The televised pop culture magnifying lens, Showtime Network's "Californication," true to form, brought up a tantalizing personal preening issue a couple of episodes ago.
Season five, episode three examines the disappearance of pubic hair from younger generational nether regions.
The topic is first illustrated by compulsive masturbator Charlie, who has taken to watching "vintage" pornography because he has become so desensitized by the graphic nature of what's available now. He is shown partaking in some "old skool" porn complete with real boobs and ample "bush."
The fictional prophet of Los Angeles, envy of men and bed wish of women everywhere, Hank, then brings up the topic again in a bar exchange where he ponders (and I must paraphrase here), "if your father loved your mother's parts any less because they had more hair on them?"
Yes, a full plume of pubic hair has become a thing of the past, like VHS tapes and home phones.
The hairless wonder was also recently showcased in an amazing article in The Atlantic, "The New Full Frontal: Has Pubic Hair in America Gone Extinct?"
A friend brought this piece to my attention and when I told him I hold Esthetics licenses in three states and have administered these dos down there ‚Äď he thought I should expound on this.
I started self-administering Brazilians and was quoted saying that "hair only belongs on my head" long before Kim Kardashian said something similar and showed the world her pubic styling preference. I committed to the permanent option a decade ago when lasers were not as advanced as they are today, making for a ridiculous number of excruciating treatments. Tattoos or a traditional Brazilian are nothing when compared with the snapping sizzle of a laser on your lady bits.
But, it's not women's lack of hair down below that fascinates me.
Women do as other women do when it comes to beauty trends. Competitiveness, curiosity and fear of not measuring up to other females (or their lovers' expectations) have compelled ladies to submit to what, no matter what anyone tells you, hurts like hell.
It's the complete lack of thatch on dudes that has me in a quandary.
What happened to the hairway to heaven?
It's probably been ripped off by a strip of hot wax, shaved by the unforgiving edge of a blade or follicularly destroyed by the beam of a laser.
The male crotch thicket has been obliterated.
I am blatantly sexist when it comes to pubic hair grooming. Men should not go barren below the belt.
I find (non-excessive) male body hair a super sexy expression of masculinity. Especially when properly placed, tidied up and displayed over a nice physique. But "groomed" is different than bald ‚Äď especially when referring to the landscape down under.
I don't want to see a John C. Reilly or Justin Timberlake circa 'N Sync 'fro when you (or I) unbutton your fly. But, I also don't want to bear witness to the genital equivalent of Evan Handler's, Ben Kingsley's, or Mr. Clean's domes either.
Strategic trimming is certainly attractive and appreciated (I give permission to go stark on the family jewels,) but please stay away from the pre-pubescent look on the bulk of the full-frontal vicinity. Do not do as Mr.Miyagi told the Karate Kid and completely "wax off!"
Let me be crystal here. Removing the hair around your penis does not make it look bigger. We can discern the size of your wang with your crotch 'do left intact.
Simply set your trimmer to a conservative setting and landscape your precious cargo.
i'm glad lindsay is concerned enough about opp(other people's pubes) to write about them. now i can't get that naughty by nature song out of my head, and it's not 'cause i hate ya.
As a man I've tried to go completely hair free down there, but I could never figure out how to make the transition back to the leg hair, so a conservative trim is where I ended up. I'm wondering how often women run into guys who are totally smooth. I can't imagine it's a mistake made more than twice.
2 comments about this article.
Post your comment/review now
Disclaimer: Please note that Facebook comments are posted through Facebook and cannot be approved, edited or declined by OnMilwaukee.com. The opinions expressed in Facebook comments do not necessarily reflect those of OnMilwaukee.com or its staff.
Recent Articles & Blogs by Lindsay Garric
Published Dec. 2, 2015
I have allowed Fear to unrightfully direct some major decisions that greatly altered the course of my life. So I decided to dig in.
Published Sept. 28, 2015
In an age of Apple Watches and Google Glass, shouldn't laptops be impervious to water damage?
Published Sept. 9, 2015
Today, as I pull out the remnants, I remember the crazy outburst of my very first garden and all of its significance gets etched into the big picture of food production.
Published Aug. 24, 2015
The Blue Moon rose on July 31, 2015. This astrological wonder hadn't occurred since 2012 and won't varnish the sky with its indigo face again until 2018. To my delight, the early hours of the "morning after" presented a celestial show that will have to sustain me until I can witness it again.
Published Aug. 5, 2015
Lindsay Garric gets personal with Alice Cooper - her husband, Chuck, is Cooper's bassist - and asks him five great questions. Cooper gigs in Milwaukee on Friday, Aug. 7.
Published July 19, 2015
In addition to the hefty work it does through the family support group, the CJ Lomas Foundation has hosted The CJ Lomas Recovery Foundation Golf Outing each year to raise money for opiate recovery organizations and to provide financial assistance for those in need to get help. This year, the event takes place on Friday July 24.
Published June 30, 2015
Sluts can relax. There's yet another demographic being shamed.
Published June 17, 2015
The breeze cools the tops of my feet and sneaks between my toes as my soles deftly navigate every detail of the varied terrain through the most minimal athletic shoe I have ever invested in - Bedrock Sandals.
Published June 1, 2015
If farming had professional athletes, Dela Ends of Scotch Hill Farm would be an all-star. Her certified organic, family-run farm located in Broadhead, Wis. has provided nourishment through Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) to Milwaukee and neighboring cities since 1994.
Published May 20, 2015
Penelope Shihab, founder of biotech company MONOJO and CEO of Milwaukee's Columbia Biotech USA has an innovative take on creating and maintaining clear skin.