By Drew Olson Special to OnMilwaukee.com Published Apr 26, 2008 at 5:27 AM

Welcome to Saturday Scorecard. We have to keep things a bit short today. We're going to visit the lost and found booth at Miller Park to see if the Brewers' offense has turned up yet.

Enjoy the show...

Draft dodging: This probably qualifies as blasphemy, but I am absolutely not excited about the NFL Draft, and it has nothing to do with the Packers choosing 30th in the first round.

It has everything to do with the fact that I don't like the draft.

Take away my "sports guy" card for a couple weeks. Call me names. I don't care. I love the NFL, but I do not like the draft. I don't want to convert any draftniks to my side. If you like watching the draft, enjoy your weekend on the couch.

I'd rather watch paint dry.

Why do I dislike the draft? Let me count the ways:

Endurance test: The telecast is simply too long. Last year, the first round took six hours. The folks in charge have shortened the time between picks from 15 minutes to 10, but that's still too long. What other sporting event prompts you to watch 13 hours of coverage in two days?

The run-up to the telecast is worse than the telecast. Few things in sports are more worthless than mock drafts. They are about as relevant as NCAA Tournament brackets - and college basketball experts usually are smart enough not to reveal those. The system is hopelessly flawed. You have a bunch of writers trying to figure out what teams are going to do. In order to find this out, the writers interview general managers, agents and scouts. Almost without exception, the general managers, agents and scouts lie in order to avoid tipping their hand. Once mock drafts start appearing, they become a resource for subsequent drafts. What we have then is second-generation speculation based on shaky and sometimes intentionally inaccurate information.

An inexact science. It's impossible to evaluate a team's draft for a couple years. But, the talking heads on TV have to fill time and the newspaper guys have to provide copy, so everyone tries to provide instant analysis.

It's almost always worthless.

Remember when Houston fans barbecued Texans management for taking Mario Williams over Reggie Bush? That pick looks really good now, doesn't it? Remember when people thought that Eli Manning was a reach at No. 1? He has a Super Bowl ring now, thank you very much.

Do you remember anyone jumping up and down when the Patriots chose Tom Brady in the sixth round? Did anybody say, "There is a guy who is going to win three Super Bowls and go to the Hall of Fame?"

The draft is a crapshoot, much like the stock market. A lot of people think they have it figured out, but they almost always get humbled.

The hair: Mel Kiper, Jr., of ESPN carved out a niche for himself with the draft and I don't hate him for it. I don't hate his hair, either. Truth be told, I'm impressed that he can talk for 2 minutes about hundreds of players in a pressure-packed environment.

But, I also can't help remembering his misses. Kiper once said that Ryan Leaf's attitude would be an asset in the NFL and make him a better pro than Peyton Manning. In 2005, Kiper proclaimed that USC wide receiver Mike Williams would be the best player in the draft. When co-worker Merril Hoge disagreed, Kiper said "I'll see you at his Hall of Fame induction."

The only way Williams is going to the Hall of Fame is if he buys a ticket.

Top heavy. Players chosen in the early rounds get more attention and scrutiny than those in later rounds, but the guys taken early don't always pan out.

Look back at the Packers' draft from 2004, when the first four picks were Ahmad Carroll, Joey Thomas, Donnell Washington and B.J. Sander. The last two picks - Corey Williams and Scott Wells

Cliché festival. To watch even 20 minutes of the draft is to be bombarded by catchphrases like "upside," "difference maker," "value pick," "war room," "impact player," "good feet," "character guy," "plays good in space."

The Boomer. ESPN's Chris Berman is as much a part of Draft Day as beer commercials. He does a decent job, but phrases like "New York Football Giants" and "Oak-land Raid-uhs" got old decades ago.

Information overload: My biggest beef with ESPN's coverage is the fact that there is just too damn much information crammed onto the screen. I tuned in last year and the three tickers and flashing graphics gave me a migraine. The hardest thing to find is usually the pick that was just made, which is somewhat important because that's what the talking heads tend to squawk about in the screen space not dominated by crawls, logos and graphics.

I think I heard that 7 million people will watch some or all of the draft. I will tune in at about 6:15 to see who the Packers take. You can have the rest.

Money talks: The NFL should investigate a rookie salary cap. Miami shelled out a five-year, $57 million deal for Michigan's Jake Long, who became the highest-paid offensive lineman in league history before putting on a helmet.

That just doesn't seem right. Neither does the fact that some teams would rather have the No. 5 pick than No. 1, because they fear signability issues.

Much ado about nothing: The draft may be the lifeblood of football organizations, but few of the players chosen become the kind of all-pro, game-changing playmakers that divide the contenders from the also-rans.

 

Drew Olson Special to OnMilwaukee.com

Host of “The Drew Olson Show,” which airs 1-3 p.m. weekdays on The Big 902. Sidekick on “The Mike Heller Show,” airing weekdays on The Big 920 and a statewide network including stations in Madison, Appleton and Wausau. Co-author of Bill Schroeder’s “If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers” on Triumph Books. Co-host of “Big 12 Sports Saturday,” which airs Saturdays during football season on WISN-12. Former senior editor at OnMilwaukee.com. Former reporter at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.