PHOENIX -- Welcome to the Super Bowl edition of Saturday Scorecard, which begins with a declaration:

Hunter S. Thompson was right -- the Super Bowl is a freaky scene.

In a span of 24 hours on what is known as "Radio Row" -- the part of the Phoenix Convention Center where dozens of sports radio stations set up to broadcast to markets nationwide -- I spent time with or in close proximity to the following "60 Minutes" essayist Andy Rooney, former Packers Dorsey Levens and John Jurkovic, a pair of Kellen Winslows (Sr. and Jr.), E Street Band guitarist Nils Lofgren, Heartbreakers musicians Mike Campbell, Benmont Tench and Ron Blair, shady party promoters, NFL Hall of Famer Joe DeLamielleure, Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Marisa Miller and Jared from the Subway commercials.

Oh, and a legendary NFL quarterback saw my underwear. More on that momentarily.

The Super Bowl is the most over-hyped event on the sports calendar and "Radio Row" is the scene of the crime. During the week leading up to the game, battalion of current and former NFL star players and coaches, along with broadcasters, actors, comedians and musicians, descend on the convention center flanked by an army of handlers / PR flaks who shuttle them from radio station to radio station while simultaneously looking anxious, agitated and generally overwhelmed.

They walk the maze of tables in packs, followed by nervous-looking radio producers eager to hook guests for their show. It's kind of like the atmosphere in your average gentleman's club (minus the thumping music, stage and pole, of course), because when you watch them circle each other it's impossible to distinguish the hunter from the prey.

Although the conversations and activities that take place are largely frivolous (like much of sports talk radio), you wouldn't know it from the security. Put it this way: if our borders were protected like the perimeter of the Super Bowl media center, immigration would not be an issue in the upcoming election cycle.

Nobody can walk in or around the area without a credential bearing a photo. Every backpack, computer bag, equipment trunk and suitcase is inspected before it can enter the building.

That brings us to the underwear...

Due travel / lodging issues, this correspondent had to bring his suitcase to Radio Row on consecutive days. Early on Friday morning, before the sun came up over downtown Phoenix, a pleasant security guard was inspecting my luggage when Joe Montana strolled into the building for a number of appearances.

Joe was traveling light. With officials from the league and whatever company brought him to town waiting for him at the door, he breezed right past the inspection of my somewhat neatly packed shirts, pants, shaving kit and boxer shorts.

"Is he somebody famous?" Clara, the security guard, asked.

"Kind of." I said.

Some other observations from Radio Row:

Subway man: Jared Fogle, the definition of the everyman in a national ad campaign, made the rounds while touting healthy snacking on Super Bowl Sunday.

"About 80 percent of people overeat during the game," he said. "Instead of killing your diet with chicken wing and pizzas, take a step back and try to have some healthy options."

Asked to name his favorite Subway sandwich, Fogle said: "I like the tuna, but my ultimate favorite is the sweet onion teriyaki."

Fogle, who favors the Giants to score a stunning upset. "Strahan will be the difference-maker," he said.

Heartbreaker halftime: During a Thursday press conference for the halftime show (yes, they have a press conference about the halftime show), Tom Petty was asked a series of strange and sometimes ridiculous questions about cover bands,

The worst of the lot came from a female entertainment reporter from a Phoenix TV station: "Tom, I just want to tell you you're smokin' hot. Are you going to any of the parties while you're here and, if so, can I go with you and show you around?"

Petty's reply: "You'll have to ask my wife about that."

A day later, Heartbreakers Mike Campbell, Ron Blair and Benmont Tench were strolling through Radio Row. I mentioned to Tench that the Summerfest date had been announced and that many Milwaukeeans considered the Heartbreakers to be the house band of the Marcus Ampitheater.

"Somebody has to do it," Tench said. "It might as well be us. We like it."

Penalty for excessive good looks: Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Marissa Miller's trip through the convention center left many men slackjawed.

"She's like ... unbelievable," one producer said.

Gridiron Greats: Several retired players continue their battle to increase the pension payments for retired players, many of whom struggle with skyrocketing health care costs. The effort continues at gridirongreats.org, a site that features seeks donations and funds through a memorabilia auction.

"What's happening is a crime," said Joe DeLamielleure, a Hall of Fame offensive guard who played for Buffalo. DeLamielleure said his monthly pension check is $1,247.63 "before Uncle Sam."

"You can't live on that when gas is $3 a gallon," he said.