As if Major League ballplayers aren't doing enough these days to disgust the average fan with our "national pastime," along comes ESPN and the Little League World Series.

What was once cute five years ago, has become an overstuffed microcosm of life in the bigs.

Teams are juicing their lineups with 13 year olds like Ken Caminiti gobbles nandralone. Miked-up coaches are strutting back in forth for the ESPN cameras while trying to sound like miniature Joe Torre's and Lou Pinella's.

And the kids are acting like bigger jerks than Barry Bonds when his Ferrari isn't detailed properly. Did you see the young punk from Harlem who stood outside the batters box, pointed to the outfield with his bat, and then doubled off the center field fence? Standing on second base, he gestured wildly by pulling at his own shirt as if to say "get off of me!"

Am I the only one who thought his coach should have benched him that instant? Apparently so.

I don't know about you, but I'm blaming television first and asking questions later. After all, what was once a nice little 21/2 hour spot on ABC's Wide World of Sports, has become a two week programming marathon for ESPN in the dead zone that is August.

You think these kids don't watch "SportsCenter?" You think they don't notice that Little League highlights have now become standard fare at 11 p.m. on the "sports leader?" Hard to imagine that only 10 years ago, running highlights of a Little League game on SportsCenter would have been viewed as insane, much less good programming.

These are kids, people. Not even professional sports events "mean" anything in the real world. The relevance of outcomes in Little League games can't even be measured by the most powerful electron microscope.

Has anyone ever stopped to think: this is all utterly ridiculous?

Certainly not ESPN. They no doubt threw a few hundred grand at Little League of America for the rights to set up their production truck at Williamsport, and nobody said a peep. Yeah, maybe more TV exposure can help fund struggling Little League districts or supplement existing programs, but is it worth the unseemly package of negatives that comes with it?

Danny Almonte's saga last year was the equivalent of the Black Sox scandal in baseball. Like the Black Sox, Almonte put the curse of dubious credibility on the whole notion of kids just having fun. Shaking it will be tougher than hitting one of his fastballs from 45 feet away.

If you think Almonte's coaches and family pushed this fraud and risked the Rolando Paulino league's eligibilty just because little Danny would have a "fun" weekend in central Pennsylvania, then you need the naivete slapped out of you. They knew that a kid throwing unhittable gas, looking like a "Baby Pedro" would get runaway coverage by all the media.

Would it be that hard to parlay Almonte's newly minted household name into a big league contract in a matter of 5 or 6 years? Of course not. Why do you think they tried?

When they put skyboxes in at Williamsport and charge for PSL's, beam me up. Same thing for scalpers outside the park, saying they've got a pair of "hillside lower levels" for just $20 over face. Let's hope Hackensack's Little League team doesn't threaten to move to Teaneck if the neighborhood doesn't spring for a miniature retractable roof field with Starbucks in the bleachers.

Just a few years ago, Little League expanded the World Series to include 16 teams instead of just eight. On the face of it, you could say it's a good move to include more teams from around the world. The cynic in me, however, thinks it was just a good way of giving TV another week of programming.

If they keep expanding the field, it will look like the NIT of kiddie baseball. Hell, this year Russia got in. Russia! This would be like the United States sending a team of 12 year old curlers to Quebec for the finals. I mean, come on let's get real.

I used to like watching these games as much as the next guy slouched on the sofa at home. Reliving our own "glory days" from Little League. It was good clean fun. But it's over. The TV glare it too bright, the pressure to cheat too great.

This shouldn't be a tough call. Leave the money on the table, pull the plug and don't look back.