Every trip I've taken, without fail, has resulted in at least one good Milwaukee story. From the Nomad bumper sticker in Munich to the Packers bar in St. Maarten, I'm sure I'm not alone in this phenomenon -- Milwaukeeans seem to travel with a unique sense of vigor and outward display of their hometown.

Which is why I was stunned to spend a Milwaukee-free few days this last weekend in St. John, the smallest of the three U.S. Virgin Islands.

First, to backtrack, my wife won this quick trip in a raffle at work. They kindly put us up at a ridiculously high-end resort called Caneel Bay, which is an understated but elegant property situated inside the Virgin Islands National Park. We flew into St. Thomas and took the private ferry across to St. John, which made for a relaxing and warm getaway from a bone-chilling Milwaukee weekend.

Flying into St. Thomas, I thought the Milwaukee connections would begin to reveal themselves immediately. UW-Madison was competing in a basketball tournament on the island, and indeed, I saw a handful of Badgers t-shirts. In Charlotte Amalie, where the ferry scooped us up, I spotted a Harley gift shop. I thought this was gonna be easy, as I had already assigned myself a story about Milwaukee-St. John connections.

But then the Milwaukee links dried up.

See, St. John -- and the U.S. Virgin Islands, in general -- are atypical Caribbean destinations. Because the islands are U.S. territories, they accept our currency and don't require a passport to get there. And of course, everyone speaks English. My iPhone worked as if I was in Milwaukee, and unlike the other islands I've visited, I didn't see any crazy, European cars or anything else "out of the ordinary." You can drink the water safely, and with just 3,000 people on the whole island, the vibe feels a lot like Key West, but with cars driving on the left. I tend to like my vacations a little more on the gritty side, and St. John is one of the least gritty places I've ever visited.

In fact, I had a hard time wrapping my head around the whole experience. Velia and I are not your typical resort vacationers, and not just because we can't afford a $700 per night experience (thanks again, Boelter+Lincoln). Really, we like to get out and explore -- but given our amazing hook-up, we only left the property on three separate jaunts.

Clearly, the people staying at Caneel came from a completely different lifestyle than those we usually meet on vacation, but for such a high-end resort, it was also charmingly low-key. We talked to a lot of people, visitors from Houston, Las Vegas, Boston and Australia -- but no one with a Milwaukee connection. When we told guests where we live, they all asked the same question, "How cold is it right now?"

In St. John's main city, Cruz Bay, we met people from Delaware and Florida and even someone from Northern Illinois. But no one knew much about or had spent time in Milwaukee.

So, in lieu of some pithy links between Milwaukee and the USVI, here a few observations about the experience -- if you're ever planning a trip to the Virgin Islands:

• If you're looking for an easy trip, then you've come to the right place. Within the Caribbean, I've visited St. Martin, Anguilla, the Bahamas, the Dominican Republic and the Mexican Riviera Maya. Without a doubt, St. John was the least stressful, probably because, for all intents and purposes, it's just another city (albeit a beautiful one) in America. I've heard that the British Islands are a better trip, but with just two complete days in tropical paradise, we didn't have time to head farther east.
• If you're looking for an inexpensive or cultural trip, you should probably look elsewhere. While sights are there to be seen, people come to St. John to get away from it all. St. John's best asset is its beautiful, unspoiled scenery. And while the island is much less expensive than some, you'll have to work hard to spend less than $40 or $50 for a lunch for two. Like so many other islands, St. Thomas is a cruise ship stopover, which means its streets are lined with jewelry and watch dealers selling "cheap" products. That is, if you think a $700 watch is cheap by any definition.
• If you have the means (and we don't), staying at a place like Caneel Bay, if only once in your life, is worth it. Our only goal on this vacation was to relax and warm up, and having the beach and ocean 20 feet from our bungalow made that incredibly easy. Though our jobs are different, Velia and I both work in the field of communications, and we were similarly impressed by the meticulous attention to detail at every turn, from the exquisite but not overbearing level of service, to the consistent branding throughout the entire resort. That said, we had our final dinner on the resort's beautiful Equator restaurant, which is a converted ruin of a sugar mill. Several people told us to expect the best meal on the entire island, and while it was very, very good, neither of us would classify it as outstanding. In almost every way, Caneel completely hit the spot, and did it with style. Beggars can't be choosers, but if we could've eked out one more day, I would've taken it in a flash.
• Finally, upon returning to Milwaukee, I noticed two things -- one good and one bad -- at my favorite airport, General Mitchell International Airport. The good: Mitchell Field is just so incredibly convenient. For what it lacks in amenities, it makes up for in sheer ease of use, and the new Terminal C is actually really well done, reflecting Milwaukee in a great way. The bad: as I walked past the first gift shop on the way to the exit, I saw at least two "cow tipping" t-shirts displayed in the window. Every airport plays up a local theme, and I'm ashamed ours is apparently cow tipping. That might fly at the Wausau airport, assuming there is one, but I had hoped Milwaukee was moving beyond its bovine reputation.