Weapons of Mac destruction.
Weapons of Mac destruction.

Water and laptops don't compute

In an age of Apple Watches and Google Glass, shouldn’t laptops be impervious to water damage?

As someone who has toted their computer into the bathroom while showering in order to "kill two birds," I must request that hardware designers take people like me into account and devise a way to fully waterproof these machines. At the very least, being someone who also keeps their source of hydration and caffeination perched next to their MacBook Pro while furiously working away on it each day, I beg these tech wizards to please create a truly splash proof keyboard.

My precious laptop is filled with unpublished drafts of children’s books, novels, poems, songs, short stories, memoirs, blogs and journal entries. This poor machine recently drowned. It uttered a faint "uncle" when I went to turn it on one morning after shutting it down normally the night before. There was an aqueous event that day before however. My water bottle, once a benign vessel for liquid, is officially a Weapon of Mac Destruction.

The pink Contigo was innocently hanging out in its usual position during my workday – poised to the right of the laptop, on a coaster. It usually houses ice-cold water from my refrigerated Brita pitcher and since I do not run the AC, the house was at a dewy 81 degrees. As the science of condensation would have it, the cold water in the warm room caused the bottle to sweat. When I picked up the container for a sip, beads of filtered water perspired onto my keyboard.

I hurriedly rushed to clear away any visible wetness, even detailing between each key with a q-tip. I breathed a sigh of relief as the computer went on working the rest of the day, as per usual. I shut her down in the evening before going to bed, as always, but that next morning, as stated above – the silver lady could take no more. I should mention, she had already made her aversion to water known. She had previously protested against showering with me, permanently shutting down her attached keyboard, forcing me to use an external typing device for the last two years.

As I am ok with compromise, I did just that, even enjoying the Bluetooth capability that allowed me to position my keys in a more ergonomic position for my body. As a half glass full kinda gal, I didn’t see the shower incident as a warning, but as more of a fateful episode, a "the universe kinesthetically taking care of me" sort of a thing.

My husband and I Googled every possible troubleshoot until we finally relented and made an Apple Genius Bar appointment. The diagnosis revealed a "slight pinkening" of the internal water damage indicator. Oh yes, well …

After some amazing customer service, (truly why Apple products are worth every penny) I approved the nearly $700 repair because of the sentimental value of the machine. I was just not ready to let go of my trusty ‘pooter, so faithful, even through such abuse.

The mending has a very happy ending as I am composing this blog upon her brand new keys right now. Apple returned her to me with a complete makeover. She has a shiny new shell, her internal components, damaged by my human need to use water to hydrate and cleanse, have been perfectly replaced – made like new and all of my treasured content saved.

I gave up showering with my computer long ago. I realize that was pushing the limits quite a bit, but I am still searching for a safe way to stay hydrated near my electronics. I am now keeping my liquids stashed on the floor behind me, forcing myself to be facing away from the device and on another level away from her when sipping. I’m basically on the floor for beverage enjoyment.

I’ve seen the keyboard condoms and have considered them, but am hesitant to sheathe due to my nimble finger speed perhaps being compromised (thank you high school typing class!) It just doesn’t seem like it would, well, feel the same. And yes, I’ve heard that one before too. Lamest excuse in the book – I know.

Have you destroyed an electronic device by submersion? If so – tell me! And if you have successfully figured out water protection – let me know! My beloved silver girl and I could use all the help we can get!

Talkbacks

Post your comment/review now No Talkbacks for this article.
Post your comment/review now

Facebook comments

Disclaimer: Please note that Facebook comments are posted through Facebook and cannot be approved, edited or declined by OnMilwaukee.com. The opinions expressed in Facebook comments do not necessarily reflect those of OnMilwaukee.com or its staff.