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At UW-Milwaukee, you may run into the Pen Guy, an angry woman at financial aid, waistline busting indulgences and more. (PHOTO: Colton Dunham)

13 daily occurrences at UW-Milwaukee

A college campus is one of the strangest places a person will ever go to. Once you step on the premises, you are now sucked into a world of caffeine and young adults. Every day is new day for something weird to happen, and something weird usually does, but, every day is also a new day for the same recurring events to happen.

Whether it's seeing the same person in a specific location every day or having the same cashier every day at lunch, college campus life can feel like one big continuous cycle sometimes.

Here are some of the things that seem to happen every day on campus at the UW-Milwaukee.

1. The Pen Guy

Eric Slawyk, better known as the UWM Pen Guy, has been on campus handing out free pens and over-the-top religious pamphlets for years. You often see him so much around campus at many different locations that you start to wonder if there are Pen Guy clones damning to the depths of hell anyone who doesn't take a pen.

He has also become a new favorite Halloween costume on campus!

2. The Forever Angry Woman in Financial Aid

If you take a gander into the financial aid office, you will more than likely encounter an unpleasant, angry woman during your visit. She may work there, she may not, but there is always at least one in there.

3. The Various Older Gentlemen Throughout the Student Union

The UWM Student Union: a dark, crowded, chaotic building with a smelly mix of Taco Bell and body odor. Lets face it, the building would have way less character if it wasn't for the random, older men you see taking casual naps in lounges around the building. They might also be one of the contributing factors to the strange smell.

4. The Overly Enthusiastic GER Professor

Everyone hates general education requirements. While you're fulfilling that required general art credit, it will more than likely feature a professor that is way to excited to be teaching you Intro To Relaxation.

5. The Getting Run Over In the Middle of Campus Fiasco

Look both ways before you cross any street, or sidewalk for that matter. The school is surrounded by intersections (it is literally an intersection), at least try to be conscious of that fact.

6. The Waistline Busting Indulgences

Like every college campus, there is delicious, unhealthy food for students to love, feast upon, and become addicted to. UWM offers some of the best of the best when it comes to delicious, unhealthy food options: Baja melts (a grilled tortilla, shredded chicken, gooey cheddar cheer, fresh jalapeños, and sour cream all in one), Panther Paw cookies (sugar cookies dipped in chocolate and covered in icing and sugar on top), and the infamous Create-Your-Own Grilled Cheese bar.

7. The, "Wait, What? We Have That?" Syndrome

Many do not realize the countless resources that are available to students on campus. Time after time, you will discover how many of those amenities, activities, and organizations there truly are. Common examples are: "Wait, what? We have sport teams?" "Wait, what? We have fraternities and sororities that are normal?"

8. The Annual Disappearing Act

"You know that kid that lives on the fifth floor?" "Yeah, he dropped out." "What happened to the girl in our lecture? " "I'm pretty sure she switched schools." Welcome to the place where you make dozens of acquaintances and then, usually next week or next semester, you will never see any of them again. Why, you might ask? No one is quite certain.

9. The Not So Helpful Advisor

Sometimes, only if you are so fortunate, you will have an advisor that will sit down with you and answer all of the question you could possibly have. Then, about ten minutes after your appointment, you will realize that you have no idea what they were talking about.

"Here is your plan for next semester, I hope I answered all your questions!" "Thank you so much!" – leaves office, then thinks 10 minutes later – "What does any of this mean?!"

10. The Tower of Terrors

If the elevators in Sandburg's North Tower don't drop floors on you at least five times during your stay in the residence halls, consider yourself blessed.

11. The Bookstore

You will go into our absurdly massive bookstore, you will find hundreds and hundreds of things you like or wonder, "Why do they sell this," and then you will only be able to afford maybe two of those items.

12. The Pounce Panther Pictures

You will bolt across campus if you spot our mascot, Pounce Panther, and you know you have not gotten the quintessential UWM student picture with him. This is also another way to spot all the freshman on campus.

13. The No Tank Top Rule

This year, the Klotsche Center, the athletic facility at UWM, decided to apply a "No Tank Top" rule. They're just being considerate of all students, creating a friendly environment, and encouraging all to work out! Sounds a little bit like Planet Fitness, right? I guess it's time we start calling it Planet Klotsche!


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