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In Sports
OMC Exclusive: A look inside Tiger's Day-Timer
 
By Dave Begel RSS Feed
Special to OnMilwaukee.com

E-mail author | Author bio
More articles by Dave Begel

Published April 13, 2007 at 5:02 a.m.
Tags: tiger woods, elin woods, dave begel

It¹s not that hard to figure out why Tiger Woods lost the Masters. He's known for his single-minded concentration that has made him the best in the world.

Well, take a look at how his schedule book has changed.

Typical week in 2005 (while still single):

MONDAY
- Wake up when I feel like it.
- Sit in Jacuzzi for about an hour, reading the paper, checking stock quotes, sipping fresh juice brought to you by my Philippine servant.
- Take a call from Phil Knight, President of Nike, telling me about a new line of Tiger Woods clothing.
- Take a call from Michael Jordan, asking me if I want to play a $10,000 Nassau, no strokes.
- Talk to swing coach and discuss issues.
- Go to practice tee and work till dark. Hit 1,500 balls, only using my 2-iron.
- Take a shower, dress in cool clothes and hit a nightclub for a cocktail or two and to do some harmless flirting with world famous models.
- Go to bed whenever I want.

TUESDAY
- Get up whenever I feel like it.
- Work out hard with my seven personal trainers.
- Call my dietician and ask what I¹m having for lunch and tell her that my swing coach will be joining us.
- Lunch.
- To the range and hit another 1,500 balls, working only on my sand wedge.
- Dinner with Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, Nicole Kidman, Brett Favre, P. Diddy, Andrew Lloyd Weber, Oprah Winfrey and Desmond Tutu.
- Bedtime with a story read to me by James Earl Jones.

WEDNESDAY
- Wake up at 10.
- Breakfast at the range after hitting 500 7-irons.
- Hit 250 4-iron fades and 300 putts from inside eight feet.
- Lunch and then a short nap.
- Hit 730 balls out of greenside traps. Putt 200 times from 11 feet, 3 inches downhill.
- Get on my plane and fly to site of golf tournament.
- Arrive and get courtesy Rolls Royce with driver. Have dinner.
- Putt 283 times from 22 feet, uphill. Meet with Stevie Williams, my great caddie, who had distances charted from everywhere.

THURSDAY THROUGH SUNDAY
- Play and win a golf tournament.

Now, look his schedule for 2007 after being married to Elin:

MONDAY
- Wake up at 7:30 and join Elin for Swedish toast and small cup of tea.
- Take a quick shower. Try to find paper, which seems to be missing.
- Take a call for Elin from Olaf, the Swedish interior decorator who is arriving this week with swatches.
- Go to range and hit a quick dozen before meeting with Swedish tea-leaf reader who will determine the best time for Elin to get pregnant.
- Take out the garbage and replace three blown out light bulbs in the kitchen.
- Meet with Elin and Olaf. Five hours on swatches.
- Dinner with Elin and her friends from high school at Steak & Ale.
- Play video golf with Elin and friends. Her roommate is my partner.
- Bed. Alone, while Elin reminisces with friends.

TUESDAY
- Wake up at 6 a.m. in order to say goodbye to Elin¹s friends.
- No shower. Rush to range and hit two balls with each club in my bag. Hit my driver hard. Very hard.
- Home with Elin to talk to guys who are building our Swedish sauna. Make decision between Oak and Swedish Aged Pine. I'm holding out for oak.
- Lunch with Elin¹s mom who wants to know when she will be a grandmother.
- Meet with Elin regarding her grandfather, also named Olaf. Olaf is the second place finisher in the Goeteberg public links tournament and Elin thinks he might be a better swing coach than Hank Haney.
- Dinner. Swedish Meatballs and Glogg.
- Bed. Alone. Elin has a modeling shoot tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY
- Wake up at 3 a.m., and go to the range to hit balls.
- 3:45 am. Our four Swedish Vallhunds (Olaf, Sven, Ole and Olga) start howling and Elin calls for me to let them out to go to the bathroom.
- Elin wakes up and has massage getting ready for modeling shoot.
- I look for paper, but find it has been chewed up by the Vallhunds.
- Elin leaves for modeling shoot. Rush to range. Vallhunds have eaten all the practice balls. All that¹s left is a dozen Po-Do¹s.
- Pack bag for tournament. Laundry has not been done. My red shirt and black pants are still dirty and crumpled in bottom of laundry basket.
- Call Hank Haney for advice. Find out that calls to his area code have been blocked by wife. Call Olaf in Goeteberg. He says "Swing hard in case you hit it."
- Fly to tournament site. Press is all at Elin¹s modeling shoot.
- Nobody at airport. Hitch ride to course with Sergio Garcia. They¹ve lost my entry form.

THURSDAY-FRIDAY
- Play in tournament.
- Miss the cut.

7 comments about this article.
Post a comment / write a review.

Recent Talkbacks ...

Posted by patrickm1964 on April 17, 2007 at 4:41 p.m. (report)

Begel's most valuable contribution to OMC...sometimes he makes Czaban look like an intellectual.

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Posted by Big Mark on April 13, 2007 at 1:47 p.m. (report)

It's unanimous... This article is a feeble attempt at humor by and author who couldn't think of something worthwhile to write about... Not to mention the fact that it could be considered sexist, inimating that a woman / marriage can ruin any man's life even the best golfer in the world... C'mon OnMilwaukee.com... Give your readers articles from people who actually have a clue about what is interesting, relevant, and funny in today's world...

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Posted by Captool73 on April 13, 2007 at 9:32 a.m. (report)

After reading de Begel's comedic stylings, I have just one question: Can't Drew and his staff find any other has-been to write a weekly column? I have a suggestions--Mike Bauman! I think that he is still alive and can't do much worse than Dave.

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Posted by JS on April 13, 2007 at 9:24 a.m. (report)

Plus, Tiger hasn't missed a cut in 2007.

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Posted by disziplin on April 13, 2007 at 9:17 a.m. (report)

I have to agree..this is just a silly article. I personally didn't find it funny or amusing in the least. Perhaps others did, but not me.

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