Disney released a new trailer today for next year's "Beauty and the Beast" live-action remake.

Watch the ravishing trailer for Disney's live-action "Beauty and the Beast"

Death. Taxes. Disney making live-action remakes of its classic animated hits. These are the only guarantees in life. Cynicism toward Hollywood's lack of imagination aside, though, Disney's done a pretty respectable job with their live-action rehashings ("Cinderella" is still a genuine enchantment) and today's newly released "Beauty and the Beast" trailer would only seem to solidify that. 

Basically, if you like the 1991 original animated movie, you'll probably love this trailer, which visually looks a whole lot like the Best Picture-nominated hit just recreated in beautiful, ravishing reality. 

My only gripe: Dan Stevens (poor, poor Matthew Crawley on "Downton Abbey") should be Gaston, not The Beast. If anyone's seen "The Guest" (you should!) or even "Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb" (you can pass!), you know he'd be absolutely perfect for a deviously charismatic and handsome ham. And while Luke Evans could be perfect for the cruel and vicious Gaston of the back end – and I have hope he can pull off the preening ego of the first half – I'm worried he's too intense and obviously sinister.

Also: Why cast Dan Stevens if you're just going to bury him in a mo-cap suit and unrecognizable voice modulation? You could've hired me for like a 10th of the price!

These, however, are just silly gripes based on exactly two minutes of footage, so I look forward to being proven completely wrong when the movie comes out (and makes an ocean of money) on March 17. I still would've taken that paycheck, though, Disney. You could've at least asked. 

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