By Matt Mueller Culture Editor Published Jun 27, 2017 at 10:02 AM

I never thought I'd say this, but thank the holy heavens we've got two episodes of "The Bachelorette" this week. Overall, this season's been a wild improvement over Nick's last year – but this show NEEDS Lee to leave, preferably via dropped from a helicopter (fine, with a parachute). 

Just watching the show itself, there's nothing all that different about the current conflict between Kenny and Lee. "The Bachelorette" is no stranger to contestants backstabbing and lying and "not being there to make friends." This is all standard-issue reality show drama, and it should be fun – especially since the show's set up these characters as ideal foils, with Kenny as the big-hearted bruiser who cries talking with his daughter over the phone and Lee as the unapologetic weasel with annoying poofy hair playing their parts perfectly. 

But thanks to Lee's past tweets – and his corresponding behavior on the show – this battle isn't just typical reality show silliness. It's playing with real-world ugliness, and it's amazing how quickly that turns their fight from fun to frustrating, watching a weaselly white guy make an amicable black guy's life hell for "entertainment." It makes one yearn for the light-heartedly dumb days of Whaboom Guy versus Aspiring Drummer. 

This week's episode started with the two having calm if coarse words on the mansion's patio. As Will accurately noted, there was a lot of aggressive pointing going on. The two eventually went their ways – but they also both got roses at the ceremony, so they weren't exactly going far from each other. And as much fun as it was to watch Kenny slyly ream out Lee under the guise of complimenting Bryan for his one-on-one date, once again, it's hard to get that much enjoyment from the whole scenario. 

Lee's worldview isn't just an outside interference, as his conversation with Will demonstrated. Will tried to explain the ugly history of racial associations with the word "aggressive" and why Kenny was so frustrated by him. And Lee's response to Will's calm, rational discussion was ... to completely ignore it and solely interpret that Kenny was using "the race card." Way to listen, Lee. 

Cut to the final 30 minutes of the episode, and of course there's a two-on-one date between Lee and Kenny. OBVIOUSLY. So the three hop on a helicopter and fly to a nice hilly hideaway where Rachel almost immediately takes Kenny aside to talk. And Kenny hardcore pitches himself and their relationship, noting his errors but pleading for what they have – and for moving the flip on from this irritating drama. It's passionate. It's heartfelt. It's honest. And Rachel seems convinced. 

Lee's counter? Fabricate some fiction about Kenny pulling Lee out of a van in a drunken rage. 

Now, sure, "Bachelorette" truthers, this MAY have happened – but do you really think "The Bachelorette" would leave some drunken altercation on the cutting-room floor? That they'd turn down airing some juicy drama? No way. So this is a garbage fairy tale from a garbage man – that Rachel at least considers, calling Kenny back over privately to chat about the accusations. Getting really concerned about your attorney-ing skills, Rach. 

But really, this isn't her fault. It's the producers' fault for not fully vetting Lee during the casting process – and the producers' fault for clearly stretching this tension to its uneasy breaking point.

Hopefully it'll finally reach its end tonight, no longer letting Lee infect the show with ugliness. The previews show a bloodied Kenny and Rachel all sorts of confused and emotional – but no sign of Lee. Where's Lee? Does Lee fall out of the helicopter? DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THIS, "BACHELORETTTE"!

Gone

Man, JACK! STONE! ended up being a bummer. I spent this whole season being excited about JACK! STONE! because, come on, his name is JACK! STONE! And then he finally gets his moment, a one-on-one date with Rachel shucking oysters and dancing ... and he's a total creepy goober the whole time, making way too many uncomfortable head-tilted shark smiles and trying desperately to make the chemistry work. You know when a parent is trying to talk their kids into being excited – like, "Hey kids, isn't this Quilt Museum exciting?" or "See? Vacuuming can be fun!" That was JACK! STONE! the whole date. He must be demoted to just Jack Stone from now on.

Plus, he said his dream date with Rachel was taking everything out of a room, locking the door and just talking. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LOCK THE DOOR IN THAT SCENARIO, JACK!? So yeah, Rachel sent him home during the one-on-one – while holding the rose, which, Rach, second time you've been a cruel tease with that. 'Twas a bummer. 

Not as much of a bummer, though, as watching Jonathan, aka Tickle Monster, this entire episode. He must've known his time was up, because every cutaway shot to him looked just devastated. Either that, or he was not happy about all the Kenny and Lee drama unfolding in the house, which FAIR. He won't have to worry about it now, though, as he and his overeager fingers got the ax at the rose ceremony.

Iggy also got the boot, but screw Iggy. 

Contenders

1. Peter

Don't get suckered into the "I didn't get a rose" drama here, folks. Remember during "The Bachelor" when Vanessa spent the entire back half of the season complaining about Nick and, like, the premise of the show, but then she won and it all ended up being for nothing? Yeah, that's happening again. This is just a smokescreen; Peter's gonna be in the top three.

And why are you so down on not getting a rose anyways, Peter? Your date clearly went great, having lovely chats with Rachel before a producer slapped on the balcony door window so you'd notice the patio – and then the hot tub, which the two got into. REEEEALLY into.

2. Bryan

The first impression rose recipient is still flexing that slick tongue, impressing Rachel once again on their one-on-one date and managing to convince her – and the audience – that, no, he is not too good to be true. Then again, "The Bachelorette" will need new drama for when the Kenny-Lee spat is settled, so maybe it'll be revealed Bryan's still single because he runs underground dog-fighting matches, I don't know. But, for now, he seems like a strong candidate – as long as he keeps that tongue of his talking and not flopping all around at full volume during kisses. Seriously, dude, keep that eel on a leash. 

3. Will

As I said, Will spent the first several episodes as a Whitney, a completely forgettable and interchangeable person doomed to be dropped off the show eventually. But then he dropped that, "But I will watch!" line about Kenny and Lee having words very late into last episode, and ever since, he's been suddenly possessed by the ghost of an interesting, fun "Bachelorette" contestant, rocking at handball and acting smooth with Rachel during their one-on-one time – to the level that he received the group date rose instead of Peter. He even took on the role of trying to explain the nuances of race and communication to Lee! It didn't work, but A for effort!

Pretenders

1. Matt

I'm not confident I've ever heard this man say a word this season.

2. Adam

My head was conveniently turned when "The Bachelorette" dropped its weekly cameo from Adam Jr., aka Annabelle's little brother, aka Chucky Jr., aka the actual real-life devil, and I've never been happier to miss something in my life. All this for a guy who gets a literal sentence of dialogue every week. 

3. Josiah

Josiah was like the inverse of Bryan on Monday night, saying all sorts of smooth-sounding things but coming off completely fake in the process. Rachel called him out on it during their one-on-one time on the group date, wondering why he didn't ask more about her, to which he responded with something along the lines of "Oh, that's an interesting point; you're so smart." Maybe Josiah should worry less about Anthony being Rachel's only black one-on-one date and more about why he's at risk to be done dating her, period.

Oh hi, Wisconsin!

Nothing for Wisconsin this week; instead, when it came to frosty, wintery locales, Norway got all the attention.

Line of the night

A part of me wants to make the line of the night Kenny calling Lee a snake, just because of the sheer volume of times it happened. But then Josiah, in prepping for their epic handball smackdown in Oslo, talked about his hands and how he doesn't have Donald Trump hands. So, obviously, that became the winner.

Mom-mentary

I watched "The Shining" (on Netflix now!) the other night – and yet somehow watching Jack Stone's date with Rachel was the most chilling and uncomfortable thing I've seen this week. In fact, some of Jack Stone's smiles looked like Jack Nicholson mid-murder craze. Madre Mueller and Hermana Mueller agreed, spending the whole sequence with cringing faces. At first, it was sad, but by the 15th creepy head-tilted leer, all sympathy was lost.

Speaking of sympathy, for a moment, my sister forgot her hatred of Tickle Monster and felt bad for the guy. She admitted he seemed like a good dude, and he looked so sad the whole episode. At least ol' Tickle Monster left on a positive ... wait, did he just go for a final tickle? Nevermind, SISTER INSISTS WE BURN HIM AT THE STAKE, PLEASE!

Matt Mueller Culture Editor

As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.

When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.