Mother's Day to my soul mate

cbowers — Sat, 10 May 2008 21:06:18 GMT

This year I had already decided not to get flowers or a card for my mother, not because I don't love her but because I don't even know where all the cards are that I have received in the past. I decided instead to dedicate every Sunday to spending time with her and my daughter. So we will have Mother/Daughter Day every Sunday as a way to celebrate our connection. Overall though I am glad there is a day to celebrate motherhood.

I was thinking about Mother's Day and how proud I am of my kids. I thought to myself wow; I couldn't celebrate this day if it weren't for them. And while my son is older and I am a mother because of him, my daughter's existence made me into a good mother.

Not to say my son doesn't need me to mother him, it's just different. A boy needs his mother to teach him how to have compassion, how to treat a woman…which of course is extremely important.

My friends that only have boys don't necessarily have it easier than I do having one of each, but there is a distinct difference. I truly believe that it takes a man to teach a boy to be a man. My daughter on the other hand is who she is because of me. Right or wrong good or bad she is the direct result of my parenting and mothering skills.

Someone said recently that she looks like me and I said no that she is beautiful…he said yes she is a younger version of you. I thought for a moment about that, and prayed to God that she could learn some (all would be asking too much) lessons from me and would not have to go through what I did. I thought she is much better than I was at 16; she is confident, happy and strong willed. She speaks her mind and is a leader not a follower. While that is who I am today, at 16 I was meek and insecure.

So today on Mother's Day I reflect on my voyage with her becoming a woman and how close she is to being one. I realize that the connection I have with her is stronger than any other connection I have ever had in my entire life. She lived in me and she will have the same miracle happen to her one day. Not only has she made me into a better mother, but a better woman as well.

A daughter is born with inner nurturing and compassion that all women have. But a daughter does need to know from her mother how to love herself, which can't be taught but has to be learned through example. So to me having a daughter is harder because I have those two little eyes watching me and learning how to love herself from my example.

Because of my daughter, I make better decisions. I don't have men come in and out of her life. I don't stay in a relationship that is disrespectful toward me, her or my son. I don't move from place to place, from house to house. I don't use drugs. I pay my bills. I smile. I laugh. I love myself.

I love my self because of the example my mother showed me. And I decided that my mother had everything to do with who I am as a woman today. I have watched her and while most of the time I had to learn the hard way, she was a good example. The example I hope I am to my daughter.

I celebrate our connection, and I am blessed to have had her in the room both times, but especially when I became the mother of a daughter. My father calls us triplets and I think how special that is. To have the experience to have a mother/daughter/granddaughter relationship, no words can express how privileged I feel. I struggle with what I call my mother and daughter. Best friend it just not enough. I have said that I gave birth to my best friend; even though I am not hers…she is 16 after all. But really what do I call them? I hate to say it but I truly believe that they are both my soul mates. I was meant to pass through the life of one and live inside her and the other was meant to pass through my life and live inside me! So today I say Happy Mother's Day to my soul mate…the divine blessing I received the day I was born to Lillie. Also, today I thank the Lord for another divine blessing, being able to give birth to Shondra.

Blog entries for cbowers

Mother's Day to my soul mate