and it took WAY too long. I then had to haul ass on I-77, which is a mountainous curvy toll road with all kinds of twist and turns. It was like a big video game as I raced at top speed to get to Bluefield, and I made it about an hour late only to find sixteen people sitting in the hotel lounge, calmly watching the World Series.

   Nobody cared if I was there or not. The bar manager Lori Bailey is a sweetie and I know her from last time I was here. She was glad I made it safely and wasn’t angry at all. There is no opening act anymore and they just have one comedian. I had to go up and do my set to sixteen people just after driving over 700 miles. This isn’t what I thought life would be.

Not Very Funny Business

ItsMrLucky — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:13:25 GMT

Tuesday October 27th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   There’s a disturbance in the force, and I think I like it. I received a terse email from Eric Yoder today telling me he was removing me from a show I had booked in Oconomowoc, WI in late November. He’s the son of John Yoder, owner of the Funny Business Agency.

   Coincidentally, it’s also the agency that books Giggles in Brookfield. I’ve been working on and off for John Yoder for over twenty years. Now he’s passing the reigns off to a pair of his sons and the inevitable shakedown is happening. The kids want their own people.

   I’ve never met Eric personally although we’ve had some email interaction. I first had an encouraging impression of him but today ended that idea. He said he’s firing me not only from the gig in Oconomowoc but also from ‘all future Funny Business work’. Whatever.

   The last several years have seen a steady decline in ‘all future Funny Business work’ as other bookers are taking many of their accounts. I used to work quite a bit for them but in the last few years that’s really tapered off. I don’t think I did anything for them last year.

   Giggles was the only gig I had for them this year, and that wasn’t anything due to them. My friend Shelley asked for me to do her reunion show and that’s why I got that booking. I mentioned it to Eric and all he could muster up for me was a pissy little Saturday out in Oconomowoc for lousy pay. I said I’d do it because it’s not far from where I’m living.

   It sure isn’t a career maker, and in fact NONE of their work is that. It’s close to Chicago and more of a convenience thing than anything else. Would it be ‘nice’ to work for them? Sure, I guess so, but ‘nice’ doesn’t cut it. I’ve been nice all my life and then this happens.

   What rubs my ‘nads raw is how it took place. Getting a smug email from a kid who has no clue what goes into a successful comedy show is just plain disrespectful and I refuse to take that from anyone. I hate to burn a bridge but I’ve done it before and it didn’t kill me.

   Neither will this. In fact it will indirectly make my life inherently better in the long run. At one point it was possible to rely on the John Yoders of the world to make a living with minimal hassle. The money wasn’t great but decent enough to keep bills paid and survive.

   In recent years it’s gone down not only in money but in quality of shows. It’s downright embarrassing to have to follow some of the horrific ‘acts’ that get booked by the agencies, especially Funny Business. Doesn’t anyone watch a tape anymore? No, they don’t care. It isn’t only me complaining about this either. Every veteran headliner has had to endure it.

   Young aspiring comics that can schmooze and party well get bookings and it’s up to us as competent headliners to carry the whole show. We’re penalized for excellence and I’ve been sick of that for years. There’s nothing wrong with being a mediocre or bad comedian but I have a major problem when there’s an attitude attached to it. That’s how it’s been on the road for years now, just because there are too many incompetent bookers allowing it.

   Actually, I’m surprised it took so long for this to happen. I saw the gig in Oconomowoc on my calendar and had a feeling it would get yanked. Those people have no idea how the world of comedy works. They’d rather do something like that out of personal spite than to book a quality show for the client at a ridiculously low price. The client is the loser here.

   The NFL allows wife beaters and dog killers and drug abusers and most any other rotten and disgusting villain play if they can get the job done. They don’t care about the off field quirks, they just want results. That should be the way it is with bookers too but it never is.

   I feel like Ray Liotta’s character in Goodfellas when Pauly gave him a stack of cash and said “Now I have to turn my back on you.” Liotta’s character said “$3200 for a lifetime.” That’s exactly how I feel right now, only I never got my $3200. But I did give a lifetime.

   I remember driving in blizzards in rattle trap cars hoping to get to the gig on time just so John Yoder could get his commission. Yes, I got paid, but was there ever even a little tiny thank you in return? NEVER. They never paid the guys back who did them giant favors.

   They didn’t have to because they knew some other desperate comic would jump at their phone call to do exactly the same thing. They had all the power and all the cards for years and they got spoiled. Now the playing field is changing but they’re still acting like royalty when in fact the game is passing all of us by. Funny Business is still living in the 1980’s.

   Unfortunately a lot of comedians are too. I admit, I haven’t been nearly as on top of it as I should when it comes to marketing on all levels and especially creating my own work so I don’t have to be beholden to the whims of some kid who got the power from his daddy.

   It would have been nice to get treated with some respect, but that never happened. Ever. I always had to fight and scratch and claw for work from them and I did get some over the years, but it was never their sweet ‘A list’ runs. I always got the leftover scraps and it was appreciated at the time but it could have been a lot better. John never really had a passion.

   He just filled holes in schedules and never had a clue as to how to put a show together. I don’t have a problem with a guy making a living but he should have sold shoes or paint. I don’t know why he chose comedy, other than he was in the right place at the right time.

   I don’t have anything personal against John Yoder, or even Eric. I let Eric have it with a detailed email of my own, pointing out the favors I’ve done for them and how it never did find a way back like it should have. If they want to fire a super strong headliner that’ll get to the gig and deliver and doesn’t drink or do drugs, that’s their loss. I’ll go around them.

   I’m really sorry it had to end this way but on the other hand I’m excited because it’ll be up to me to find new ways to make a living, which I am determined to do. The Yoders of the world have had their day, and it’s rapidly coming to a close. I will out hustle them and I can do one thing they can‘t - COMEDY. I can put together shows, but they can’t do any.

Monday Maintenance

ItsMrLucky — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:50:02 GMT

Monday October 26th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   For the first time in a long time, I had an entire Monday off. No comedy classes to teach or showcases to host at Zanies, no lunches scheduled with comedians or bookers or ladies I like, no trip into Chicago to pick up my mail. Nothing. Instead I used the day to continue pushing forward to keep momentum going. My battle with time management never quits.

   I enjoy teaching and hosting and lunching and hanging out but it did feel good to relax a little. Between the travel to weekend comedy shows and preparing for two radio shows, it can all be an energy drain. Then, having to come right back on Monday can be too much.

   My walking at the mall is getting to be a regular activity, but not yet habit. I’ll start for a while and then stop for whatever reason, usually because I’m on the road. I’m booked for the next two weeks so it will be a challenge to keep up. I’ve been doing well lately though and today I did four laps for the first time ever. I was toast by the end but I did get it done.

   I listened to Brian Tracy the first two laps but the second two I used to visualize what is really important to me. I pictured myself on stage in a theatre getting big laughs and being connected with the audience like I was in Minnesota last week. I also pictured myself in a class situation where there’s a room full of people having fun and learning about comedy.

   I pictured myself surrounded by friends and even a family. I visualized my money being plentiful and owing no bills and having no tax problems. I pictured my sports cards not in my life anymore and there being a deal made that both parties find fair and appealing so it isn’t painful. It takes effort to focus on a vivid picture but taking laps is the time to do it.

   I’m trying to compartmentalize my projects and I worked on that today as I watched the Monday Night Football game. I can’t remember the last Monday night game I was able to just sit and watch and it felt good, even though it wasn’t a great game. Still, I enjoyed it. It was a lesson to see the Redskins go down in flames even though their owner is mega rich.

   The lesson is, money is important but not the only thing. There has to be some kind of a plan in place and it has to be executed. Gramps was right, it really is a matter of balancing everything in life and most people aren’t able to achieve it. I’m trying to be one of the few who at least make a valiant attempt. I can feel myself doing a lot of the right things lately.

   There are still a lot more to do though. I tried to put a picture in my mind of how I want things to go in the next year or so. I made notes on a legal pad and the next step will be to make three ring binders and have step by step ‘to do’ lists for my comedy career, classes, Jerry’s Kidders, the Mothership Connection show, Uranus Factory Outlet and life itself.

   That might not be how everyone else works, but as for me I need to see it written down in order and have it right in front of me to check often. I need to start writing down goals for the following day the night before and also make weekly and monthly times to plan in advance the following weeks and months. I used my day off wisely and I‘m thrilled I did.

From Sink To Sync

ItsMrLucky — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:19:23 GMT

Sunday October 25th, 2009 - Minneapolis, MN/Kenosha, WI

   Another fantastic day for many reasons. First, it was totally worth driving all the way to Minnesota for just the one show last night. I’ve always liked the Twin Cities but have not been able to find a steady work base up there over the years. I’ve worked sporadically for various clubs and bookers but they’ve all either closed their club, sold it or passed away.

   Now that my foot is in the door, I am absolutely going to pursue it. It’s a super comedy town and always has been. There are quite a few successful comedians who have made an impact in the business that started up there including Louie Anderson and Mitch Hedberg and Tom Arnold, even though Tom was from Iowa originally. He moved to Minneapolis.

   So did Jeff Cesario, a fantastic comedian and great guy who is originally from Kenosha, WI. I asked Jeff why he didn’t go to Chicago and he thought Minneapolis was a better fit at the time because it had a better scene for standup. In retrospect, he was absolutely right.

   Joel Hodgson is another brilliant act who came out of Minneapolis. He was the original Mystery Science Theatre guy and very highly touted as I was coming up the ranks. I never met him but I’ve heard nothing but nice things and his work is respected by virtually all. I hear he’s writing for Disney now and I’d bet he’s earning some hefty coin. Good for him.

   At this stage in my career I have to choose markets I can develop fans, not just take any gig in a random hell hole to patch monthly money holes. No more holes, at least not on a steady basis. I’m done with that now. The whole Giggles nightmare totally soured me.

   Speaking of that, I talked with Tim Walkoe today. He’s a Chicago comic who was to be at Giggles this week but he ended up cancelling after he heard checks were bouncing. He asked for cash up front and apparently they wouldn’t give it to him so he backed out. I’m sorry he lost a week but glad he didn’t have to ski through the slalom of stupidity I did.

   What really hurts is he was scheduled to be paid $200 more than I was. Tim is hilarious and I don’t begrudge him the money, but it hurt that the booker and the owner would have a sliding pay scale. And if they did, it hurt even more that I wasn’t at the top of it. I’m one of the strongest acts by far they booked and have given the club free radio plugs for years.

   I also talked to John Roy and he’s scheduled to make even more than Tim. Again, I like John and think he’s not only very funny but an excellent business person, but it stings that I have been getting slighted on their pay scale. Their view of me was lower than I thought and it‘s a kick in the ass. Don‘t they know we comedians talk? Word gets out eventually.

   I refuse to let this get me down though. I’m going to choose to use it as a lesson to make me get paid more in the future. As frustrating and humiliating as the whole Giggles fiasco may have been, it was the polar opposite last night at the Running Aces gig. Those people were there to see a show and I was right in their wheelhouse. There are THOUSANDS of people like that in Minnesota and MILLIONS in North America. I want to find them all.

    It may have taken me way too long to do it, but I’m finally starting to get a grasp of the business part of the entertainment business. I’m seeing it in a whole new way, but it took a variety of sodomizations over a quarter of a century to open my eyes. Part of it was my own naivety but another part was just being lazy. I assumed things would just ‘work out’.

   How wrong I was, but I’m not going to allow myself to get angry about it. It was all part of the process of paying dues, and not only will I learn my lessons well, I’ll use all this for teaching purposes in the future. My comedy classes will have some business lessons also.

   Part of what put me in such a good space is that I’ve been packing my head with quality audio programs lately. I’m not saying I’m ‘cured’ and won’t get angry again, but I do feel myself changing my thinking process and it’s helping me feel better. My focus is healthy.

   Rather than thinking about how deeply I can bury a blunt instrument into a club owner’s skull, I’m thinking of ways to build mailing lists and get in with new venues and basically reinvent myself. That’s smart and healthy and if I do that it will take my mind off anger.

   I used the drive back for more education and growth. There was a Jiffy Lube right next to the hotel so I had them change both my oil and my blown headlight. The Vikings were playing so there was nobody in the joint and I got pampered service. It worked out exactly how it was supposed to and that’s where I want to remain. I feel in sync with the universe.

   On the way home I re-listened to most of an audio course by E. Joseph Cossman, a mail order business legend. If there was an entrepreneurial Hall of Fame, he’d be in it. He died several years ago but my own mail order mentor Melvin Powers speaks with reverence on how brilliant E. Joseph Cossman was. It is my desire to follow in both of their footsteps.

   They’re both solid business people and made millions working smartly and efficiently. I have done exactly the opposite and judging by where it’s gotten me, I need to completely change my tactics or resolve myself to a life of poverty. That’s not what I’m looking for.

   Seven hours in the car flew by as I popped tape after tape in my cassette player and tried to take notes as I drove. I got so into it I didn’t even listen to the Packer game. It felt a lot better to pack my head with business smarts so I kept that vibe going and I’m glad I made that conscious choice. A Packer game lasts for an afternoon. Success lasts for a lifetime.

   I want this diary to be a how to guide for other dented cans who aren’t satisfied with the hand they were dealt in life. There are some things I’ll never have no matter how famous or rich I get, but that’s not the point here. I know nothing will make up for a lack of what I think I missed out on in life, but having money and influence will help me help others.

   I made it to the WLIP studio about five minutes before the Mothership Connection was to go on the air. I usually hate to cut it that close but I was feeling so good I knew I would make it, and I did. Those three hours flew by too. We had a super guest and again all of it was in sync, exactly how it should be. I’m not finished, but I sure am making big strides.

Minnesota Nice

ItsMrLucky — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:16:19 GMT

Saturday October 24th, 2009 - Minneapolis, MN

   Now THIS is how I picture comedy is supposed to be. I worked a really fun show at the Running Aces Harness Track just outside Minneapolis tonight and enjoyed every bit of it. The whole experience was top shelf and it gave me hope there are people with a clue after all. Everything from the venue itself to the audience to the other comics were excellent.

   I’ve had this show on the books for a while and didn’t really know what to expect. Most casino shows aren’t that great unfortunately, even though everything else usually is. They almost always come with above average accommodations and a meal coupon, but the gig itself is usually free for the customers and they don’t pay attention to the show. Not here.

   This was exactly the opposite. They charged $15 a ticket and the people kept coming in right up to show time. They must have had over 200 people in a beautiful room with a hot sound system that could be heard everywhere. These people came to laugh and they were a spectacular audience. I did just under an hour but time flew because it was such a blast.

   The other comedians were newer but very nice and we all got along very well. We were a good fit and there were no problems or clashes with material or anything like that. Wild Bill Bauer is a Minneapolis comic who also co-booked the show and he came out and did a few minutes to get things going before bringing up the host. That was a nice addition.

   Like I said, EVERYTHING about this show was right. They put me in a Country Inn & Suites which was not only very nice, but close to the gig as well. Within thirty seconds of walking in the door at the show I had my check from Bill and it was the same pay I had to fight for from Giggles for doing an entire week of brutal shows with a filthy opening act.

   After the show I had people lining up to tell me how much they enjoyed it and I finally remembered to bring along cards to pass out so I can get a mailing list going. Three single hottie women begged to get a picture with me and we hung out for a while and then all of the comics went to get something to eat at the casino restaurant. It was like the old days.

   To top it all off the special tonight was twin lobster tails and I had to pull the trigger on that. It seemed like a fitting end to a spectacular night and we all sat around talking about comedy, but in a good way. The other guys were young and eager to learn and didn’t have any axes to grind…yet. I told them to stay that way if they could. It’s not that easy to do.

   This wasn’t a day to piss and moan about anything. I have a headlight out on my car but that can wait. With all the doom and gloom in the comedy business lately I wanted to take in every bit of positive energy I could about today. The show was killer, the comedians on it were very nice guys, the hotel was really good, I wish every gig would work like this.

   There’s really no reason they shouldn’t, other than people who aren’t comedians run the booking end of it. Wild Bill Bauer and his partner Rox Tarrant are both comics so they’re on top of it and I’d work for them anytime. This was totally worth it and I’m glad I came.

Son Of A Glitch

ItsMrLucky — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:49:45 GMT

Friday October 23rd, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   Just when I thought I was starting to get a teeny tiny itsy bitsy wee little half a smidgen of momentum going in the pursuit of my dreams, BANG - here comes the old unexpected shot in the dark mystery glitch out of nowhere to throw me off course and into the ditch.

   I’ve been making healthy progress on my new CD project lately. Donna Gurda has been working on the actual recording master and should have a finished product soon from the sound engineer she’s been using for years. I’ll get billed fairly and I know it’ll sound good too. Donna knows what she’s doing and between the two they’ll make sure it’s not a dud.

   Today I talked with my friend Greg Phelps in Indianapolis. He’s a former comedian but has started his own business duplicating CD projects. He got off the road to spend time at home with his family and I never fault a guy for that. He’s the guy I want to have help me because I’ve known him over twenty years. I know he’s honest and knows entertainment.

   Greg and I went back and forth for about a half an hour exchanging ideas of what we’re each thinking the project will be. He’s got practical experience in printing all kinds of CD projects and I wanted to see if there were any new gimmicks I could use to get noticed.

   I spent an extra chunk of money on my last one because I wanted it to look professional, which it did. That was a few years ago and I had a financial cushion because I had my job at the Loop. I had the cash so I did it up right. I invested in myself and I’m very glad I did.

   I don’t have that luxury now but I’ll still find a way to make it the absolute best looking and sounding product I can for whatever money I can scrape together. I know both Donna and Greg will work with me and I’ll pay them both back many times over. I appreciate the help and I’d do the same for both of them and they know it. This will be a shoestring job.

   The one thing I wasn’t worried about was the cover art. Of course, that’s the part that is turning out to be the glitch. I received a phone call tonight from Pedro Bell, asking if I’d received the final copy of my artwork yet. I told him I hadn’t, and he sounded quite upset.

   I’d been dealing with an assistant of his and apparently they’ve just had a major falling out eerily similar to the one I had with my ex business partner. Pedro sounded like he was near tears at first, but then explained that he needs to use assistants because he has health issues that affect his vision. I’d heard he did, but I was still thrilled to be able to hire him.

   The person I dealt with kept putting off the final product, saying it would be ‘done very soon’. I assumed Pedro was either busy or in ill health and I didn’t complain about it. It’s always been my dream to have him do a cover for me so I figured waiting was worth it.

   Apparently the assistant told Pedro the work was finished and that’s why Pedro was so upset. He was very apologetic and said he didn’t do business ‘that way’ and I believe him. I’d always heard he was an honest guy and I told him not to worry about it. We’ll fix it.

   James Wesley Jackson used to open for Funkadelic and he’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. James knew Pedro very well and swears by him and that’s good enough for me. If James says someone’s ok, that’s all I need to hear. Still, the timing is unbelievable.

   Pedro said my project and another one he was working on got affected by this mess. He told me the story of how he found out and it was way too similar to mine. He said he had to fire the guy and end a business relationship that went back going on thirty years. He is rightfully upset and I told him I could unfortunately relate, but that doesn’t make it better.

   I really feel bad for the guy. I’ve enjoyed his artwork since I was a kid in the ‘70s and to hear he got hosed by a business partner just frosts my ass to no end. I met him at the show when Funkadelic was in town and he is NOT a millionaire. Far from it. He works hard to make a living and apparently the guy who ripped him off has a well paying cushy job.

   There isn’t much I can do about any of this other than wait for the dust to settle. Pedro’s health requires he has an assistant and I have to wait until he gets a new one in place. I am still hoping to get the CD out soon, but it won’t be Friday November 13th like I’d hoped.

   Welcome to life, business, show business, whatever you want to pin this on. People just do what they do, and it stinks. I still don’t think my ex partner thinks he did a single thing wrong. In his mind, he ‘borrowed’ a ‘few bucks‘, and I ‘overreacted’. I’m still pissed now but that won’t bring the rest of the money back. Pedro and I both have to keep slugging.

   I’ll get the artwork when the time is right. Pedro apologized several times and we talked for almost an hour. I wish we could have spoken under better circumstances because I am such a huge fan of his work. Anyone who knows Funkadelic album covers knows who he is, and even though most of my fans probably don’t, I couldn’t care less. It’s a huge thrill.

   At least I did see the black and white sketch and it’s really fantastic. I told Pedro I loved it and he was glad to hear that. He was worried I’d be angry, but far from it. I knew he did his part, it was apparently the other guy who was supposed to finish the colorization part.

   This will get fixed and I’ll release the CD and nobody will know the difference. I’m still in a good mental place and today I tried to practice more balance. Gramps would be proud of me because I’m putting in solid effort lately and even I can feel progress. I’m growing.

   I had another lunch with Marc Schultz today and that’s always positive. He’s getting an interest from my Late Late Show DVD and thinks I will be getting more work in the new year. That’s great news and after lunch I went to the Gurnee Mills Mall to keep walking.

   I did three full laps today and I was exhausted at the end, but also exhilarated. I listened to a Brian Tracy CD and I always enjoy his programs. He spoke about putting big picture type business plans in place for an individual life and it was really interesting. It’s a much more productive walk when I have stuff like that soaking into my brain. I’m glad I started doing it. I’ll be able to work my way through this latest glitch, but it sure was unexpected.

The One Word Secret

ItsMrLucky — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:06:28 GMT

Thursday October 22nd, 2009 - Mt. Prospect, IL/Naperville, IL

   One of the greatest books that’s ever helped me figure out the mysteries of life the most was written by of all people my grandfather. It’s jam packed with wisdom and humor and all kinds of great stories, and there’s a healthy dose of reality in it too. It’s a true classic.

   It was written with love and every chapter has a well thought out purpose. It’s not fancy or long, but it does have quite a few vivid pictures and a bittersweet ending. The sad parts are a downer but the happy parts by far make up for it. I refer back to it every single day.

   Gramps never actually published his book but he did write the manuscript in an unusual place - inside my heart. He spent quality time with me for years, planting seeds, knowing I wasn’t yet ready for most of what he was saying. Those seeds sprouted and are now full grown healthy fruit bearing trees that have sustained me through some very tough times.

   I’m not claiming to be free of mistakes, but I know Gramps helped me make the best of my life’s circumstances. He opened doors in my head that would’ve been shut forever had it not been for him making a point of passing on a few tips he’d acquired on his journey.

   I was thinking of one of his wisest teachings today. He told me the one magic word that is the true secret to success in any life is balance. Balancing everything is no easy task and Gramps used to say very few if anyone ever manages to do it. If one thing gets going well, everything else is left undone. Then when that gets attention, the original thing unravels.

   It sort of made sense as a kid, but it couldn’t be clearer now. If someone devotes time to career, family life struggles. Vice versa is also true. It’s true all around. If someone works out physically but doesn‘t read, the brain rots. Everything requires time and energy and if anyone spends too much time on any one thing it throws that life out of delicate balance.

   I tried for balance today in honor of Gramps. I went to my accountant to sign my return, but at least taxes are done for another year. I’ll actually be getting a couple of bucks back so it wasn’t horrible, but I really need to get better at this so I can avoid a hassle next year.

   After that I went to see my friend Todd Hunt speak to a group in Naperville, IL. He was excellent and I learned by watching. Then we went for lunch to further discuss how to get a marketing plan in place. I wanted to pick Todd’s brain after seeing him work, and I did.

   Tonight I sorted some sports cards and kept that plate spinning, even though I want the whole load of them gone ASAP. If I let them sit, it won’t get them out of my life. I really need to chip away at it until I sort them all into categories, then get the best price I can.

   I also worked for a while on booking guests for The Mothership Connection radio show and also looked at my own bookings for the new year. Then I looked over my class lesson plans and banged out some work on that too. I heard from a woman I really like so I spent time talking to her. Oh, I got my walk in too. Gramps was right, balance is no easy task.

The Esoteric Agenda

ItsMrLucky — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:15:43 GMT

Wednesday October 21st, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   Someone I know turned me on to an internet film called ‘The Esoteric Agenda’ recently and I finally got some time today to watch it. It’s the same person who told me about ‘The Zeitgeist Movement’ and I found that to be interesting also. If you get a chance to watch it you may find it either fascinating or repulsive but that’s your call. It’s at www.veoh.com.

   I really don’t know what to believe anymore. Since I’ve started hosting The Mothership Connection radio show I’ve been delving more into these kinds of topics for the show but I’ve always had an interest in them, even as a kid. There has to be more than just this little bitty speck of a planet we’re on and even that seems to be too much for humans to handle.

   The Esoteric Agenda covers everything from religions to conspiracies to that one world government I’ve been hearing about since I was a kid. That seems to be more and more a distinct possibility with every passing day and nobody seems to think the future is bright.

   What the hell is happening around us? Is there really a group of elite ultra rich that has a plan to wipe out 90% of the current world’s population? Is the Swine Flu all a big hoax to dupe us into taking the vaccine, which will do more to hurt us than help us? Is everything a big sham, including the government and the Federal Reserve System? Many think so.

   It sure is hard to be funny when I keep seeing things like this everywhere I look. I get all kinds of things forwarded to me and I’m getting burned out on looking at them because it paints a picture of doom and gloom. I think I’m starting to see why so many people drink.

   Still, I wonder what the real truth is? One person I think does an excellent job of getting his points across and informing people is David Icke. His website is www.davidicke.com and he’s got several fascinating books and videos that really put a new light on all of this. People thought he was a wackadoo for years but now he’s proving to be right on target.

   Global conspiracies and mind control and the New World Order aren’t what I hoped my life would involve at this juncture but I guess it’s unavoidable. Look how much the world has changed in the past twenty years alone. My grandfather died in 1981 and I don’t think he’d recognize the place if he came back today. We’ve seen dramatic changes since then.

   I for one am not liking what I’m seeing in the world. I see too many innocent people not getting what they need and that’s just plain wrong. When greed rules, those in charge take everything for themselves and leave everyone else to twist in the wind. Does it have to be that way? Am I that naïve to think there’s enough of everything in the universe for us all?

Seeing all of this insanity going on makes me feel totally insignificant. All I ever wanted was to get some laughs and make people happy for a while. I don’t want wars or religious oppression or government tyranny or anything like that. I want fun. What planet has that? Peace would be nice too. Justice for everyone couldn’t hurt either, could it? I’m sure glad this life eventually ends, because at some point I hope to end up in a place I fit in better.

Hard Luck Jollies

ItsMrLucky — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:46:13 GMT

Tuesday October 20th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   It’s time for a new CD. I recorded a whole week of shows at Zanies in Chicago in 2007 and I tried to do every scrap of material I’d ever done so I’d have variety to choose from. I was hoping to cut it up into two, maybe three separate products but it hasn‘t been done.

   At the time I was still working with my business partner and he arranged the recording project by hiring a sound engineer to come in and plug into the system at Zanies. The first couple of shows didn’t thrill anyone as I remember but the weekend shows were all solid.

   The last thing I enjoy doing is watching or listening to myself. I never did. I heard it as I did it and that’s enough for me. Rodney Dangerfield said he didn’t like it either because if he made even one little mistake that’s what he’d focus on, not everything that went right.

   I can relate to that very much. If I don’t like it I’ll want to do it over and maybe I’ll do it differently and not make it as good as the original take. I like to think I have good instinct and know what I’m doing on stage so I just leave it at that. I heard them laugh. It worked.

   This project has been on hold since my business partner pulled his little embezzlement stunt right at the time when we were going to start releasing products every six months or so. That was the plan but the plan got put on hold. Until now. I can use something to sell.

   I released my first CD back in 2003. It doesn’t seem like that long ago but it was. It was recorded in Louisville, KY but I sold the rights to it to Laughing Hyena Records, the guys who put out the truck stop comedy recordings where Jeff Foxworthy first got noticed. I’ve been without product to sell because they now hold all the rights to that particular project.

   The deal was they hold ownership to the recording, but not the actual material. I am free to record it again so that’s what I did. I switched the order on some of the bits and made a few better and eliminated others. I made significant progress in the years since Louisville.

   Now I have to get something out to show for it. Donna Gurda is helping me finish it and she understands the process as she produced Tom Green’s music projects for years. She is very good at details and I’m not but her mother’s been sick and that delayed this project.

   Her mom passed away and now she’s ready to get going again. I also have the cover art I hired Pedro Bell to do, who was the artist on many of Funkadelic and George Clinton’s CD projects in the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s. That alone was a thrill and I can’t wait to see it all come together as a finished product. It’ll be better than the last one and that didn’t suck.

   The last one was called ‘Lucked, Plucked, and Just Plain…Funny’. I’m going to call the new one ‘Hard Luck Jollies’, as a tribute to Funkadelic’s ‘Hardcore Jollies’. I asked Pedro Bell to model it after the original artwork and he absolutely nailed it. He did a spectacular job and those who know the original will be blown away. I was. For those who don’t have a clue of who Funkadelic is, it’s still very unique and will stand out. It’s time to release it.

Heads Up For Hannibal

ItsMrLucky — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:09:12 GMT

Monday October 19th, 2009 - Chicago, IL

   I took three laps in the Gurnee Mills mall this morning and I felt like I’d conquered Mt. Everest. I was worn out at the end, but the feeling of accomplishment was worth it. I also felt the blood pumping and the sweat flowing and the soreness in my legs. It was all good.

   I added a new twist today. I brought a Discman CD player and listened to a program by Wayne Dyer called “Secrets Of The Power Of Intention” as I walked. I love Wayne Dyer. His programs always make me think and this is one of his best. It has a lot of solid points.

   One of the things the program talks about is how important it is for everyone to work on being a creative being and tapping into that force which is inside of all of us. It spoke very loudly to me and it was the exact thing I needed to hear right now. I tried to soak it all in.

   Most self help programs boil down to a few basic points. The main one is, the mind is a powerful entity and we are in control of ours if we choose to be. Great things have gotten accomplished when people have chosen to use their minds to attain whatever they desire.

   Another main point is that the Law of Attraction really works. We get what we focus on because our mind attracts what we think about. Too many people, myself included, aren’t where they want to be because they don’t do the proper things it takes to achieve the goal.

   Worse than that, most people don’t have any goals at all. Then they bitch and moan that life isn’t what they want it to be. I’ve been guilty of that myself but who hasn’t? Listening to audio programs won’t guarantee success but filling my mind with thoughts like this is a great way to get it kick started to DO something. I’m finally starting to take action on this.

   Meeting with the people I’ve been meeting with has been totally positive. I choose only those I think have the best potential for making win/win situations and today I had dinner with Bill Gorgo. He’s a real teacher by day but also a life long comedy student, as am I.

    After dinner we sat down and went over each lesson and he helped me divide it up into order of importance. His teaching experience helped me organize and it was productive to bounce ideas off of him. This is how to get better and I can feel improvement everywhere. This might be taking longer than I thought, but I’m finally making a plan and executing it.

   I hosted the showcase at Zanies in Chicago and it was another red hot show. The crowd and lineup of comics were both on and that’s always a pleasure. Hannibal Burress was on the show and this kid has nothing but talent. He’s 26 and WAY farther along than I was at that age. He lives in New York now and is doing all the right things. I predict a big career.

   The kid has a natural gift and is working hard at developing it. That’s rare. Usually only one prevails - a gift or work ethic. One without the other is wasted. Hannibal has a shot to really be huge, and you heard it here first. His website is www.hannibalhannibal.com. If I had to pick one kid to watch, he’d be it. Get on his bandwagon and tell him I sent you.

Team Dynamics

ItsMrLucky — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:59:57 GMT

Sunday October 18th, 2009 - Kenosha, WI

   Green Bay Packers win, Chicago Bears lose. Any time that happens it’s a splendiferous day in my world. I’m ashamed to admit that I feel that way, but I do. I’m a Packer fan for life and no matter how much I say I don’t care about who wins or loses, I know I‘m lying. I wish I could just turn off that switch inside me but I can’t find the fuse box. I’m hooked.

   The Packers weren’t shown in the Chicago market so I took that as a sign to keep going on my projects and get something productive done instead. Sitting around for three hours shouting obscenities at a TV isn’t going to get me anywhere but a mental health facility.

   I don’t have to watch the games anymore, I just want to know the outcome. This wasn’t a marquee match up and in fact I heard it was an ugly game, even though the Packers won 26-0. They played the Detroit Lions who were riddled with injury. That’s like getting into a fist fight at a nursing home. A victory doesn’t mean much but it feels good to kick ass.

   I’m interested in kicking ass with a purpose. Life is a much tougher opponent than some old croaker in a convalescent center and I have to deal with getting hit back. Hard. I don’t have three hours on a Sunday to waste watching football right now so I’ll use that time to better myself while most of the rest of America is rotting on a couch in a pigskin trance.

   That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy that and won’t be doing it in the future, but for now it’s more important to keep the positive momentum going. Step by step I’m starting to get my battle plan together and am surrounding myself with the most skilled people I can think of to team up with in every area so I can make a team that gets us all where we want to go.

   I’ve got Marc Schultz in place for handling corporate bookings. I’ve got Jerry’s Kidders to give me something fun to be part of on the radio, as well as the Mothership Connection on WLIP in Kenosha, WI. Those are two teams of outstanding people that make me show up every week just because I enjoy their company. I‘m laying the foundation for success.

   I’ve got Todd Hunt to help me with a promotional campaign and Vince Vieceli to help align my lesson plans with classes and one by one I’m putting people in place that have a special knack for whatever particular facet I need to develop. Shelley handles my web site but she’s working full time now so I’ve got some others lined up to help out in that area.

   I’m working on finding people for all areas. Bill Gorgo is helping me with classes and it fits perfectly. He’s funny, knows what he’s talking about and we get along great. Zanies is still booking me and lets me do pretty much whatever I want when it comes to teaching at their locations so I’ve got a great base of operations in Chicago. There are some positives.

   I’m also weeding out the leakers. The numbers game of life is such that if I run across a weenie I really don’t have to have any interaction with him or her very long. I can choose to go around them or ignore them but I don’t have to let them bother me like they used to. That alone is an empowering concept. Why waste time on imbeciles without any vision?