"There's a fine line between clever and stupid."
- Nigel Tufnel, Spinal Tap

There's a $5 million a year NFL coach in Washington, and right now he doesn't have very many answers.

Trailing the Giants Sunday 19-17 early in the fourth quarter, Stephen Davis opened a Redskins drive by rushing 14 yards off left tackle. Spurrier (being Spurrier) then called three straight passes, and the Redskins were forced to punt.

"I don't know why we did that," Spurrier said. "I don't have all the answers for why we try to throw and then don't throw, and then we try to run and we run a little bit and then don't run."

So there you go, kids. He's the coach. $5 mil is in the bank already, another $20 mil is coming whether he wins or loses, and he "doesn't know why" they pass instead of run.

There's a simple reason why, but Spurrier won't admit it unless he gets horizontal on a leather couch with a shrink.

Here's why. He lives to pass the football. Period. It's not just obsessive, but almost pathological.

Four weeks ago, the Redskins started a modest two-game winning streak by doing something modest. Running the football more often than they threw it. Problem was, Spurrier hated it. In an ugly 14-3 win over Seattle, Spurrier's team failed to score in the second half. But you know what? They won. Instead of jogging off the field with a square jaw of quiet satisfaction that "a win is a win," Spurrier practically limped to midfield for a handshake with Mike Holmgren. The look on his face could only be described as "dyspeptic."

I thought somebody had just shot his dog.

So after two very "un-fun" weeks of winning by running, they played the 26th ranked run defense in the NFL in Jacksonville (with a four-game losing skid to boot) and threw the ball 51 times to 16 runs.

51-16! And that was with a 7-0 lead right out of the gate. A perfect opportunity to play downhill, power football. They lost. Big. 26-7.

When asked why they passed so much, Spurrier admitted to me on his radio show that because it was such a nice night to throw (temps in the mid-60's, with no wind) they thought they could have success via the air that night. He also referenced how he noticed in the 1 p.m. games that Tommy Maddox in Pittsburgh, Brett Favre in Green Bay and Payton Manning in Philly had all had big passing days statistically.

"It was just such a great day for passing all over the league today, really," Spurrier confided to us, almost wistfully.

Like that should have anything to do with your team, in your game, against your specific opponent.

The weather was nice, let's throw? I guess that makes Al Roker our offensive coordinator.

My beloved Redskins are 4-6 and steamrolling their way toward another inevitable 8-8 campaign. That would make three consecutive 8-8's. Three different ways.

In 2000, they were the "Fortune 500 Redskins." Dan Snyder spent a fortune on high priced free agents (Deion Sanders, Jeff George, Bruce Smith), and a late season swoon erased a 7-4 start to finish where they started: .500.

Same tune in 2001, different orchestra. Martyball saw an 0-5 start, followed by a 8-3 finish to go .500. In most cities, that constitutes a "positive trend." Most owners stick around with a coach like that, just to see the rest of the movie.

Not my owner, Dan Snyder. He "just wants to win," say his apologists. He's not afraid to "spend the money" say his loyalists (population: 17).

So Snyder canned Marty Schottenheimer (who is 7-3, not that we needed reminding) and went out and spent the money for Steve Spurrier.

Spurrier is supposed to be pretty clever on offense. To this, I simply refer to the Spinal Tap wisdom at the top of this column.

Let's try to be as rational as possible here. The offensive personnel is exceedingly average. Rod Gardner is a pretty good possession receiver, with little downfield "stretch" capability. Derrius Thompson and Darnerian McCants are still projects. Chris Doering was out of football when Spurrier called him. And the only reason he had his number was because it was in the ex-Gator alumni directory.

The quarterbacks on the depth chart can be described thusly: Journeyman, washout, greenhorn.

Two are former Gators. I know, you are shocked.

The defense is good, but not nearly as good as it thinks it is. Meanwhile Marvin Lewis can't wait to get out of his million-dollar-a-year "golden handcuffs" to get the head coaching shot that he deserves.

Special teams? Don't get me started. The cupboard isn't just bare, but the doors and shelves have been ripped out. The kicker is a mid-season pickup who was preaching in his father's church when he got a tryout. The punter is dead last in the league in net yards. The return game is in shambles. Jacquez Green was actually pretty good, and had a return for a TD this year.

He was cut last week. How many times have you heard of a team cutting a punt returner during the season who already has a return for a touchdown? Me neither.

So that leaves us with the head coach. As the highest paid clipboard holder in the league, you would hope that he's worth the money, right out of the box. That's clearly not the case. Spurrier is just getting his bruises (ego, mostly) this first tour of the "big leagues." He's figuring out what works, and what doesn't.

And mainly, everything that worked in college, is useless here. At Florida, Spurrier's big trick was to switch QB's, spike his visor, and throw some more. At Florida, that worked wonders. In this league, with average talent, it's a disaster.

Everybody says that Spurrier is a "very smart guy." Without proof of his MENSA membership, I presume this is based on the fact he won a lot of games and a national championship in college. Last time I checked, Dennis Erickson also won a lot of games, threw the ball a lot, and won a national championship.

Erickson didn't get $25 million from the Seahawks. Mainly because he failed to build a "mystique" about his coaching prowess like Spurrier has. If you look at the raw passing numbers over similar periods, there's really no difference between Spurrier and Erickson, or Erickson and Butch Davis.

Spurrier had the visor, the offensive nickname "Fun and Gun" and a great schtick of running up the score and talking trash afterward (remember, Ray "Goof" and "you can't spell Citrus Bowl with a U and a T?)

That makes Spurrier a helluva coaching personality, and I'm sure buckets of fun at a golf outing.

But it doesn't make him a good NFL coach.

Being that will simply take good old fashioned hard work, and the willingness to let go of some of his past. There's no need to stop throwing the ball altogether, but when a sloppy game like the Giants is sitting there waiting to be had in the mud, you get down on all fours, get dirty and grab it.

There is a growing whisper that if things don't finish any better this year, that Spurrier may pull a Lou Holtz and return to college after one forgettable year in the pros. To that I say, "oh no, you made this mess, you'll stick around to at least try to clean in up."

What my team needs more than anything, is an off-season with minimal coaching and front office turnover. It has been three straight years of churn and burn, three straight years different visions of how to build an NFL team.

Spurrier may not be as brilliant as some have claimed, but I doubt he's an idiot. He should now know that he can't win in this league with every ex-Gator who is "cheap and available" as he boasted back in June.

And he wants to throw, which is fine. Let's go get him some tools for the job. It starts with a big time NFL arm, and there's no better time than now to play the rookie Patrick Ramsey from here on out. His performance will tell enough as to whether you need to shop for a QB this winter.

Then it's time for a gambreaking wideout. Both Issac Bruce and David Boston will be free agents. Neither will be cheap, and Bruce is 31 and prone to fumbles. He may not even want to leave St. Louis.

But Snyder better have his checkbook ready.

The NFL is all about fine lines. Distinctions, subtleties, and small advantages in seemingly innocent roster spots. Right now, Spurrier is straddling that line between clever and stupid. If he wants to fall on the right side of the equation, it will take more than ex-Gators and a southern folksy twang.

In other words, it is time to go to work.