By OnMilwaukee Staff Writers   Published Feb 06, 2004 at 5:12 AM Photography: Andy Tarnoff

Pick-up lines are a dime a dozen. Even in our great hometown, one line is as cheesy as the next. What gets the girl or guy? We don't know. What we do know is there are ways NOT get the date.

In our great place by a Great Lake we'd all love a great way for a first date. So when it comes to pick-up line time, please don't find these divine. But please enjoy them since they are soon to be another famous OnMilwaukee.com list. Kids, please shut your eyes, these aren't exactly rated G. Adults, please enjoy "The 100 Worst Milwaukee Pick Up Lines."

  1. You can U.S. Bank on it, I'll be the Firstar you see tonight.
  2. The Brise Soleil is open, baby. Let's fly away.
  3. Let's go to the Concertina bar and I'll push your buttons.
  4. Nice Domes.
  5. That's a nice big blue shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  6. Ever been atop of the clock tower?
  7. Actually, come over here, once.
  8. Is that a Pabst in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  9. Didn't I meet you at Summerfest?
  10. Hey baby, I'm a Packers shareholder.
  11. Have you seen my Dick Bacon tribute?
  12. I'd love to hoan in on your bridge, baby.
  13. Can I come over by your place later on tonight, hey?
  14. Wanna walk on my Grand Avenue?
  15. Like these lists? Check out "100 things not to do in Milwaukee" at onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/dontdoit.html

  16. I've got a hot tub, and my next door neighbor is Gerry Boyle.
  17. Meet me at Schwartz, I'll show you my Schwantz.
  18. Let's tie one on at Miller Park.
  19. Was your father in the Milwaukee mafia? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  20. Your daddy must have worked at the Lopez Bakery, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
  21. I was just admiring your new Green Bay Packers Zubaz pants.
  22. I was once hung up on by Mark Belling.
  23. Do you have a map of Milwaukee? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
  24. Are your pants from Discovery World? 'Cause your butt is out of this world.
  25. Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine-fine-fine written all over you.
  26. Is that a keg of Miller in your pants, 'cause I would like to tap that ass.
  27. Meet me at Ma's.
  28. Oh yeah, I've been listening to Reitman and Mueller for years.
  29. State Fair opens tonight, I'll put the cream in your puff baby.
  30. Didn't I meet you at the old County Stadium? Oh, well, care to go to 4th Base?
  31. Is that a new Packers sweatshirt?
  32. After the Deer Hunter' Widow's Ball: "nice rack."
  33. Can I explore your deep tunnel.
  34. You may have seen me before ... I am the model for Usinger's Famous Sausages.
  1. I know where they make a great beer-battered tenderloin.
  2. What a coincidence, you smoke Newport Lights, too?
  3. I would take you to Elsa's but I'd rather go somewhere that accepts the Discover Card.
  4. Why don't you pick out something to do? Here, look through the Entertainment Book.
  5. I'm an actor. I was in "Reggie's Prayer" and "Major League."
  6. Oh sure, I know Paul Piaskoski.
  7. Can you drive? I only have two points left on my license.
  8. Would you like to go somewhere fancy for dinner? I'm thinking something nice, like the Olive Garden?
  9. Can you believe the price of perch? Cod's on me.
  10. I used to play softball for Stormin' and Vuke's back in '80's.
  11. Wanna see my TJ Rubley autographed football?
  12. No problem. I can get you backstage to meet Pat McCurdy. Wanna see my Sigmund Snopecker?
  13. Oh sure, I used to go drinking with the old police chief.
  14. Wanna get busy like a pair of Love Monkeys?
  15. My buddy knows the Famous Racing Sausages.
  16. One time, I ate at Gilles next to Bud Selig.
  17. I've seen the Mayor's Executive Branch.
  18. Your eyes are really pretty in the light of the Polish Moon.
  19. You and me baby aren't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on Monkey Island.
  20. I slept with Bambi.
  21. Wanna skinny dip in the Milwaukee River?
  22. I only hang out at Victor's to listen to the music.
  23. You like apples? What do you say we go down by the Lake der and make out once, hey? How do you like them apples?
  24. Hey ... wanna watch my softball game?
  25. Wanna go to Lake Park for a little Pitch 'n Putt?
  26. You put the spice in Spice House, baby.
  27. I know a great place to get a butter burger.
  28. I'll show you my Packers tattoo if you show me yours.
  29. You + Me + Tiki Love Bowl = Forever
  30. Wanna go bowling? I'll let you polish my balls.
  31. I like my girls like my custard... sweet and thick.
  32. Wanna go out to dinner? I got a coupon for Pizza Shuttle.
  33. Miller? I prefer a more upscale beer, like Rolling Rock.
  34. I was there the day they blew up the Hoan.
  35. Beer battered or broiled, baby?
  36. Real Chili later?
  37. I just had my back shaved, wanna see?
  38. I used to date Julie Stoffer from "The Real World."
  39. You were born at St. Joseph's Hospital, too?
  40. Want to use my Sam's Club card?
  41. Oh sure, the Outpost, I buy all my low-cholesterol food there.
  42. Like these lists? Check out "100 Milwaukee memories" at onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/100memories1.html

  43. I've eaten at both DeMarinis' restaurants, in one night!
  44. You're tastier than Mama Mia herself.
  45. Wanna ride my hog?
  46. Forget the lakefront and check out the festival in my pants.
  47. How's about my pepperoni and your cannoli?
  48. I know a place we can bowl naked.
  49. You're hotter than Sam Cassell's head on a steamy August afternoon.
  50. Wanna see my pet love rock?
  51. I lived downtown before downtown was cool.
  52. They tore down the freeway so let's have a three-way!
  53. I want you like Chachi wanted Joani.
  54. The Polaris is spinning, let's go sit and spin.
  55. You'd look great in my Albert the Alley Cat t-shirt.
  56. How about you, me and a can of Cheez Whiz?
  57. Oh baby, you're giving me a Shorewoody.
  58. Let's get naked, and I'll show you my new move I like to call "The Calatrava."
  59. If you spend the night I'll make Stone Creek Coffee in the morning.
  60. Wanna go to the Up and Under and then get down?
  61. I had a dream last night that you were wearing nothing but a Cheesehead hat and a Summerfest smile.
  62. I went to high school with the Violent Femmes.
  63. Let's go to Conejito's and then drive around the round-a-bout all night long.
  64. Oh sure, I've been to dat Gallery Night thing der.
  65. I buy all my suits at Kohl's Department Store.
  66. Buddy Squirrel has nothing on me, baby.
  67. That's right, I helped pay for Miller Park.
  68. Yeah, I own OnMilwaukee.com.