Kobe Bryant, apparently, is the favorite son of all Wisconsin jersey purchasers.
Kobe Bryant, apparently, is the favorite son of all Wisconsin jersey purchasers. (Photo: Mitchell & Ness)

A throwback throw up

The jersey apparel company Mitchell & Ness released an sales infographic of the most popular "throwback" jerseys by state, and there is a glaring, gold and purple mistake representing the state of Wisconsin:

Kobe Bryant’s No. 8.

I had to blink twice before that sunk in.

What? Kobe?

And while that was settling, I look over to the great plains and see "Nitschke" – yes, that Nitschke – somewhere other than Wisconsin!

Tell me why this makes sense:

KANSAS
Ray Nitschke – Green Bay Packers 1966 Replica Jersey
Nitschke spent his entire 15-year career with the Green Bay Packers winning the NFL Championship 5 times including 1966, a season where Ray was also a First-team All-Pro selection. Ray remained popular in Green Bay after retiring, having his phone number and address published in the phone book and appearing in local TV commercials for his auto dealership. His #66 jersey is retired by the Packers and he was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1978.

Every Packers fan in the state knows this, no? You know, on account of him being a Packers legend.

But, nah. Kobe.

And, to add salt to the wound, to try and clarify why Kobe is such a hot jersey, it says this …

Really, Mitchell & Ness? See Minnesota?

Ouch.

Well, let’s see what it says under Minnesota:

MINNESOTA
Kobe Bryant – Los Angeles Lakers 1996-97 Authentic Jersey
Kobe was the first guard to ever be taken out of high school as the 13th overall pick and in his first season became the youngest player ever to play in an NBA game and the youngest NBA starter ever. During All-Star weekend, Bryant became the youngest player to be named slam dunk champion at the age of 18. Although he initially played limited minutes, his playing time rose throughout the season to the point of taking crucial late shots against the Utah Jazz in the 2nd round of the playoffs.

This makes no sense to me.

But what it does say is that Packers fans are not the best in the country as some polls want you to believe, be…

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In Chicago, people mark their spots with a variety of objects, calling "dibs" on it, like with these colorful chairs.
In Chicago, people mark their spots with a variety of objects, calling "dibs" on it, like with these colorful chairs.
To me, if Milwaukeeans also called dibs on a parking spot, we'd use what we had handy. Like these guys.
To me, if Milwaukeeans also called dibs on a parking spot, we'd use what we had handy. Like these guys.

I got dibs on that parking spot. Yeah, dibs, you turkey

Another handful of inches of snow fell and we’re all out shoveling out the driveways, sidewalks and garage entrances off an alley. What’s interesting though, is no one in Milwaukee shovels the street.

Yes, the street.

I’ve never shoveled a street in Milwaukee, meaning never moving the heavy white stuff out of a parking spot. Not once.

And, as such, I’ve never called dibs here.

I’m not alone. I don’t see any Milwaukeeans shoveling out angled parking spots or street parking spots and calling dibs on their handiwork.

You know, dibs.

See, this is a real thing that real people do – specifically 90 miles south of us in Chicago.

The plows tear through the streets of Chicago, often burying the cars parked on it (or the empty spaces) and then someone who lives on that block goes to work to shovel out their car.

And, for the effort, they make that spot "their own."

Because f$% you if you want to park on a public street in the winter time when I shoveled it.


A Chicagoan calls "dibs" on his or her shoveled out spot.

This doesn’t happen in the summer mind you. These same people will park around the block or down the way if need be. But in the winter. Nope. I dug it out so this is mine.

And it’s serious, too.

Like, I will punch you in the face for taking my garbage cans out of the street serious. Like, I will hose your car down so it becomes an ice cube serious.

Maybe dibs is a Chicago-only thing, and you have no idea what I’m talking about. 


But here’s one thing I know. If Milwaukeeans decided to call dibs, we’d go with this option rather than the plastic chair. 


This is what I envision a Milwaukeean using as their space saver.

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