Ha Ha Funny: Realizing they seem to be lacking a sense of humor while on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate hire striking Screen Writers Guild writers to put some zest in their spiel. Faithful GOP followers, however, still don't get it.

Tough Ticket: Thinking that no one is taking her presidential effort seriously, Hillary Clinton, in a nationwide broadcast, summarily executes her campaign staff to show the world she has the cojones to bomb Third World countries into oblivion as well.

Plundering Pakistan: Seeing a dwindling number of Third World invasion possibilities, President Bush orders an assault on Pakistan in order to restore democracy and eliminate weapons of mass destruction. Bush is thus praised for his insightfulness and hitting the right target this time.

Furry Fun: Mink farmers are accused of using human growth hormones to enhance their product. Men everywhere are found flocking to furriers after seeing the end result, a furry version shaped like Paris Hilton.

Favre Plays On: Shocking the world, Brett Favre announces he will retire -- at the end of the 2020 -- in order to hold the record for being the oldest player ever to play the game. In the meantime, he runs for governor of Mississippi and gets a reprieve from his political duties in order to play football. After hearing the news, Aaron Rogers falls into the Fox River and drowns.

The Coach K Way: Seeing his team lacking a fundamental defensive mindset, Bucks coach Larry Krystkowiak dons his old uniform and hits the court once again. The coach becomes a convenient target since he's easily spotted wearing the old-style short shorts.

The Power of the Pen: After seeing the success of his wife Tonette's e-mail begging for campaign money, Scott Walker drops out of the Milwaukee County executive race in favor of his wife.