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We don't need a strip club. What we need is the Milwaukee version of "So You Think You Can Dance" or "Dancing with the Stars - Live and Downtown."

Driver's dancing could boost Milwaukee tourism

This may well be my favorite week of the entire year of 2012.

It marks the crowning of a winner in both "Dancing With the Stars" and the start of "So You Think You Can Dance."

Our own favorite twinkletoes, Donald Driver, had a chance to show again what exuberance really is when he was crowned king of "Dancing With the Stars" Tuesday night. Sure, Packers Nation voters helped, but Driver proved he can really dance. And his partner, Peta Murgatroyd filled out the tiny bits of costume she wore pleasantly.

I don't know about you, but these are my two favorite "reality" shows on television, easily beating "American Ninja Warriors," "Mob Wives of New Jersey" (where else) and anything with a Kardashian.

I think I'm drawn to these two shows because of my own dancing abilities. When I slow dance I have often been mistaken for a statue. When it's time to kick it up a notch, my youngest daughter Alli once said I remind her of a deaf rooster with a broken wing, a bad overbite and shoes made out of lead.

I suppose she may be right, but that doesn't stop me from having an incredible depth of devotion to televised dancing.

I love seeing these good-looking people tell a story with their bodies in time to a great piece of music. I will say, however, that some of my male friends make cracks about my affection for all things dance. My masculinity has even been challenged on occasion.

Nonsense, I say. What's not to like? Generally speaking, here's what you get.

Very attractive women, dressed in something between moderately provocative and ultra hot. Moving in alluring and sexy ways. Establishing eye contact with the fans (or in this case, the camera). High level and artistic lighting.

If you add a pole, what does this begin to sound like?

And therein lies the reason for mentioning all of this.

In Milwaukee we are about to fight yet another battle over having a strip club Downtown. The lines are already drawn between those who see this as an economic development/tourism boost and those who think it's either Sodom, Gomorrah or Las Vegas.

As a self-proclaimed expert on the world of dance watching (I did not use the phrase dance voyeurism) I have a solution before this even becomes a problem.

We don't need a strip club. What we need is the Milwaukee version of "So You Think You Can Dance" or "Dancing with the Stars – Live and Downtown."

People think that we can get more conventions if we have a strip club Downtown. But I don't think it's the strip club that attracts conventioneers. I've been to lots of conventions, and the big attraction outside the host hotel has always been alcohol, music and cute waitresses. Think about the success of Hooters.

Let's get the people who operate Danceworks or the Milwaukee Ballet or Fred Astaire studios, the Bucks' Energee Dancers or the Brewers Diamond Dancers (probably the most ignored dance troupe in memory) or even those cute Irish dancers, to help. They can take turns choreographing great numbers and have cute women come and dance while wearing hot, semi-revealing costumes.

No lap dances (which you can't have in Milwaukee anyway). No walking around asking men to put dollars into G-strings. No G-strings. No sitting at tables with conventioneers ordering $30 champagne cocktails. No VIP rooms.

Just good, wholesome dancing that is a feast for the eyes, solace for the soul, and a lure for conventions.


chrisallen53207 | May 25, 2012 at 7:57 a.m. (report)

If you like dance competitions, you MUST check out Genesis, Milwaukee Ballet's international choreographic competition, in February at The Pabst Theater:

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