Welcome to OnMeowaukee Cat Week, a meowsome bunch of articles, photos, videos and an Instagram contest celebrating all aspects of Milwaukee cats. Sponsored by Bark N' Scratch Outpost, these seven days are dedicated to those creatures with nine lives who make our lives more paw-sitive.
In this series, we peep into the private life of Elmo, a long-haired orange tabby cat who has a penchant for journaling.
Dear Diary,
It seems like an age since I last wrote. But, as you will soon see, there are reasons for that.
Life has been an arduous journey for me, and I am happy to now have a few short moments in which I can record the events of the past few months.
I trust you remember the more minor details of my life – but in case you cannot, I shall recap them for you. I am a lovely orange cat. I am Jewish. I live with two reasonably pleasant humans and an evil plotting monkey cat-sister named Zoe.
I do not often complain, but am constantly plotting my escape from the home of my masters. If I am successful, I hope to fulfill my life-long dream of visiting the Holy Land one last time before I depart this world in peace.
Right now I am severely sleep deprived and am without many of my greater faculties. I also seem to have lost my typewriter in the move and only recently found paper and a writing instrument that would accommodate my lack of opposable thumbs. So, I hope you will excuse the poor penmanship and stilted thoughts.
It all began last May when my masters decided to move into a new house. They began rearranging my habitat –moving their belongings here and there, and packing everything into gigantic boxes. As if this were not bad enough, when the day arrived they packed both me and Zoe into crates and drove us to the new house, only to lock us in a bathroom for many long hours.
They provided us with food and drink, but left me without my typewriter or any other form of entertainment. The monkey was whiney and insufferable. I thought my life was over. Fortunately, within a few hours, we were let out of the bathroom and allowed to roam freely throughout the house.
I was in love with my newfound space, until I realized that the vastness of the premises meant that I would have to defend myself far more vigilantly against the attacks of the Zoe monkey.
Already, she began new tactics – much worse than any used before. Hiding in the bathroom bidet. Pouncing out from behind doorways and dark halls. Rushing at me, out of nowhere. I doubted I would survive very long without a plan. So, I have been plotting for months now.
I have spotted an escape hatch on the east side of the house – a path to the outdoors that I might use to my advantage once the weather warms a bit. I would estimate that I have a few more months to wait before I can put my plan into action.. In the meantime, I thought I would pen a note to you, my friend, and let you know of my whereabouts. I have written my coordinates on the back of this note.
I think of you often and hope you are well.
ELMO
Lori is an avid cook whose accrual of condiments and spices is rivaled only by her cookbook collection. Her passion for the culinary industry was birthed while balancing A&W root beer mugs as a teenage carhop, fed by insatiable curiosity and fueled by the people whose stories entwine with each and every dish. She’s had the privilege of chronicling these tales via numerous media, including OnMilwaukee and in her book “Milwaukee Food.” Her work has garnered journalism awards from entities including the Milwaukee Press Club.
When she’s not eating, photographing food, writing or recording the FoodCrush podcast, you’ll find Lori seeking out adventures with her husband Paul, traveling, cooking, reading, learning, snuggling with her cats and looking for ways to make a difference.
