I recently read an article by Jessica Ravitz on CNN.com about a book that's causing quite a stir among women. The book is called "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough."

The title alone is enough to get women's panties in a bunch, because what the hell is this message supposed to say to us but ‘Mr. Right isn't out there anyway so get over yourself and take the next thing you see.' So now women can rely not only on their grandmothers for pressure to settle down with the first guy that meets some of the qualities they're looking for, they can find it at Barnes & Noble as well. Super.

The book's author, Lori Gottlieb, is well aware of the instant gag reflex this title triggers in women, but her request is -- and any author trying to make a buck would agree -- don't judge a book by its cover. Women all across America are apparently pretty peeved by the title and therefore haven't even bothered to peruse the first page, but are willing to bitch about it on their blogs. Guilty as charged.

I will agree, though I haven't read the book (yet), it is a bit off-putting to have ‘Marry Him: Cause You'll Never Find Better' right there staring back at me. However, my real beef isn't with the book itself, or even the author, it's with the women that were interviewed for it. No one wants to feel like they are settling, but some of the research results that Gottlieb discusses in her interview are downright disquieting and likely more so for the men out there.

To Gottlieb's credit, she's not really trying to tell women that settling is OK or that marrying the first guy who's willing will make you happy, she's trying to express to women that no one is perfect, so looking for Mr. Perfect is a lost cause because you will only be let down when you find every human on the planet has flaws.

So for the women out there that won't give anyone but a Dr. McDreamy a second glance, it might be time, not to lower your standards in a mate, but to be realistic about people in general.

That seems to make more sense than the message many women seem to get which is, ‘Hey, marry the next guy that you can stand to be around.' I'm curious whether she chose this title or if the publisher chose it for her, knowing it would drum up controversy and publicity.

Gottlieb posed to her research participants: "If you got 80 percent of everything you wanted -- of your ideal traits in a mate or partner -- would you be happy?"

Gottlieb claims, "The majority of women said, ‘No, that's settling,' and the majority of men said, ‘Eighty percent? I'd be thrilled; that's a catch.'"

It's difficult to put into words what each of us would ‘settle' for. If that 20 percent we have to settle for is a bunch of stuff we cannot stand then, yeah, that's really settling; settling for a divorce to be exact. But if the 20 percent is, he used the wrong fork for his salad, hasn't saved anyone from drowning, isn't a Kennedy, well then you're on your own and good luck getting married ...  ever.

Gottlieb also brings up an important finding from her research, that most men don't go on a date debating if this woman is "the one;" they decide to ask about a second date based on whether they can stand to be around you for another date, not whether they can see you walking down the aisle on their wedding day.

Women on the other hand, (and I'm curious to know more about the research conducted on this because personally I have never gone on a first, second or third thinking, ‘I wonder if he's the one!') do tend to start thinking, relatively early on if they could see themselves marrying the guy they've been to one movie and three dinners with. In fact, she claims the women she questioned came up with 300 different reasons not to go on a second date with a guy. Picky, picky ladies!

I don't know how many of you actually think this way, but you need to slow that wedding train way down. Not only because that's an insane way to think, but also because you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment. Marriage is the kind of thing you should only even begin to think about well into a committed relationship. If you've only been on a couple dates with a guy, you don't even know him. He's still in the very hazy, "could be Mr. Right/Could be Mr. Still Lives With His Mom" area.

Gottlieb's claim is that women's pickiness when it comes to partners is our affinity for story-telling. "Women are really good story-tellers, and they want to know how the story's going to end," claims Gottlieb. "And so they want to know pretty early on, on that first date, is this going to lead anywhere? Is this a guy who I could see myself in a relationship with?"

Oh boy, again, I don't do this, I don't know too many women that do, but for those of you that are doing this, stop! You're really freaking me out, as well as your date and likely your shrink.

Are women too picky? I'm sure many women, just like many men, are way too picky about the people they choose to date. But there is a big difference between not going on a second date with a guy because he brought you daisies rather than roses and not going out with him because he clipped his finger nails at the table. In case there is any confusion about which one of these deserves a second date, public nail clippers do not deserve to eat in public period so I hope that clears that up.

The last example aside (because there is no forgiving that), most men and women can be clued into their bad manners or behaviors. So if you send him or her the evil eye and he or she immediately ‘gets it' then maybe there's still hope.

And there is a difference between not going out with a guy because you are really truly not attracted to him and not going out with him because supposedly you knew after twenty minutes into your first date that he's not the one.

Perhaps the problem is women, or at least the women Gottlieb interviewed, are under the impression that they are Miss Perfect.

Time to climb down from that pillar of salt my dear. You, like every man, woman and child on this earth, have flaws. Just think of all the men that may have passed on a second date with you because you aren't ‘perfect' in their eyes -- because you don't have D cups, nervously played with your hair during dinner or mispronounced Sauvignon blanc. It's a pretty harsh and superficial way to look at one another.

The title might irk you, but the message seems to have a bit of validity depending on how you receive it. "Don't stop looking for Mr. Right, but look for the right Mr. Right. Look for the Mr. Right who's actually going to make you happy versus the guy who fits some fantasy that you have in your head," says Gottlieb.

If you're tired of looking for Mr. Perfect, maybe it's time to look at Mr. Makes Me Laugh or Mr. Treats Me Really Well and not necessarily as THE ONE, but as someone that you can spend time getting to know before you decide. Gottlieb's message is, don't judge a book by its cover but what her interview showed was that she means don't judge people by their cover or by the little details - look at the bigger picture, the whole person. We teach children that lesson but we tend to forget it somewhere between ninth grade and age thirty-five.

If you have ventured to crack open the pages of Gottlieb's book, please let me know if it was worth the read and the money.