No matter how much either side wants to admit it, the upcoming labor war in baseball is like the elephant in the back of the room. It's impossible to ignore. The first pitch has yet to be thrown and already the upcoming season is psychologically compromised. No matter what conciliatory words are spoken, you can hear the owners' war drums pounding in the distance.

The A-Rod contract was Pearl Harbor and the follow-up greed from Barry Bonds, Frank Thomas and Gary Sheffield represented the naked financial aggression that owners will be determined to crush this time at the labor table. Enjoy the summer and then hunker down.

--As bad as the XFL ratings have been, let's not forget which "major" sport owns the record for lowest prime time rating in network history. It's the NHL, with Game 3 of last year's Stanley Cup Finals notching a mere 2.3 national rating on ABC on a Saturday night.

There are plenty of reasons why hockey fails to score on TV like the NFL, NBA or MLB. And it's not just that the puck is hard to see. Otherwise, the glowing blue electronic "urinal puck" by Fox would have boosted ratings.

A big part of the problem, is too many foreign born players with utterly incomprehensible names. Pavol Demitra. Nikolai Khabibulin. Dmitri Khristich. Or, my favorite, Stan Neckar. Which is pronounced, "nets-CASH" not "neck-CAR" as you would think.

No guy in Kentucky named "Bubba" will get into a league whose stars have these kind of names. Baseball has plenty of non-Americans, but they have names that are simple to pronounce and even easier to remember. Names like Juan Gonzalez and Pedro Martinez. There's a good chance you know a guy named Juan or Pedro. If you know someone named Nikolai or Dmitri, you are probably a spy.

The NHL should immediately issue all foreign-born players with Eastern European names, a new "stage name" while playing in the league. Some cool hockey "stage names" could be "Billy Rocket," "Whammer Jones" and "Max Blade." Hey, if it's good enough for strippers and weathermen...

--One more reason why the NBA is going straight to hell and why sports fans are so cynical these days: Shane Battier. The Duke forward spent four years in college and is, without question, the nation's best all-around player. He has a killer long range shot for a rugged forward, uncanny defensive instincts and a leader's mentality.

He's an absolute no-risk proposition as a person and as a pro. Our cynicism comes when we know that probably two kids out of high school will be drafted ahead of Battier this June. These punks have no credentials, no accomplishments and no clue how to really play the game. But the NBA and its coaches will drink the suicide Kool-Aid known as "potential" and "upside." May the league, as we now know it, rot in hell.

--It cost the Buccaneers exactly $100 to pick up Ryan Leaf off of waivers last week. I always wondered why the NFL made teams whip out the Benjamin for these transactions. Did they not think being placed on waivers was humiliating enough for a player? There are, ahem, how shall I put this? Ummm, let's say "services" that you can't get for $100 on most street corners. But you can get a washed up former number-two overall pick. Go figure.