A Midsummer Night's Nightmare
A fable in one act
Debuts July, 2008

(SCENE: THE GENERAL MANAGER'S OFFICE OF A NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE TEAM. WE SEE TOM THOMAS, THE GENERAL MANAGER AND HIS COACH, MARTY MCGRATH, IN THE OFFICE)

Marty: (LOOKING AT WATCH) They're gonna call in just a minute.

Tom: (TESTILY) I know. I know.

Marty: Don't get so testy.

Tom: Testy! What the hell do you know from testy? You're just the coach. This is my team. What am I going to tell them?

Marty: It's up to you. But geez, there ain't that many chances to get to the Super Bowl. These chances don't come around that often. And I think we'd have a chance, a good chance, with him next year.

Tom: We've got to think about our future.

Marty: Our future? Our future is now. We're like the Brewers and that guy, CC something. Hell, they know you don't get many chances. Their future is now and our future is now.

Tom: But what about Faron Dodgers? We promised him the spot. We said he's the guy. He'd be awfully upset.

Marty: Tom, get serious. This is the NFL. Since when do we care about feelings? Plus, we really don't know much about how he's going to do. He could be another Rich Campbell or something. Who knows if he can stand up to the pounding? He sure hasn't so far.

(SOUND: THE PHONE RINGS AND WE HEAR TWO VOICES ON THE OTHER END. THEY ARE QUARTERBACK RHETT BUTLER AND HIS AGENT, SAM "STREETCAR" CHEF)

Streetcar: Hello Tom. Hello Marty.

Tom: Hello Streetcar. And hi, Rhett.

Rhett: Yeah.

Streetcar: Let's get right to it. No bull anymore.

Rhett: Yeah.

Streetcar: So, you want him back, or not?

Tom: Well...

Marty: (INTERRUPTS) I do. I do. I think we could go to the Super Bowl with him.

Rhett: Yeah.

Tom: But we've got a problem.

Streetcar: You're tellin' me. But WE ain't got no problem. You got the problem, Tommy boy.

Rhett: Yeah.

Tom: See, I told everyone we were moving on and doing what was best for our team. And we're kinda set, here. I mean we've been planning and we had OTA's with Faron and all that. We're really set.

Marty: (GROWING INCREASINGLY PANICKED AND FERVENT) No we aren't. We aren't. Not really. Not at all. We're flexible. Very flexible. We're not set. Not set. No sir, we sure as hell aren't all set. Not us!

Tom: Shut up, Coach!

Marty: (LOOKS AT TOM SHEEPISHLY) Well, we aren't.

Streetcar: Listen, Tommy boy. It's not like we'd force you into some brand new offense or something. Just go with the old stuff and we'd all be fine. We need an answer here, Tommy boy. If you ain't takin' him back, well then, just like you, we gotta move on.

Rhett: Yeah.

Tom: Well, you could come back as a second-stringer. We could have you back up Faron.

Streetcar, Marty, Rhett: (IN RAPID SUCCESSION) You've got to be kidding!

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